Vet's Forum

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Yeah that's where I'm headed, I've been there but not as much. I'm bailing out of VST, just got another PM about some stupid BS. Plus the thread about the vets hijacking threads is just more BS. As much as I like it here and have enjoyed meeting all of y'all. I don't need it that bad. I wish all you good luck down the road with your journeys.

Hi John I'am wondering why you would let some individual's that sent you PM's run you off VST? They have poor boundaries and imupulses and don't really know what they're saying is attacking you. Let them know by PMing them back. You have the right to you opinion and they have a right to their opinion. They do not have the right to force it on you...The reason a support group works in a healthy manner is when you have people that are supporters and then you have people that will call you out on your sh**.....That's the balance of a support group. And when I read the posts where people are joking around and having fun, I take it as that. They are just funning... Now for me.....I don't get too much from my fb because I can't get any feed back.....or let me put it this way, I don't know how to change my notifications on fb. But I do get feedback from people on vst..It's not always what I want to hear, but it is honest feedback from the poster's point of view. I either accept it, or reject it. No I'm not excusing the people that get in an emotional tirade and get impulsive and respond with inappropriate comments. But I do know that that's their problem and I choose to not respond......When the posts go on and on with stupid stuff, I go back and click on the unfollow button which does the trick. This is an emotional journey that each of us is on. Don't let this derail your journey, I love reading your post...... So please keep posting. And remember if someone gets upset with other posts, it's his/her responsibility to handle their anger in an appropriate way.......

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I can only speak for myself - I am taking all this very lightly.

There are things I would discuss more openly in a closed group... haha... but I also see the value of sharing things so others can read and maybe find something useful. I have really liked many of the threads where people share deeply about some aspects of being a vet. Alot of them do get taken over with silliness too, and that doesn't bother me.

What I will say is this. Many many many years ago I was part of a yahoo group for lapband called "Bandsters" (then there were many others that followed). Well, there was a private veterans forum for people 1+ year post op. THAT wound up being the complications forum. With the lapband, you don't have risk of leaks etc short term, it is the long term problems (slippage, erosion, horrible reflux) that get you. If I had been able to read that vets forum pre-band, it might have changed my mind. I felt betrayed by that "support" group because if you were on the main list and had problems, it was pretty much blamed on your "lack of compliance". If you were a veteran, well, the truth came out.

With the sleeve, you don't seem to get these long term complications so more of the issues are around the "head trip" of massive weight loss, and the challenges of maintenance. I can see the value of "newbies" having access to some of those thoughts and musings. I still do sorta wish for somewhere a little less public to talk about some things with a closer knit group, but i realize I won't get that on VST - so it is okay.

[Puja 148]

Perhaps you are reading in more than is there, or I'm taking it all too lightly.

......

I just thought the Vets forum was that place, but it's not.

Pdx, you're right. I went through some of the threads and took a glance at how far out people were from surgery. There is a huge difference between the people that are less than 6 months post-opt, and those that are at least a year post-op! I'm still not sure how I feel about a closed forum, but I definitely agree that there should be an implemented rule regarding who counts as a veteran (aside from the number of posts).

I am 15 months out from surgery, but only had 90-something posts when the vet forum was started. I actually worked my way up to 100, so that I could write in this forum. Many of you on here, though, are regular posters. I've been following you since before I had my surgery, and would not consider myself a vet when compared to you.

Ack, I don't actually know what point I'm trying to make. I love this new vet's forum, but I hate that some of the threads have started to sound just like the threads in other forums.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I don't want a closed forum, either. All should be able to read, but posting is another thing ...

[coops 1,790]

Am I a vet?

I am nearly 2 yrs 7 mths post op... not at surgeon's goal (yet) and still obese as per the BMI scale... A failed sleever?

NO WAY! Maintaining current weight for nearly 18 mths, no regain; fit and healthy.

I have been coming to this site for support for nearly 3 years but over the last year or so my posts have dropped.

Sometimes I feel that when I do post I'm over looked because I am not at goal...? Dunno, maybe I am being overly sensitive. but I do know that popping on here every now and then helps me stay focused; keeping my eye on the prize as such.

Also, I have made some lovely cyber friends here that, over time I have connected with for many reasons, and whom I can turn to for a moan and a groan when my local friends 'don't get it'!

I chose to come here, read what I feel is relevant, respond if I think I can help.

Job done!

[clk 3,519]

coops is definitely a vet! One of my favorites, too.

And a source of inspiration because of the way she's been open and honest about her struggles throughout her long and quite frustrating journey. We need a variety of voices here, and sane or even serious ones are hard to come by lately.

Oh, and how many times must I tell you that measuring success by the scale goal you or your doctor set is selling yourself short?! Haven't you maintained that loss? It was hard won for you, but instead of quitting and suffering a massive regain you've hung in there when many of the immediate gratification folks would have dropped off and only returned to moan about the fact that the sleeve didn't solve all their problems.

You rock, and I wish you'd visit VST more often.

~Cheri

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Coops u ate a hot sexy woman and that makes u a success in my book! The scale lies and ur body tells the truth. Look how skinny I ate and how HOT ur body is! You are a veteran on this site not to mention again how hot and SEXY I are! SKINNY is ur new name.

[*Dean* 1,594]

I like the vet board bc, as stated above, life is totally different for vets than it is for newbies.

Personally, I think a vet should be at least a year out. The majority of the weight has been lost by this time and things are not "new" anymore. At this point, for me at least, is when things were finally becoming normal for me. I was starting to really live my life and not worry so much about what I ate, how much I ate and how I felt when I ate it. I had that under control and could really start living!

I don't post a lot on VSG, I don't even know how many posts I have made, I just don't pay attention to that. I do come on and read posts almost every day. Like other vets have said all of the newbie questions have been asked over and over again and sometimes I don't feel like responding to them so I don't. This isn't a bash towards the newbies. I was there once and was so thankful to be able to ask those same questions and to be able to find answers.

One thing I was thinking about the other day when I noticed a newbie had posted in the vet board is that I think bc the new posts automatically come up on the right hand side that some people just answer and don't even know what group that post was posted in. I know that I have done that plenty of times. The right hand side new posts is what I look at first when I log on.

So I guess I am trying to say that I like having a vet board. It might be nice to have a closed board. Maybe that would make it easier on the ops bc there are so many peopel on this site it has to be incredibly hard to moderate this site plus make sure every single post is from a vet. Especially lately with all of the craziness that has taken place on VSG.

Sarah

I think you're right Sarah. I think sometimes Newbies post here because they're just answering to a post in the right hand 'recent posts' column. Maybe Alex could look at not having Vet posts advertised in recent posts.

[clk 3,519]

From what I am gathering, nobody is really upset at someone with actual contributions to make accidentally posting a question or posting in a topic here.

I think asking the mods or Alex to police this is ridiculous. It's not necessary. The issue isn't someone with less time under their belt coming here to say something. I might feel differently if the Vet Forum got slammed with Q&A's from new folks but that's not happening. For the most part, new folks are respecting that this is a place for vets and they likely have their own ideas about what makes them a vet and will post here when they feel they've met the criteria.

It's a small group causing a problem and I'm pretty sure everyone that's involved knows exactly what the issue is, who is doing it and why it's becoming issue enough that people are discussing a closed forum. There's no need to make a super special group or exclude people if others are willing to simply accept the differences between this board and others.

I certainly don't want every thread here hijacked by banter and wagging fingers. And I definitely don't want to see good posters that are just trying to help get chased off by passive aggressive banter and mockery, which is something that IS happening elsewhere on VST.

~Cheri

[clk 3,519]

Oh, and lest I be called a hypocrite again, at least when I use sarcasm or mockery, I'm generalizing...I don't specifically stalk a member and post them into submission by making them feel completely unwelcome.

[*Dean* 1,594]

Like Pdx and a lot of others have said I think a closed group would be a real disservice to lots of people.

I think one of the great things about VST is that you get an insight into where the head of someone further down the road from you is at. I find / have found that really valuable. The only way you can get that is by reading peoples posts.

[Aussiegirl 580]

I love the idea of the Vet forum and was excited to see it.

You see most people move away from the forum after the surgerversary etc, but the journey we all started still continues. Some of us are still trying to loose, some are trying to maintain, some are moving onto the emotional/ life changes that now happen. These are different to what people are concerned about when we are first sleeved.

I dont post much on the normal boards anymore, pretty much here and the aussie section but check almost every day.

I hope this forum may help people continue to come and realise that there is still more to be learnt.

[Paul11011 372]

I'm confused as to why anyone would have any objection to having a closed forum available. With in a smaller group (closed forum) there is a greater chance that people will be more open and honest, especially about some of the more delicate topics having to do with WLS.

IE: If I want to talk about the emotional difficulty I'm experiencing due to my decreased breast size and lowered self esteem, I would be much more likely to do that knowing that not everyone on VST would be reading my more intimate feelings.

Additionally one would always have the option of posting where ever they felt like, either closed or open.

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

Why not request the admins to create a "group message" ability and then vets can "group message" the other vets that they feel qualify for their topic.

I really am kinda lost on what the whole debate is about... A vet forum was requested and it was granted. The first vet forum since the start of VST.

It seems like it is veterans discussing what is a veterans forum?

Perhaps this is something to be discussed with admin if you are unhappy with the vet forum.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Coops u ate a hot sexy woman and that makes u a success in my book! The scale lies and ur body tells the truth. Look how skinny I ate and how HOT ur body is! You are a veteran on this site not to mention again how hot and SEXY I are! SKINNY is ur new name.

This post is full of "hot and sexy". I like it. I need to splash some cold Water on my face.