January Bandsters???

[I'm still here 0]

How should I handle this? Should I just ignore her, stick with my answer that I'm eating less, exercising more - which are true. Or should I beg her not to tell and come clean?

Shame on HER for putting you on the spot like that . . . you are absolutely right, it IS none of her business!!!

I personally do not feel like you owe her or anyone else an explanation other than the one you gave, which is the truth. I have CHOSEN not to tell either and I feel like it is my right to keep my medical history my business.

And about husbands . . . mine has been instructed to say that I am eating less, period. If HE choses to tell my secret I wouldn't want to be him.

Hang in there honey ~

Lynn

[5jacks 0]

I agree with everyone else!! At the end of the day you have to be comfortable with your decision. We live in a small town and seems like everyone knows about my surgery! No matter what you do I think the truth will come out sooner or later, either by a slip of the tongue or by choice. It's none of your sister-in-laws business so she definitely wouldn't be the first person I'd tell....she sounds like the type that would take the information and run!! My father in law found out about my surgery.....husband finally told him I was considering it because of all the questions about doctor appointments. Needless to say that was last June/July 2006, because of his mouth and throwing it in my face all the time I haven't spoken to my father in law since July 24 of last year!

Whatever you do, don't let her ruin this moment for you.....this isn't the easy way out (have you slimed yet?!?!?!) you're working hard for the weight to come off and you deserve to be happy right now!

[5jacks 0]

Also need to add that I LOVE MY BAND!!!! Tonight at the kids' baseball games I was called skinny! Then, as we left, someone I hadn't seen in a few months yelled out the truck window that I was "lookin' good!". I've lost 48 pounds since January 18 and have went from a 30/32 to a 22/24. Haven't gotten used to the compliments yet....not sure what to say, it's sort of awkward to be getting them about my body after all these years.....

[tonya66 13]

Haven't gotten used to the compliments yet....not sure what to say, it's sort of awkward to be getting them about my body after all these years.....

Simply say, "Thank you!". Take the compliment, I know its hard, I have a problem too with them, but someone told me I need to quit arguing with someone when they compliment me and just say thank you. I've taken their advice and thats what I do.

[tonya66 13]

Thank you so much for all of your words of wisdom. I am keeping my medical history to myself. If my sister in law asked me again, I decided to ask her something very personal in front of people, maybe that will shut her up. I think the next time she shouts out "did you get the lap band", I'll shout out, "How much do you weigh, or what size of clothes do you wear" etc.

Anyhow, I'm better today and I'm not going to stress over it. I agree, the truth probably will come out eventually, but until then, mums the word.

This is definately not the "easy" way out. I do think its a wonderful tool, if you work with it.

I'm doing great with my exercising and haven't missed a workout yet (except the days I'm not supposed to exercise)- I'm on my 9th day of the 84 day challenge.....

[Sula 0]

My mother, who is a very wise woman, gave me a perfect line to say when people cross my boundaries and ask things that are too personal. So, your sis-in-law says, "Did you get the lapband" or something like that...your response is "What makes you say that?" Which puts the burden back on her to explain why she would ask such a personal questions...then when she stutters and stammers..you must wait patiently for her to come up with whatever...you then respond with "hmmmmmmm, thats interesting..." and walk away or change the subject. It puts people off. I use it all the time with clients who are needing to learn to set boundaries with other people. It works.

Shawn

[tonya66 13]

Shawn - ahhhh, excellent! I'll use that! Thanks!

[I'm still here 0]

My mother, who is a very wise woman, gave me a perfect line to say when people cross my boundaries and ask things that are too personal. So, your sis-in-law says, "Did you get the lapband" or something like that...your response is "What makes you say that?" Which puts the burden back on her to explain why she would ask such a personal questions...then when she stutters and stammers..you must wait patiently for her to come up with whatever...you then respond with "hmmmmmmm, thats interesting..." and walk away or change the subject. It puts people off. I use it all the time with clients who are needing to learn to set boundaries with other people. It works.

Shawn

Very good advice - I think my reaction was personal because I am on pins and needles waiting for someone to ask me! Maybe now if someone does, I'll remember Shawn's advice . . . Thanks

Lynn

[Tres Chic 0]

Hi all!!

I went in for my second fill on 4/24, for the first time with a local surgeon (he did not do my surgery). Anyway, he couldn't find the diaphram on the port. So, off to x-ray I go to find out that my port is flipped!! Instead of lying parallel with my tummy, it's facing toward my left hip! Until I can have surgery to repair it, no fills for me!! How discouraging... and expensive too. Dr. K said he'd fix it for free, but I have to fly out there. The local Dr. said he'd fix it too, but for around $1,800.00!!

Sheila

My port is also flipped, but I've been fortunate and my fill-nurse has been able to manipulate it (sometimes with difficulty and 7 jabs of the needle) to do my fills. My doctor is willing to fix it, free, but he's hoping to wait until I'm closer to my goal so I can move the port to a more inconspicuous location (like my side).

[shues138 35]

Okay everyone, I need some advice.......I have been very secretive about my surgery, I have told everyone it was for a hernia repair, which I did have done. The only people who knows is my DH, my mom, my cousin and my brother.

I was having lunch with my husbands family yesterday, and of course, I eat slow, and I eat small. Well, I guess they are starting to notice and get suspicious. My sister in law came right out at asked me if I got the Lap-band surgery. I about crapped my pants. I was not prepared to answer that question, so I lied. I'm not a good liar at all, and I'm sure she could tell.

She then told me I'm just losing so fast, and I told her I was just now where I was last summer (which I am), and I haven't lost any in the last couple of weeks (which I haven't), and I'm exercising my butt off (she knows this - she calls me and knows I'm at the gym).

My DH thinks I should just come clean. The problem is his family is so judgemental, and I just don't want to share this, but I do feel bad about lying. I think its rude she put me on the spot like that, and I don't think its any of her business. I just didn't know how to respond when she asked me point blank, I didn't want to lie, but at the same time, I didn't want to tell her my personal medical history. I've been dwelling on it all day and I just know she knows i'm lying and probably talking to the whole family about it. I know if I confided in her, she would tell, she is a big gossiper in the family.

How should I handle this? Should I just ignore her, stick with my answer that I'm eating less, exercising more - which are true. Or should I beg her not to tell and come clean?

My husband says the truth is neither good or bad, its just the truth and he says he doesn't think he can lie if she ask him. My DH never lies and just can't do it, even as a child he would confess - so I just am worried sick about this.

Hey Sunshine, I wish I was in your situation, unfortunately, EVERYBODY knows about my surgery. There's only a few people in my inner circle who don't know (well just one person). In the beginning I told everyone, then when I was initially denied, I told everyone I wasn't going to get the LapBand but have a hernia repaired. I told ONE person at work, and then everyone found out when I got back and basically called me a spoiled brat because my parents paid for the surgery. My family knows about it, my parent's friends, my friend's parents (well her mom is a nurse so it helps when I have to ask questions), my friend's incredibly hott brother (that was kind of embarassing, but whatever). Lately now, I tell people who I feel comfortable with telling. For example, today I was at the aquarium with the whale program and we were talking about how a whale was feeling and the trainer compared it to laproscopic surgery gas pains (we've all been there) and that's how the whale was feeling, I told her I knew how those felt and she asked what I had and i told her the lapband, i don't know, i felt comfortable telling her and also the fact that she's super nice!

Bottom line, it's your business to tell if you've had the surgery or not, it's your body and basically your medical records.

[tonya66 13]

My port is also flipped, but I've been fortunate and my fill-nurse has been able to manipulate it (sometimes with difficulty and 7 jabs of the needle) to do my fills. My doctor is willing to fix it, free, but he's hoping to wait until I'm closer to my goal so I can move the port to a more inconspicuous location (like my side).

Thats great she is still able to give you a fill. When you get ready to fix your port, you might ask the doc about getting a smaller one, the low profile port, its smaller and less noticable.

The were supposed to install my lap band with the low profile port, however, they screwed up and the port was never ordered, so I got the regular one.

[tonya66 13]

Hey Sunshine, I wish I was in your situation, unfortunately, EVERYBODY knows about my surgery. There's only a few people in my inner circle who don't know (well just one person). In the beginning I told everyone, then when I was initially denied, I told everyone I wasn't going to get the LapBand but have a hernia repaired. I told ONE person at work, and then everyone found out when I got back and basically called me a spoiled brat because my parents paid for the surgery. My family knows about it, my parent's friends, my friend's parents (well her mom is a nurse so it helps when I have to ask questions), my friend's incredibly hott brother (that was kind of embarassing, but whatever). Lately now, I tell people who I feel comfortable with telling. For example, today I was at the aquarium with the whale program and we were talking about how a whale was feeling and the trainer compared it to laproscopic surgery gas pains (we've all been there) and that's how the whale was feeling, I told her I knew how those felt and she asked what I had and i told her the lapband, i don't know, i felt comfortable telling her and also the fact that she's super nice!

Bottom line, it's your business to tell if you've had the surgery or not, it's your body and basically your medical records.

Your not a spoiled brat, your fortunate your parents were in a position they could do that for you. I would do it for my kids if needed too. Just like as parents we pay for braces, dr. visits, etc. No difference!

I wish I could tell people, there are some people I work with that would really benefit, but I know, once I tell one person, it will spread like wild fire. Maybe later on I will feel comfortable enough to talk about it, but for now I just keep quiet. Everyone knows how hard I'm exercising and getting up at 5 am at work to do it, I also eat grilled chicken, fish and salad with no dressing so they see that I eat low fat/low carb/low calories, so I am assuming the people at work are not suspicious.

For the life of me, I just can't figure out why my sister in law even suspected it. Weird.

[Tres Chic 0]

Thats great she is still able to give you a fill. When you get ready to fix your port, you might ask the doc about getting a smaller one, the low profile port, its smaller and less noticable.

The were supposed to install my lap band with the low profile port, however, they screwed up and the port was never ordered, so I got the regular one.

Great advice...thanks!

[I'm still here 0]

For the life of me, I just can't figure out why my sister in law even suspected it. Weird.

Is it possible that she is considering it? I ask because before I started researching, I had never even heard of it . . . .

Lynn

[Tres Chic 0]

I've kept my surgery to myself too (well, except for my 10,000 closest friends on these message boards!!) Anyway, I chose to keep it a secret because people can be very judgmental when they don't understand something. I think even I might have been judgmental before I researched this procedure to death before going under the knife. I've been on some diet or another for the past 20 years, so no one really pays that much attention when I'm eating differently anymore.