Help! Less than 3 weeks away & STILL undecided!

[Lee 316 24]

I made the decision to get sleeved in January, but the sooner the surgery is getting, the more I'm having doubts! I was so confident in my decision that now all I can think about is things I'll be missing. Like all my favorite foods & alcohol, and not being able to drink with my meal. Are these just simple pleasures I can give up? How did everyone else deal with it? I just want to know if its worth all of that, I'm confused if its my "fatness" coming out thinking of these things... I've been heavy my entire life so I really don't know any different. Is it worth it?

[bigp 2]

I feel the same way!!! I feel like one minute I have made my mind up, then I feel like I just need to be this way the rest of my life!!!

[tigerbelle 328]

I think this must be fairly common, because I have had similar thoughts

[Lee 316 24]

yeah! and whats even worse is that my dad, fully supports any decision i make but he really is worried about how i'm going to be after, if i'll regret it or become unhappy. so i'm all confused. he

never

voices his opinion, so it kinda means alot

[bigp 2]

I hear yeah.... My husband has always been very supportive, but just told me about a lady at his work whose mother had serious life threatening issues from being sleeved! Great, cuz being cubby isn't bad enough, when you think you find the tool to help you be healthier!

[tigerbelle 328]

I know what you mean, Lee...while generally I can make a decision and feel comfortable with it despite friends and family expressing their own opinions, with something like this, when someone you are close to whose opinion you value has concerns, it does make you doubt yourself

[920amy 409]

You are asking us to tell you if it's worth it, I think all of us post-op will resoundingly say, yes, it was worth it for us. The questions you might actually be asking yourself is Are you ready? The things you are worrying about are really minor when compared to the more energy, the better health, the longer life you might live because of the surgery, in my opinion. Also, I don't want to sound like a negative nelly, but it sounds like your worries may be hiding some deeper issues for you. Have you talked to your Psychiatrist about these fears?

For many of us, it's an 'easy' road, but there are those out there also who have suffered complications, and their journey is different, and more difficult. The truth is, eventually you will be able to eat your favorite foods again, you will be able to drink alcohol, and if you want, you can drink while you eat. The other half of that coin is our favorite foods probably contributed to how we got to where we needed surgery in the first place, alcohol is a lot of empty calories, and sadly some people find it too easy to trade their food addiction for alcoholism, and drinking while you eat fills you up faster, makes your food digest faster, so you are hungrier sooner, and can make you really uncomfortable, and possible cause you to vomit.

Having the sleeve is not like a magic pill. It doesn't make you skinny automatically, it is a great tool for encouraging you to make better choices, but if you're afraid of those better choices before you get the tool, you might not know how to use it once you get it, and that could make you more miserable. I don't think anyone can answer for you if it's worth it, because only you know yourself, but do be sure that you know yourself enough to know you are ready and can face the challenges, because this is a change for the rest of your life, it's not reversable, and yes, you will have to make sacrifices. I hope you can do some soul searching. Good luck on whatever you decide.

[bandicootc 91]

I was so fearful I remember sitting in the hospital bed and just wondering what in the heck am I about to do to myself. I was so fearful that there was no going back, and no way to undo what I was doing to my body. But just before the surgery the nurse came to talk to me and he had actually been sleeved year earlier with his wife. He started to talk to me about all the blessings that came his way and all the health benefits that he was experiencing the better relationship with his wife and activities he was able to do. And then he showed me a picture of himself from before where he was so morbidly obese, and so sick looking that he looked like he would make it many more years. That got me started thinking that I may not be able to do what I was about to do to my body, but I also couldn't undo death and I couldn't get back years lost with my children and all the fun things that I can share with them if I didn't make myself better. It was in that moment that I knew there was no turning back, my mind was set! Even after getting hepatic vein thrombosis postsurgery and being in the hospital with such pain that I felt like I was dying, I still have had no regrets. My time with my family has been extended, my quality of life has been improved, and I feel good about myself for the first time in years!

[rdt210 82]

I feel the same way. I started this whole process back in September and did my 6-month supervised plan, etc. I was totally on board to do this and then today, my surgeon's office called and told me I was approved and scheduled for March 25th. AACCKK!!! I did not expect to have that reaction. I feel like I have researched this to death and am as informed as I am going to be. But there's still the "oh my God, is this really what it's come to!?" in the back of my mind.

[swampdonkey 36]

I am in the same boat.

My surgery is 12 days away and I am not so sure now..I hope this passes.I went to my nutritionist class and after the class I had my pre admission physical I got so over whelmed my blood pressure went thru the roof..

[Colemon70 87]

Lee I know exactly what you mean. My dad is the same way. He called me he other day and asked me if I had second thoughts he said he is worried and he would work out with me every day. He works like a maniac and lives about a half hour from me. It mad me cry hearing him say that. I know they are just worried about us. I have made up my mind and know getting the sleeve will improve my quality of life. I too have been overweight forever and missed out on living. I'm ready. Good luck on your decision. you are not alone!

[bigp 2]

I think the funny thing is I bet a majority of us dont want to be Barbie or Kens, and this is a tool to allow us to be health.... And yet all we can do is think "is this the right thing."

[Rena's got this 274]

I'm just getting started, but I'm not wanting to do this just to be skinny. I want to be able to tie my shoes without getting exhausted, I want to be able to walk to my mailbox without my knees screaming at me. I want to avoid the diabetes that 3 grandparents, mother, 2 brothers and sister and multiple aunts and uncles have. I want to have a conversation with my dad without him chiding me...once again...about my weight. I want to be able to go to amusement parks and not have to sit out on the rides. I want to.... live!

...and it wouldn't hurt to be able to look good in my clothes again.

[chardgrl 27]

I love this site because we can all relate to each other! I too have my doubts but I know in my heart it's the right decision for me. I think we're all nervous bc of the unknown especially bc it's permanent. But once I imagine myself a year from now, healthy, happy and with a self confidence I haven't had in years it cements my decision to go ahead with the surgery. Good luck with any decision you ultimately make!

[Shelley9 36]

I decided 10 years ago to not have this done. What if something went wrong? What if it didn't work? Last year, I was encouraged to have it done, by my endocrinologist. I said yes, what I had done for the previous 10 years only managed to help me gain 60 pounds and loose most of my self-esteem and energy.

Dec. 4, 2012 I had the surgery - gastric vertical sleeve. I was home 3 days later. Since Dec. 4, 2012 everyday I have felt better and better. I started at a size 26 and I am now a size 18. My self-esteem is better than it has been in 30 years (I am 48). I never remember feeling good about myself, ever. At age 16 I was 200 lbs. At my heaviest I was 314 lbs.

As far a the food plan goes now, I have fun with it. I bought a couple of small dishes so my meals don't look like a thimble full on a dinner plate and psychologically is works. I bought little plastic baby spoons and that has been great too. It slows down my eating and gives me a small enough portion that my sleeve stays happy. I used regular sized cutlery and found I put too much in my mouth at one time; when I used a regular spoon, a tiny amount looked wrong. Drinking with meals - not such a big deal. I would rather have the food than the liquid.

Back to the having fun part - every meal for me is an adventure. I love to cook so I cook for friends and keep a small amount for me. My boyfriend and his family are super supportive too. We giggle about how much I eat and I think it is cute, and we all know that it is a need not a choice for me. For example, he eats 8 Brussel sprouts, I eat 1, in 3 bites. He eats a huge steak, I eat 2 bites of his. It makes me a really cheap date for meals too

My only regret to having this done, and I mean my only regret, is not having it done 10 years ago. I opted to stay fat, less healthy, and uncomfortable for 10 years longer than I should have.

I have been fortunate that I have not really had any troubles and I understand that some people do, but I think it is all about being good to yourself, listen to your body and err on less than more at all times.

What you decide is your decision, but base it on facts and not on what ifs. Best wishes to you.