aaayoungs 13 Posted March 4, 2013 I was just laying next to my husband asking myself am i too needy. It seems like I need xtra attention from him to be assred that he loves me inspite of my fatness. I just noticed it. Its not him. He great! So my question is, does this change after weightloss. Also has, has anyone had any problems with jelousy or overprotectiveness after surger from husband. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrmBig4Evr 152 Posted March 4, 2013 I've definitely seen stories of both. Its an adjustment for the both of you. If there is a problem after surgery, couples therapy is always an option! Good luck, I'm sure it will get better! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
keldolbeth 262 Posted March 6, 2013 I am not married but I do have a variety of dating and relationship experiences. I will say, YES, I was totally needy in the past. And, NO, I do not feel that way now. I will say it started before surgery because 8 months pre-op I started on anti-depressants. Then, once I started losing weight, my confidence has sky rocketed. I always ended up dating losers and letting them take advantage of me and put up with way too much BS. I just wanted to be wanted. I did that with casual relationships too. I didn't have many meaningful, successful relationships from age 22 to 28. I have been in one relationship since surgery (met him 3 months post-op) and it was the BEST relationship I've ever been in!!! Sadly, it didn't work out because he wasn't "ready"- too soon after a serious relationship, blah blah blah. However, I feel very positive about the whole experience because it taught me so much. I was broken when things ended because he was so different from any man I had ever dated and treated me so differently. I never thought I would find that again. Really, it was me who was different. I was attracting better quality men and being more assertive in relationships. My psychologist said something that has really stuck, "the way he treated you was a reflection of how you felt about yourself." I cannot stress how much my feelings about myself and men and relationships have changed in the last year. You will be amazed at the subconscious changes that will happen... you may not notice them at first but others will. The biggest thing about this surgery is making yourself, your health and livelihood a priority. That is a HUGE step in the right direction and will carry over to other areas of your life! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites