Fears?

[brandy88 151]

Well I didn't have fears until family started in, and don't want me to do. But I want this and have faith it will be ok. Right? My date is 3-12 so coming soon, pre-op diet starts on 2-26. 1st fear failure during pre-op diet, 2nd infection, 3rd death. I need this and going thru with even tho family against, my kids need me for a long time. I just don't want to be selfish getting this done, is it selfish? Am I putting myself before my kids, could I lose the weight on my own? I have attempted so many times, and keep getting bigger a 100 lbs over weight I feel like I'm not me. I feel ugly and fat and like everyone is looking at how big I am now...so are my fears just that or me letting others in.

[DrmBig4Evr 152]

Normal emotions, I am feeling the same things, I haven't told my family yet. Im waiting until after.

[Delena2/11 59]

Brandy, Maybe giving them some information would help them understand? Even seeing some YouTube videos. They are just worried for you. I was really afraid my family would react the same way but they have been just great. Those that have not been as supportive have just been uninformed or they just are not really going to be their for me.

Maybe you can take them to an informational seminar with you? You look very young. I have not looked at your profile. I have struggled with wt all my life and am 40. I just don't see how I could have done it on my own, ever. If we had centuries to figure things out that would be one thing. It would be great to be able to to it ourselves but the scientific data does not support that either. IMO if you have not been successful controlling your wt you should consider this option. You are NOT being selfish you are investing in yourself. You are making sure you will be there for those precious children. Best of luck to you!

[TheGamer 406]

When I first broke the news to my family that I was doing this, while not outright against it, they were worried about me doing it. I found that by educating them, they came around. Now that I'm several months out and I've lost about 100 pounds, they know that this was the best thing I could do.

Being scared is normal. This is a big deal. Normal people live life with an intact stomach, not go around paying someone to cut out 85% of it. Nobody makes this decision without exhausting every other option. Are there risks? Yes. But the truth is that we run risks either way. By staying (in my case) more than 200 pounds overweight, there was no way I was going to live long. Now, I'm healthier and the people in my life will probably have me around for a lot longer than they would have.

Only you can decide if this is the right thing to do, but know that a little bit of uncertainty is entirely normal.

[melissapaige84 38]

I've been overweight all my life and have tried and tried and tried to lose it on my own but have gotten nowhere doing so. I have those same fears (minus the kid thing because I don't have any but I do have a husband that I love). I have been extremely selective on the people I have told thus far. It has slipped to some family I wouldn't have normally told and they were not supportive but they've been the only negative ones I've come across. Just remember you are doing it for your future and for the future you want to give to your family and children. Your health is more important than their biased opinions. Good luck! I'm getting sleeved on 3.20.

[johnlatte 1,232]

Brandy, you have to tune out the family. This surgery can save your life. Yes, absolutely there are risks, but those risks, are very manageable if you get your surgeon, your nutritionist and your primary care dr. on the same page. Do everything they tell you to do. If you don't know something ask them. Follow the plan to the letter. Get in as best physical shape as you possibly can pre-op. I don't say that you have to run a marithon but be able to walk a mile without having to stop and not be winded. The better shape you are in, the better your recovery will be. Second, you have to get your mind around that this will be a major change in lifestyle. If your recreational life revolves round food and drink, then you have to reconcile that. Many people come on here and be just a week or so out and want to find out when they can have a glass or wine or go out to eat with their friends. All that will happen, but it takes some time to heal, and it takes some time to restructure your relationship with food. Make sure you are crystal clear with your drs. and your nutritionist about when you can do certain things, and STICK to that. This is how you minimize the risks that you are afraid of. I would rather be slightly uncomfortable for a few weeks or months, than live with obesity. Everyday you live like that, is one less day you have for your kids and your family. Obesity is a killer, just like ciggies, just like heavy drinking and drug use. You can do this, PLEASE don't let the family sway you. You've come far and you will do well, but you have to get your head and your body in the game. Good luck! Hang tough

[Babysteppin 165]

Brandy, Maybe giving them some information would help them understand? Even seeing some YouTube videos. They are just worried for you.

This was the case for me, with my family. Initially they weren't 100% supportive, but I realized it was just because they were worried about me. Any surgery is a totally valid reason for family to worry in general...but in my family's case it was because they didn't know anything about the procedure itself. Showing them some YouTube animation videos really helped them come around, because it wasn't an unknown to them anymore. To ease their worry even more (you can tell I really planned this out!), first I showed them the clip about Lap Band...then 2nd, the clip about the Bypass...and then I showed them the Sleeve clip last - because to me, I think the Sleeve is somewhere 'in between' and it helped family to have better perspective of how the Sleeve is a great alternative to the other 2 procedures. Just sharing what worked for me. Here are links to the clips I used if it helps:

Lap Band:

Roux-en-Y Bypass:

Sleeve Gastrectomy:

[Babysteppin 165]

woah, didn't know those huuuge pictures would show up!!! yikes!

[lilbearzmom 584]

You are ANYTHING but selfish. You are doing this as much for your kids as you are for yourself.

I really do think that people who are against someone having this kind of life saving surgery are either uninformed or are attempting sabotage

because of their own insecurities.

Good luck- liklihood is that all will be fine and your kids will have you for decades to come!

-Kendra

[brandy88 151]

Thank you all I needed to hear that

[Geminidrive 389]

Obesity is a killer, just like ciggies, just like heavy drinking and drug use. You can do this, PLEASE don't let the family sway you.

You can say that again. It may not be immediate, but the long term affects will do you in.