Hellllpppppp... I have a date Saturday!

[trujiyi 9]

Ok fellow sleevers so this coming Saturday I have a date. He does not know I had WLS, he thinks I had a cyst removed from my ovary (yes, I know but I didn't want to tell him before met him).

Here is my dilemma: I was sleeved on Feb 14th so I start purées tomorrow. Obviously first date screams dinner and drinks and I can have neither. How do I manage? What can I have? He mentioned going to Cheesecake Factory, I can probably have a Soup but what do I do about the drinking part? juice? Plain Water? .., please offer advice... Thanks

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

Maybe take that time to explain to him your weight loss surgery. That way if it becomes more than one date you aren't always fretting about it and also you guys can plan things that work for you maybe activities instead of food. He could be part of your journey.

[TES 858]

Can you plan an outing that doesn't include food? Maybe a movie, or something active, or a visit to a museum? I can see not wanting to tell someone on a first date about WLS. You have to go with your comfort level. Hope you have fun!

[erp 2,016]

WLS is not first date material. I agree with and activity date. I love mini golf, it's fun and not too strenuous. If you combine that with a light bite to eat I think you'll get by. Personally, I think drinking on a first date is a slippery slope anyway even before surgery. I've seen people get trashed on dates and there is definately no second date after that! Since you probably don't know him that well, stay sober and in control, stick with Water with lemon or lime. Most importantly, have fun!

[Geminidrive 389]

I would probably opt out of a dinner/lunch date and steer him to a active date. Going to dinner would most likely only frustrate you more than anything else. I don't know where you live, but perhaps bowling, miniature golf, go to a museum or art gallery.

[SleeveNZ 219]

Clearly you are overweight so tell him you are trying to lose weight and doing a detox diet and like everyone else suggests do something that avoids eating. Its pretty socially acceptable to be on a diet these days.

[ShyV. 32]

I went on a first date 6 weeks after surgery. I steered the dinner and drinks option he had to a movie date. When we got there he offered food and i simply said "no thanks just Water is fine, Im still full from my last meal".

[Suprisedtobesleeved 20]

Maybe instead of drinks suggest going to coffee shop before or after an activity date to talk. You can order tea.

[mysleevemylife 158]

My opinion would be to just mention that you recently had surgery. I would not go into what kind or anything specific. Tell him that & also that your doctor has you on a special "diet" right now until you heal. Then tell him that b/c of this, you may not be eating very heavy. I would definitely tell him this before you go out so that he will not possibly be frustrated or you for that matter. Even if you decide to "see him again" you have the choice, by not divulging it all at once, to tell him specifics when & if he deserves to know. But anyway, I'm still pre-op, not sure what to suggest other than Soup or mashed potatoes if you can eat that. Sorry about the lack of suggestions.

[mysleevemylife 158]

Also, good luck!!! Have fun & shine bright! God bless...

[Unbesleevable 35]

I would probably opt out of a dinner/lunch date and steer him to a active date. Going to dinner would most likely only frustrate you more than anything else. I don't know where you live' date=' but perhaps bowling, miniature golf, go to a museum or art gallery.[/quote']

I wouldn't necessarily suggest bowling due to the lifting requirement so soon after surgery but I would agree with the others about a movie date or more active date such as mini golf or a concert maybe...also perhaps going to an evening movie you can do a Starbucks after and simply have a tea or decaf....don't stress it to much and enjoy yourself! Update us on whatever you decide!

[NewKristen 356]

Good idea! A movie and Starbucks after!! Movies are always a good idea for a first date, so you have guaranteed conversation material at Starbucks!

[trujiyi 9]

Thanks guys for all your suggestions, I really appreciate it. I will keep you posted on how it goes both food and drink wise as well as comparability wise:)

[NurseGrace 509]

I doubt you will be able to avoid food, no matter what you guys do, so you have a few options but let me tell you what I would do.

If you are actually interested in this person I would not go out of my way to hide this. I know, its probably shocking for people to read this coming from me because I'm always miss "its no one's business" here on the forums but I feel like personal intimate (or potential intimate) relationships should be started feet firmly planted on the ground rooted in truth. You don't need to go into great detail because it IS a first date and to most people its a fairly uninteresting topic, but there is nothing wrong with saying something along the lines of wherever you guys go out to eat you need to be able to order Soup or something like that because you are recovering for surgery.

I think otherwise what is going to happen is he may expect to buy you a drink, then thats ANOTHER weird situation to maneuver if you are not being upfront, so really, I would just avoid all that and let him know so an otherwise awesome date doesn't get ruined with weirdness and confusion about why you wont have this or that and why you don't want a drink.