Selfish and Mad!

[ChristenOnAmission 27]

Yes, I am admitting that I am being a bit selfish and mad right now. My husband who goes to the gym almost everyday as soon as I get home from work with the kids is now making me put off my surgery. I have PCOS, hypothyroid, and high BP. I need this surgery so bad. Well, he got hurt at work and has to have surgery on his shoulder. Once again, my needs are on the back burner. I'm nor saying he is a bad husband. He is great but it seems like there is always something hindering my progress. I don't get to go to the gym like he does. I don't have 2 weeks off of work every month like he does. I guess I am just being silly, Idk

[stomlin75 161]

You are not being silly. I say hit the gym when he gets back from the gym, no questions or comments about it. As for the surgery, I sounds like there has to be some negotiation considering the circumstances but in the meantime, use the extra time to work on head hunger - that's the hardest part. Just being able to recognize it and talk it out will give you a big advantage.

I'm sorry you are feeling so frustrated. I can certainly understand why you would feel that way. Wishing you all the best.

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Your not being silly! I'm sure your just plain tired of being last in your book...Can't you go ahead and do your surgery also.....It might be a little harder, but it will be done and you will feel just as important as him too.

[Livinglifeout 217]

Do you already have your date? Are you going to Mex or doing it here. Start the process you need something to look forward too while he heals.

[odetteNYC 58]

I say do your surgery . If u have your parents or his parents have them come stay with you and help you with the kids . Your husband will have another good shoulder (lol) it's not his leg.. If it were me I would do it. Let him postpone his surgery you have the right to be you and happy again not always be last for everyone !! NO more!

[apricot1119 105]

That last bit says a lot. You asserted your needs, than devalued them by saying they are silly. This surgery is about losing weight, but the journey includes finding your power and your voice. Speaking for myself, I used food to push down feelings. No way to do that now. Find your power girl! You have to take care of your children's mother and your husband's wife. If you don't who will?

[ChristenOnAmission 27]

I don't have my date yet. I'm seeing my surgeon in the morning. I have Blue Cross Blue Shield Texas. From what I have read they approve very quickly. I already know I qualify. The same surgeon did my gallbladder surgery and he is what put wls in my head.

My husband has no idea what it feels like for me. When we met I was not heavy. My weight came on after I had my third child. He is in great shape and eats horribly. He can down a half gallon of icecream and polish off a bag of chips every night and not gain a pound. I just wish he would have been more sensitive to me. He has to do his surgery because it is workmans comp. I think I will do mine no matter what. I have the fear of him losing his job due to this injury and then we lose our insurance. That would be just my luck!

[No game 14,437]

Yes Christen, There is no reason to not keep going along the path you've already started!

I think as moms and wives some of us tend to put ourselves last a lot... If anything pops up we are quick to say "oh, ok, never mind"

I felt this way too about getting surgery! But I pushed through and did it. There is and old tired saying .. "Where there's a will, there's a way"

it is true though, let him have his surgery and you have yours. You will be able to manage and so will he

Laura

[annabelle 76]

cant ye both recover together, this is your time and as you said your afraid he could lose his job well that's all the more reason you have this op now, don't sit this one out, take back your control and go for it, look at if this way if you put it aside this time other reasons not to have it will keep popping up the best of your the choice is yours

[aaayoungs 13]

Just Do It. There's always gonna be something. You gotta take care of yourself to be able to take care of them. Talking to myself as well.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

Selfish and Mad!

are you kidding me???

i'm sure you do have a great hubby - BUT IMO he's the one being selfish

"sounds"??? like he might be all nice and trim, going to the gym everyday???

thats wonderful - everyone should be trim and healthy

how great that he has soooo much time off from work monthly

he should/is right there to help you with your re-cuperation post WLS

he can take care of the kids

i'm sure his shoulder hurts, and having surgery, followed by PT - is no walk in the park

but you two can work this surgery situation out

friends/parents - hopefully someone can help out with the family/chores/kids et al post surgery

get a pot holder - and take yourself off the back burner

you deserve to be in the FRONT

good luck having WLS sooner than later

take care

[ChristenOnAmission 27]

You guys are right. Im going to do it on the original date I was going to request. I'm so tired of always putting people before my own needs. I won't be able to take care of anyone if I am not here. This is for my health and quality of life and I am going for it!

[Jen.D 10]

My only question regarding ya'll recuperating together is how old are your kids? Do any of them still need to be picked up? That's the one downside I see to you both being out of commission.

[mvickyway 256]

Can't he go to gym.before you get home if you are also bringing the kids with you? He can have quality time with the kids and you can go work out and decompress

[ChristenOnAmission 27]

You would think he could but he doesn't. My kids are 8, 6, and 3.