Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Talking about sex too soon? DATING



Recommended Posts

It's very frustrating' date=' I'm also on the online dating scene and haven't found very many men that are not propositioning me for sex right out the gate. I didn't put anything like that in my profile, so I don't know why I'm attracting that element. And don't get me started about the guy who put "no big girls" in his profile that won't quit messaging me even though I've told him its not gonna happen. I'm gonns delete my profile soon. It's discouraging. Sorry, I had to vent for a minute. Lol

Like others have said before me, just make sure your up front about your intentions, even if that includes not jumping in the sack right away. Was it last night you were supposed to meet him? How'd it go?[/quote']

Tell the "no big girls" guys that you think that's sleazy then hopefully they'd leave you alone. And, as somebody who did online dating for a while, being explicit about the fact that you are NOT just there for sex or hook ups might help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've had an online relationship now for two months. We've been out 3 times and they've all been in public. Today we are meeting at my house, I can hardly wait to see him. The last time we kissed, we both knew what was next. I'm scared for him to see my "firm body in compression-wear---80 yo type wrinkles nude!! This will be my first sexual experience since surgery May 2012. This man has called me/texted me everyday for the last month while I took care of my mother as she was dying, he also called me everyday while I was away for her memorial service in the Midwest. He is incredibly supportive of me and he lives 60 miles away!! Boy, I hope I'm as blessed as it seems. We spoke of sex once online, but that was it. On one of our dates, he took me out for dinner then came back to the hospital to meet Mom (she was in a coma at that time). But he held my hand and sat with me.

So, I doubt he'll run when he sees me jiggling without clothes. And if he does, there's not a thing I can do about it.

My Mom had a simple bladder prolapse repair and died 1 week later from infection!! It will be a very long time before I'll have any kind of surgery. So, what you see is what you get!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So how did the Starbucks Dea go?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It went well. And then not so well.

Long story short: I ended up alone.

He doesn't talk to me and his friend that professed his love one drunken night and ruined what I had with the guy, told me that he didnt want to settle with someone who looks like me when he could have someone so much better.

Lesson learned: I'm still a blimp, but a baby blimp compared to the humongous blimp I was, and guys will just want to f*ck me and not settle into a relationship.

Huge blow to my ego, but I kind of needed it in a way. I was getting an over inflated head as to how I look (I'm down 70 post op, 100 including preop) and I'm over here thinking I'm a super model when the reality is: I'm a 5'4 size 18 apple shape. I am soft and squishy, have no shape, my hair is falling out, and I have acne. I have loose skin, and wearing nicer looking outfits doesn't disguise any of this. The reality: I'm a work in progress. Plain and simple.

It really did hurt my feelings. All of my friends who haven't seen me in 6 months are just like OMG! You look AMAZING!!!! And I really believed it. I've never seen a fat person looking back at me in the mirror even when I was 300+ pounds. But I am still the fat friend. And I am still token fat girl when I go out.

The crazy thing: I love my roll. My belly roll I mean. I'll honestly be sad when it's gone.

Surprisingly, I still talk to his friend a lot. As rude as his comment was, he is making a positive impact in my life. I feel more hopeful than ever for a better future. And for that, I am happy.

I think for now I am going to stay single and focus on me. Love will come eventually. I don't want to settle with just anyone because I am so desperate for a relationship. I want to find someone who loves me for me and loves my body, loose skin n all. I'm sure that there's someone out there for me, and I'm willing to wait to find them

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel so sad for you :-( That dude is a ****** bag how dare he! Babygirl please keep your head high, the right guy is out there looking for you. Your paths will cross when the time is right. I am so glad you figured him out before it was to late.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It doesn't matter if you are fat girl or skinny girl, SOME guys are just a**holes no matter what. Just remember it's their issue and not yours. I agree with you that it's best for you to work on you right now and when you least expect it, BAM! There's Mr. Right! Good luck and keep us posted because your doing awesome! Good luck :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you are right to stay focused on you right now but don't let one guys opinion make you feel bad. One day, love will find you. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • rinabobina

      I would like to know what questions you wish you had asked prior to your duodenal switch surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×