Anyone having problems telling others?

[TTL 6]

I want to know if anyone that has had this surgery already had a problem with telling others like family/friends that you have decided to do so? If you did tell others did it seem to help? Or did it make it seem worse like you wish you never told them at all. Thanks so much for any feedback on this matter! :-)

[Takingcontrol 467]

My family knows, but that's all!

[Wrinkle 37]

I told one trusted friend and family. I haven't felt the need to tell anyone else.

[doreen70 268]

I'm an open book, where my surgery is concerned. My boss told us at work a year ago that she was going to have it. I had never heard of the surgery until then. So, her frankness about the procedure led me to be as honest.

[TTL 6]

That is great you can do that doreen I wish I felt like I could.. I would actually love that feeling but I have told one friend and my husband and thats it.. My husband said this put alot of pressure on him and he wants me to tell others at least in my family. I am just not comfortable doing so. I don't know if in time I will after surgery but dont think so. Thanks for the feedback to you all means alot to me

[brownskin74 2]

I had the surgery on February 20th, told my husband and a close, I don't see the need to tell anyone. I just go to the gym and working out, loosing weight. I don't feel the need to tell anyone, people talk too much. I'm a nurse and I was over weight, people expect you to be in shape or eat healthy. But it's not true a lot of nurses are overweight. As long you are comfortable with yourself, I don't see the need to tell anyone.

[mandi827 50]

I am also an open book. Everyone at work supports me and so do friends and family. I know people that have suddenly lost weight fast and say they have been working out etc..and people are talking behind their backs that they think they are lying and had surgery. Whether they did or didn't, I didn't want that.for myself. I just told people how I walk everyday and cannot lose weight. I have a bad back and if I do not lose weight then would need back surgery so I chose weight loss instead. It is your personal preference. Good Luck!

[vickyt 12]

When I decided to have my surgery I decided that I would only tell a few people that I trust. Once I had my surgery I found it difficult when people asked me how I was losing my weight. I feel like I am living to them if I don't tell them. But I don't want to tell them. I feel like their praise is not for me if I lie to them. I know I am a weirdo

[Zen 29]

I did but then started to preface the discussion with I need you to be positive and accepting with what I'm going to share.

[SMO 193]

I was also very open. Altering my schedule to be off for 15 days was going to impact a lot of people and the folks I work with are like hound dogs on a scent if they think there is a secret to sniff out. If I told one person, everyone would eventually know, so I was very up front. Several people cornered me alone later to ask specific questions. At least one person has gone to the initial seminar after I 'came out'. I think that is nice.

[Banned member 320]

I go back and forth about being open. There are a lot of people that know and I was open with people on Facebook. I got rid of my facebook about 2 months ago (not related to wls), I just got tired of it. My family knows but they live way in Maryland and I live in Colorado. I do get annoyed when people ask how much have I lost, especially since my weight loss is at a healthy rate and no one would ever suspect that I've had wls. I do have a close friend who probably weighs about 350 pounds and she's struggling health wise but I'm trying to figure out how to bring up surgery without me feeling like I'm being judged negatively. I could mention it next time she brings up her weight but it just never seemed appropriate and she doesn't know that I've had surgery. I've only known her for about a month but she's really nice.

I always feel that when I tell people they are constantly watching me and judging and I don't like to stand out. Like I said earlier I go back and forth and only talk about it when I feel comfortable but most of the time it just doesn't seem appropriate to announce and now that I'm 5 months post op, I feel like a normal person who is slowly losing weight

[Nicolanz 1,484]

I have a huge family and I will see all of them this weekend at my brother's wedding. I'm nervous my surgery will be the topic of discussion. They are all fit and never had weight problems. Word spreads fast in my family and I hope they are all supportive. I'll let you know how it goes!

[Susansoon 48]

I am an open book. I wrote a really great email and sent it out to all of family and friends Prior to my surgery. I explained the research I did the type of surgery and that if you had any negative comments I didn't want to hear it I only want people who are going to support me in this journey. I had an amazing response to it with lots of love and support. I could not imagine keeping this a secret from family and friends I think that would just make it more difficult on me in accomplishing my goals. I don't know if this is accurate or not but too a certain extent our family and friends assisted in us being obese and they need to know this is our new lifestyle. But every body is different and there is no right and wrong this is just right for me.

[SunshineGirlG 21]

It really is an individual decision. If you tell people they can help and support - but they can also judge and belittle. I'm not planning on telling people. I've watched my husband who had the surgery a year ago and is open about it. People say things that imply that he took the easy way out or was too weak. That really pisses me off - this isn't the easy way out at all. I'm not going to tell people because its none of their business and I don't want to open myself up to judgement. If I have a hysterectomy I wouldn't tell people - why is this any different?

you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

[dltrautman1 27]

I am a very open person so just about everyone knows. Anyone who knows me knows I have struggled. I am very physically active but weight was really affecting me. Ultimately, it is up to you if you want others to know. To me, this surgery was NOT cheating. It is a tool for me to get healthy! I am almost halfway and the differenc is amazing. Good luck and remember it is about you.