Does anyone else feel despondant when they PB?

[Sunta 5]

Hi,

I was banded February 2006, and so far am down almost 65 pounds, which is wonderful. But despite my best efforts, I am still PB'ing about once a week to once every two weeks. I don't call it PB because it's really more like vomiting. Every time this happens, I grow really despondant and sad. I get scared and depressed, and start thinking "what if my band slipped?" "what if my stomach swells shut?" (this did happen to me once and I had to get an unfill), "Did I do the right thing by getting the band?" The mental aspect of it is worse than the physical. When I do PB, I go on liquids and/or soft foods for at least 24 hours, then stick with soft or "safe" foods for a few days after that as well. My esophogus hurts for two to three days every time, and that just makes me more depressed. I obsess over things like traveling and what if my stomach closes up when I'm far away from my doctor, etc. I don't think I'm too tight because honestly, sometimes I do go two weeks without an episode. During the times when food goes down fine, I feel great and thrilled with my band, but when I PB, I go to the opposite end of the spectrum and start thinking that maybe this wasn't the right choice for me. I hate PBing soooooo much. It upsets me tremendously. Does anyone else experience this? What do you do to combat these feelings? Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I am so freaked out that I have an implant inside me, and I think "oh my God, what made me think this would be a good idea?" Maybe I have "physcological intolerance" to the band? If it weren't for PBing, I would be thrilled with it, but PBing is so scary and upsetting that it's making me second guess everything. Whenever it happens I'm in a bad mood the entire rest of the day and the next day too. The worst is, I never know what will set it off. Last night it was nuts. I've been eating nuts just fine for months and then bam, one filbert and I'm in agony.

I guess if PBing was not associated with band slippage, I would be ok with it, it's just the idea that it could cause me to lose my band that gets to me. Every time it happens I think "oh no, this is it! I'll probably have to have emergency surgery!"

Anyone else share my thoughts?

[marys 2]

oh my gosh sunta i am TOTALLY ON THE SAME PAGE AS YOU. i pb about the same amount as you and go through almost the same emotions - although i don't think my espohogus is as sore. it is esp bad for me when i'm sore for hours and then i do the liquids too. in the beginning my doc said unless it was happening every day i just needed to practice better behaviors. now i find it's behaviours plus a fickle band. all i can say is while it can lead to slips and probably has - most slips i've heard of are from the other type of vomiting (like when sick) or pbing all the time with the band. I'm always feeling better about the band when I dont really think about it and food goes down fine - as soon as it hurts or i realize it's stuck i get that deer in headlights look and wish i had never gotten this thing. all i can say is i am with you and to hang in there - we both did this so no sense in regrets - make the best of it and try not to worry - you are not alone and to me, it seems like you are doing pretty good. mary

[marys 2]

actually i have a question too - what does a sore esophogus feel like cuz i do occassionally feel soreness like bruising in my middle of chest area - maybe same thing and only after a bad pb.

[sweetviolet 0]

I had a fill 10 days ago--all was just dandy....I last ate or drank on Saturday--8 days after the fill and on Sunday no go--couln't even keep Water down--gave in and had all fill removed this am--couldn't even swqllow and keep down my own saliva--threw up all night--I am exhausted. after the fill was removed I could drink without any problem--and the doc is out of town till monday..tried to eat a little soft lunch and just gave it up--don't know what to do with myself--any suggestions??

[housecatgirl 0]

When I had a sore esophogus it felt like a sore throat and even Water hurt going down. The doc checked my band and pouch and reported everything looked fine BUT my esophogus wasn't fine. I went on Prilosec OTC for 14 days and all is well now.

[GayleTX 1]

I started having PB's that escalated into severe heartburn at about 6 months. I got some relief from ZanTac for a while but then my PCP gave me a big sack of Protonix samples..... and now (10 days later) Ive had only one minor PB episode. Do hope this is the magic cure!!

[vinesqueen 2]

I'm so sorry that PBs affect you like this. You might be a tad too tight, or you might need to see about something like the antacid meds like suggested.

I'm not at all surprised that you are feeling like this. We may or may not be explicitly told that PBs are a sign that we are "doing it wrong" or at the very least, a sign that we could be doing it better. frequenly, things happen that are beyond our control, in your case it could be that you are just a .CC too tight. Sometimes just a tiny little bit can make all the difference when someone is too tight or too loose.

Sunta, it could be that you are eating something that you are sensitive too, without realizing it. I don't know what it could be, but I would chart what you are eating, when you eat, and the relationship it has to the BPs. I know, I know, I am really big on charting everything, but charting is what has made it possible to make the diagnosis for the Cushing's.

[Parvathi 2]

Have you talked to your doctor about how often you PB? I agree that you might want to have a slight unfill of .1 or .2 cc. It can make such a huge difference. The weight might not come off as fast, but really, in the grand scheme of things, the health of you and the health of your band is much more important than how fast you lose.

[Marimaru 7]

I agree with charting. If you don't want to write down everything you eat, at least write down what you were eating when you had a PB episode, and what was going on around you. Was it something you can normally eat without a problem, but there were lots of distractions? It could be that you didn't pay as much attention to chewing as normal, or something like that.

Then, after you've kept track of it for a while, you can decide what you really think you need to do about it, or talk to your doctor about it. It may be that a little unfill is best, or that the tv has to go off, or maybe you are eating something that causes you trouble, and you aren't even realizing it.

I go through long periods of time where I don't hardly ever PB, and then I'll go a few months where I PB every week or so, and I just have to figure out what I"ve started slacking on to get it back under control.

[Wheetsin 714]

I'm not effected in that way, though sometimes I will hit a sort of involuntary panic state, where I really have to focus on just breathing. That has to be some sort of physiological response, but I don't know what.

After I PB, sometimes I'm ready to go do whatever, and sometimes I'm completely drained and will be "shaky" for a while afterwards, and just want to lay down and rest for a bit.