female only Advice for relationships post-op

[beba238 123]

My bf got really excited when i told him my surgery date. He even joked about me leaving him for someone else... and mentioned how he can't wait to throw me all over the place in the bedroom lol.

He's very happy. He wants to get bikes so we can ride together. Will this last? Will it get better or worse?

I am excited and I hope my bf doesn't change and that i don't change as well.

Jealousy is normal in any relationship. I hope he doesn't get jealous when i start going out and wearing nice clothes and gett attn from guys, etc.

I've been with my bf for 5 years and I've gained 45 lbs during the time we've been dating. I hope to lose the wait and gain the confidence i had back then.

I want to keep him on his toes but at the same time reassure him that i am still the same person. Any advice is strongly appreciated. Thanks!!! :wub:

*** Getting sleeved on March 19th***

[Lisa'slosinit 147]

i guess the feelings are normal , but on my end its a little different ! my fiance of 5 years and i are both swingers !!!He has always enjoyed "chunky" "curvy" girls and really wasnt too fond of me having this surgery. But now that i have and have shed some major pounds ....our sex life has never been better!i know about gaining weight .....since we met i had gained a good 50 pounds myself!!!...wait til your curves start poppin out !!!i feel soooo much better !!!!

[melissa130 135]

Of course you are gonna change dear! all for the good. If you are truly in love with him--- you will not care about attention from other men Therefore - your boyfriend will not need to feel jealous- because you will be showing him he has nothing to worry about and you care deeply for him. I truly believe that relationships that break apart because one party has lost weight were never meant to be.

I have a friend who lost 100 pounds. She looked gorgeous and had a dedicated husband who adored her- even when she was fat. He always encouraged her to get healthy in a loving way. All of a sudden - she gets major attention from men at work and everywhere else they usually went as a couple. These men never even batted an eye at her before. But her husband - proudly stood by her and showed her love and respect. Well she ate it up and couldn't get enough attention- and ended up cheating with a man who gave her an STD. Her and her husband of 12 years - divorced. They have 2 little children. The husband is still a mess. ANd she is alone and miserable- gaining weight and seriously regretting the choices she has made. Sorry for the novel- just felt like sharing a story....

[melissa130 135]

Oh and jealously is not normal in any healthy relationship. Not even a little bit of jealousy.

[beba238 123]

i guess the feelings are normal , but on my end its a little different ! my fiance of 5 years and i are both swingers !!!He has always enjoyed "chunky" "curvy" girls and really wasnt too fond of me having this surgery. But now that i have and have shed some major pounds ....our sex life has never been better!i know about gaining weight .....since we met i had gained a good 50 pounds myself!!!...wait til your curves start poppin out !!!i feel soooo much better !!!!

Congrats on your surgery... You give me great hope... I hope you and your fiance are doing well!! Thanks for posting!

[beba238 123]

Of course you are gonna change dear! all for the good. If you are truly in love with him--- you will not care about attention from other men Therefore - your boyfriend will not need to feel jealous- because you will be showing him he has nothing to worry about and you care deeply for him. I truly believe that relationships that break apart because one party has lost weight were never meant to be.

I have a friend who lost 100 pounds. She looked gorgeous and had a dedicated husband who adored her- even when she was fat. He always encouraged her to get healthy in a loving way. All of a sudden - she gets major attention from men at work and everywhere else they usually went as a couple. These men never even batted an eye at her before. But her husband - proudly stood by her and showed her love and respect. Well she ate it up and couldn't get enough attention- and ended up cheating with a man who gave her an STD. Her and her husband of 12 years - divorced. They have 2 little children. The husband is still a mess. ANd she is alone and miserable- gaining weight and seriously regretting the choices she has made. Sorry for the novel- just felt like sharing a story....

Thanks for your kinds words... and that story! I was following this girl on youtube who got the lap band like 4 years ago and I can tell that her hubby and her are having trouble and she mentions it but i love the fact that they are fighting for their relationship. Thanks for posting!

[abridgie 73]

My husband wasn't excited about my decision but supported me anyway. Now I can hardly keep his hands and other parts off me!!!! Good Luck!!!!

[BigFatLoser 331]

My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years. He loved me 90 pounds ago, and loves me now.. even when I don't love myself. There's no man that could do for me what he can. In any way!!! Now im just bragging lol. Sorry.

Everything new we expect to experience always is discussed as a WE. I look forward to going dancing in sexy clothes...with him.

I trust that we will be ok. I believe that if you're solid before, you'll be solid after.

[BigFatLoser 331]

Oh and jealously is not normal in any healthy relationship. Not even a little bit of jealousy.

I don't agree with this completely. ****... 'normal' isn't normal in most relationship THESE DAYS.

A bit of jealousy can be healthy if only for the reason that it prevents complacent blinders.

[Sassafras 136]

My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years. He loved me 90 pounds ago, and loves me now.. even when I don't love myself. There's no man that could do for me what he can. In any way!!! Now im just bragging lol. Sorry.

Everything new we expect to experience always is discussed as a WE. I look forward to going dancing in sexy clothes...with him.

I trust that we will be ok. I believe that if you're solid before, you'll be solid after.

Couldn't agree more...great advice! My hubby and I are the same way and have been extremely happy for 14 yrs. He was supportive when I gained weight, supportive of my surgery, and Iis VERY supportive of my new and improved figure.

[Cupcake 801]

I agree with the above statements be honest with yourself and your partner, my husband has been very supportive from the very start he loves me unconditional no matter what size I am, although the weight lost helps you become healthy you must remember the people who are in your corner and who were their for you. This should enhance your commitment because you are making choices to be healthy which makes yo a better person, poor choices is what got you into this point in the first place and you need to always keep that in mind.

[Aribay1 198]

I'm 3 months post op. And my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 1/2 years. He's been scared of loosing me and ya know the typical fears. But so far we've been happy like we've always been. I have my moments where it doesn't feel like I've lost weight and he's been my biggest supporter! He's even told me he sees a huge difference in me now. If I don't want to go to the gym he tells me to get my ass up and go! And sex wow I can go on top now and not feel tired after 5 seconds. Sex is more fun.

If he's the right one for you he'll stick around through the good and the bad times.

Wish you guys the best!