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....frienfriends are saying i have not been there for them and i focus on myself....:(



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i have two best friends i have had for over 20 yrs .They were there for me 100% during my surgery . one of those friends had facial reconstructive surgery 4 days after me and because she couldnt really talk right after, we would communicate by texting. after about 4 weeks she let me know her feelins were hurt because i had not made it a point to come see her ........she lives 45 mins away from me .....and i supposedly showed that i did not care ?!

well...........my other friend has a 93 y/o grandmother that is in a nursing home over 1000 miles away and was told she has less than a week to live. she told me this yesterday on the phone , and apparantly i wasnt sympathetic enough because she just called me to let me know she was hurt that i did not show any remorse ( i am a hospice care technician)....and all of the focus has been on me !!!!!!

my first friend as mentioned in the 1st one above ......has a sister who had a bypass 3 yrs ago in another state and my friend would let me know that all thie weight loss had gone to her sisters head and hoped it would not have the same affect on me ( she told me this several times back in october )

so ............i am thinkin that since losing my weight and feeling proud.........which anyone who has had wls would understand...my friends should continue to be happy for me right ?????i do get excited when i keep droppin sizes and pounds and want ppl to be excited for me..., my friends should understand that i am not gloating, i am just happy !!!

i have offered to take them out to dinner several times this past month , but have not found a good time for all 3 to do so ...so now , i have both of my best friends pissed at me, who think i only think of myself (not true ) , and i am not there for them ............ugh !!!!just had to vent .........

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I have had this problem too...my friends did not know about the surgery, however the bigger friends had a very hard time with me losing the weight....one of them who was smaller then me and now isn't is constantly putting me down with the comment, oh I better get into shape....you are almost smaller then me...I just ignore it, cause I know it's her low self esteem...but it would be nice if they could just be happy for me and leave the snide remarks out of it. If they are truly your friends this will pass and you will come out of it just fine. Good luck!

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Friends can be such a pain at times. They are just scared they're losing their best friend. This is a good time to step back and cherish the accomplishments u have made. Maybe let them vent and reassure itself that u have done a courageous job taking care of u. U are a great role model for ur friends. It's just sad they can't express how fearful they are of losing u or u might abandon them. :) HUGS!

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Unfortunately, friendships change. This is your time and you should be proud and feel good about what you have done. Hang in there and let them know you are here for them but you have a right to be selfish because you are taking care of your health.

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