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4 weeks post op and depressed.



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I had my vertical sleeve done on 2/12/13. My surgeon felt that since I am 6' 3" tall that 250lbs would be a good target weight for me achieve. Which is a pretty reasonable weight for a man my height and build. My heaviest was 8/12 when I was 358lbs. As of today, 3/11/13, I am 316lbs.

I just had my four week follow-up today at my surgeons office and I am devastated and depressed from the visit.

I suppose I should preface my post with what happened with my one week follow up. At my one week follow-up, I was unable to see my surgeon that performed my procedure and instead saw the RN at his office. The RN basically said that in regards to weight loss that the first month really doesn't count too much since your body is readjusting to your new stomach, fluids are moving around, fat being redistributed, etc. That being said I was getting all the Protein and Water in I was supposed to and they were satisfied with the results.

Today I had my four week follow up, and again I was unable to see my surgeon. Instead I had my follow up with the surgeons assistant. So far I have lost 20lbs in one month, have lost 10% of my BMI, and was told by the surgeons assistant that I was not doing enough to loose weight and that my ultimate goal should be 200lbs...not 250lbs like the surgeon said.

I started to immediately get deflated and depressed because I personally thought that losing 20lbs and 10% of my BMI in one month was pretty good considering this is just 4 weeks post op. Then I got depressed and confused because I was told that the first month doesn't count by the RN, but the surgeons assistant is telling me that the first month does indeed count. Then I was confused and angry because the surgeon said I should be 250lbs and this person is saying I should be 200lbs...thats a big difference!! I left there today angry, frustrated, confused, and felt like a utter failure.

Too add insult to injury the surgeons assistant also said that I was at the low end of their statistics in regards to where my weight loss should be and that I should be doing better. However, going into this whole process no one from this office told me that I should be at X in one month, at Y in 2 months, and Z in three months. In other words I was made to feel poorly because I didn't meet his goals and expectations when he never told me what those expectations were. Before I left he wanted to see me in 2 months from today and didn't even tell me what he wanted to see from me or expect from me in two months. It's kind of hard to score a touch down if you don't know where the end zone is.

I really do not want give up going to my follow-ups knowing how important they are. But if no one in that office can communicate to each other, IE what my ultimate weight goal should be; 200 or 250lbs, and be treated so horribly for what I feel was a good result then I am not sure if I want to go back to that office again. I do plan on sticking with what my nutritionist has laid out for me, continue to get my protein, and exercise. I will continue to push on in my weight loss but am really uncertain if I wish to do so with this office.

I just needed to get this off my chest and was wondering if anyone else has had an experience like this? I'm a pretty tough guy, but this one had my near tears today.

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Sorry you are getting such mixed messages with your Dr. office. Perhaps a phone call and state that you are not clear on what you should be doing and ask for an appointment with the surgeon? This is too important to be blown off and be given such conflicting information from your Surgeon's office. Speak openly with him and let him know how difficult it is to be successful with such a large range of difference of opinions from what should be a fairly close consensus.

Best of luck, you deserve better.

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Man I really feel for ya:( That's sucks that no one from that office is on same page. I never heard that the first month doesn't count?WTF! Seems like you are doing very good. Each person and body is so very different, don't let that get you down, and demand to see your Dr, not the RNs. Keep up the good work. Your body will tell you when its lost enough weight. Then you'll just have to work on maintaining.

Good luck:)

Your on your way to a healthier life:)

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That's pretty crappy. Weight lost is weight lost, right? And everyone loses at different rates, especially when their body is still recovering. You don't need to feel anxious and nervous about "doing it right" and meeting some statistical chart. This is a huge change for both you and your insides, and you're only 4 weeks out. You'll probably lose faster in some months than others, and slower in some months, anyway. It sounds like he just berated you for following the plan, and didn't offer any constructive help. That being said, I think it's definitely in your best interests to continue your follow-up care. You should have the right to request an appointment with your surgeon or the RN, and tell them that you're not comfortable meeting with the PA anymore.

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Yeah that is never a easy thing to hear, I know for me it was a little different one being a women and because I didn’t fit the “norm” the day of surgery I was asked multiple times why I was getting this done and I was not really that big. Being 245 pounds and 5’3 was not the normal demographic apparently.

But with that being said, I personally never asked what the “goal” weight was for me because I didn’t want to set myself up for failure if I didn’t reach the “magic” number, which I have done so many times in the past with my trial and error on diets. The best thing that any of my drs ever told me about weight loss is that your body will slow or stop going down if you are doing the right things when you hit that number, so don’t let someone else’s view of what you should or should not be doing change how well you are doing on your journey. Everyone loses at different rates you may lose 10 pounds one month and then the next lose 30 pounds you don’t want to drop to quickly because you will end up with the loose skin and personal image issues.

My recommendation, take it one day at a time and be happy that you were able to make the choice that you did and that you are 20 pounds closer to your goal.

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I understand your frustration! I would feel battered if I was told I was at the low end of their chart as well!! I failed to understand why he felt the need to share this info with you? I thought the idea is we all lost differently? That's the reason why my DR. NEVER told me what he expected me to lose, what my weight should be at any point of time during my journey!! He simply said : Follow my protocol, and you should lose about 75 to 80% of me excess weight within 18 months.

I have only seen him once post surgery. I mostly see and communicate with the RN. If a visit showed low lost, she usually makes adjustments to my food intake to help bump it up. I am usually the one to panic. She never makes me feel like the low lost is a failure of my part. She reviews my labs, reviews my food journal, answers my emails ect! I am satisfied with her. She is very competent.

As long as you know you are doing everything that you need to do( Protein, Water, Vitamins, no snacking, no sugar, low cab, exercise, rest ) I would say don't worry. Your body is going to eventually respond to the surgery. And if they have goals that they want you to reach, that's fine, but they should let you know!! They need to give you a clear outline of what is expected.

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First of all let me tell you I'm so proud of your weight loss. That's awesome. Honestly I have a thyroid issue so if I can hit 20 in a 4 weeks I'm celebrating! Don't let this ignorant assistant put you down just because someone has a title it doesn't make them right. I beg you to change or never go back if you can't see your surgeon. I would report the creap who decided they were judge over the entire sleeve production program! Ok I'm calm now so we all lose differently. My surgeon told me to really make healing my primary concern the first few weeks so your weight loss is kinda out of your control. Of coarse you should keep your Protein high and carbs low. Stay away from sugary stuff but I'm sure you know that. You will be so successful omg and your a guy ha I wish you so have an edge with all your testosterone! Anyways don't worry you lose this weight for you if 250 looks good great if not keep going. The best to you and you journey.

Rebecca

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I sent you a pm! Let me know if you have questions.

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I've started several responses to your post. I think you are doing fine and those lab-coat wearing Napoleans need to respect your individuality. It sounds like you were doing a good job following the plan until they decided to discourage you.

Please don't let these folks get you down. Stick with the plan. The final number will take care of itself.

BTW, tomorrow marks four weeks since my surgery.

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Next appt demand to see your doctor call ahead see if he's there and if not reschedule your appt.. Give it some time 20 lbs in one month is amazing

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I don't understand how he could say the first month counts, it takes at least 8 weeks for our sleeve to completely heal. I'm at 7 weeks and still have some swelling. Your body is still in shock to what it's going through. 20 lbs is a great job, you need a pat on the back not a kick in the pants. Keep up the good work!

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