Best Friend Help

[petra1124 33]

So I have only told a few people about my WLS decition, one of those people being my best friend. When I first told her she was suprised stating that she "didnt think I was that big." I have explained to her why I wanted the surgery, but she still asks me why I cant just diet and exercise. My mother, who is also supportive asks the same question from time to time, stating that I never stick with any diet and that is why I cant lose weight....that if I just stuck to the diet and exercised I would lose the weight.

I am getting really frustrated and I dont know what to tell them anymore to make them understand. I am planning on telling my father and step mother about the surgery right before I have it, and I am afraid that they will have the same reaction.

What do you guys tell people?! I am getting frustrated with being questioned and people thinking that its just a matter of will power and I am taking the "easy way out."

[ISleevedIt 380]

I've only told one of my sisters and my brother that I am having the surgery. My sister "kind of" put me down for not having will power to lose weight and keep it off. Surprisingly, my brother didn't say anything negative about it and he's the one I expected some. He just asked to me to let him know how it goes. Maybe he has some interest since he is over weight, but have lost a lot with gall bladder surgery.

I told a co-worker that I was having a "cyst" removed...hey that's what I'm calling my "extra" stomach that is being removed...that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I did say that the doctor may be removing part of the stomach in the process....ok ok, I bent the truth some, but it's all good and doesn't hurt anyone.

[petra1124 33]

Well, I have told my boss and she is really supportive. My husband and 2 other really good friends are also supportive as well, but both of those friends are also overweight and one of them has looked into WLS. What is weird is that my best friend is also overweight, I think she weighs as much as me, but tends to see herself as not being as big since she wears her pants lower. She has a lot of belly fat, but not an apron stomach, so she wears her pants below her belly button, therefore needing a smaller size...but in reality, she is the same size as me, if she were to wear her pants at the right height. Maybe she doesnt see herself as being as overweight as she is...and its just really suprising that she cant relate with me. She says that she is there for me, but its hard to talk to her about it since I feel like in the back of her head she still thinks that all I need to do is diet and exercise.

My dad and step mom on the other hand, I dont want to lie to them, but I expect them to react badly. I think it will be a little easier for me to handle them knowing that they will not be as supportive...but my best friend...its a little harder to handle.

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,146]

So I have only told a few people about my WLS decition' date=' one of those people being my best friend. When I first told her she was suprised stating that she "didnt think I was that big." I have explained to her why I wanted the surgery, but she still asks me why I cant just diet and exercise. My mother, who is also supportive asks the same question from time to time, stating that I never stick with any diet and that is why I cant lose weight....that if I just stuck to the diet and exercised I would lose the weight.

I am getting really frustrated and I dont know what to tell them anymore to make them understand. I am planning on telling my father and step mother about the surgery right before I have it, and I am afraid that they will have the same reaction.

What do you guys tell people?! I am getting frustrated with being questioned and people thinking that its just a matter of will power and I am taking the "easy way out." <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

Ask them be supportive or be silent. Some times we need to cut to the chase.

Amanda Rae

[AmandaRaeLeo 2,146]

Well' date=' I have told my boss and she is really supportive. My husband and 2 other really good friends are also supportive as well, but both of those friends are also overweight and one of them has looked into WLS. What is weird is that my best friend is also overweight, I think she weighs as much as me, but tends to see herself as not being as big since she wears her pants lower. She has a lot of belly fat, but not an apron stomach, so she wears her pants below her belly button, therefore needing a smaller size...but in reality, she is the same size as me, if she were to wear her pants at the right height. Maybe she doesnt see herself as being as overweight as she is...and its just really suprising that she cant relate with me. She says that she is there for me, but its hard to talk to her about it since I feel like in the back of her head she still thinks that all I need to do is diet and exercise.

My dad and step mom on the other hand, I dont want to lie to them, but I expect them to react badly. I think it will be a little easier for me to handle them knowing that they will not be as supportive...but my best friend...its a little harder to handle.[/quote']

I agree you shouldn't lie...I think that if we aren't going to be honest then we should be silent too.

Amanda Rae

[Geminidrive 389]

So I have only told a few people about my WLS decition, one of those people being my best friend. When I first told her she was suprised stating that she "didnt think I was that big." I have explained to her why I wanted the surgery, but she still asks me why I cant just diet and exercise. My mother, who is also supportive asks the same question from time to time, stating that I never stick with any diet and that is why I cant lose weight....that if I just stuck to the diet and exercised I would lose the weight.

I am getting really frustrated and I dont know what to tell them anymore to make them understand. I am planning on telling my father and step mother about the surgery right before I have it, and I am afraid that they will have the same reaction.

What do you guys tell people?! I am getting frustrated with being questioned and people thinking that its just a matter of will power and I am taking the "easy way out."

If you have any Obesity related diseases I would outline the pros of having the surgery versus suffering with Diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, etc. Put it on paper, send them a letter. Good luck!

[petra1124 33]

I do have high blood pressure, mild sleep apnea and pre diabetes. Ive told her these things too...my other friend thinks that she is jealous and this is how she is displaying it...

[Geminidrive 389]

I do have high blood pressure, mild sleep apnea and pre diabetes. Ive told her these things too...my other friend thinks that she is jealous and this is how she is displaying it...

Sometimes you just have to set some ground rules and let them know that this is your decision and it's not up for discussion or debate. I wish you well.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

So I have only told a few people about my WLS decition' date=' one of those people being my best friend. When I first told her she was suprised stating that she "didnt think I was that big." I have explained to her why I wanted the surgery, but she still asks me why I cant just diet and exercise. My mother, who is also supportive asks the same question from time to time, stating that I never stick with any diet and that is why I cant lose weight....that if I just stuck to the diet and exercised I would lose the weight.

I am getting really frustrated and I dont know what to tell them anymore to make them understand. I am planning on telling my father and step mother about the surgery right before I have it, and I am afraid that they will have the same reaction.

What do you guys tell people?! I am getting frustrated with being questioned and people thinking that its just a matter of will power and I am taking the "easy way out." [/quote']

Your going to get this reaction from some I kno i did my friend auntie and her jump all over me in Walmart and a unknown lady heard what we where talking about and put her two cent in it was crazy but I will be 1month on the 21st and that friend was more concern then jealous but she's coming around when ppl say things that doesn't encourage me I tell them to just pray from you don't have to say that but just be persistent that you've made the rt choice and you want them to support you but your mind is made up and that's what I kept saying and they left me

[ebonisekim 1,713]

Your going to get this reaction from some I kno i did my friend auntie and her jump all over me in Walmart and a unknown lady heard what we where talking about and put her two cent in it was crazy but I will be 1month on the 21st and that friend was more concern then jealous but she's coming around when ppl say things that doesn't encourage me I tell them to just pray from you don't have to say that but just be persistent that you've made the rt choice and you want them to support you but your mind is made up and that's what I kept saying and they left me

Alone you made a choice for you and once it happen they will come around it take ppl to get use to the idea and once you have it takes time for them to except it .. It will get better dont give all your energy into it we are all here for you

[petra1124 33]

thanks for the advice! that is crazy that someone would but into your conversation like that! I would b**ch someone out for sure lol!

[Sassygirl06 962]

I would just state that I understand that they do not understand the reasoning behind having surgery, and that is fine...however they can still be supportive of your decision and know that you have researched, and decided that it is the best choice for you.

[Kim Ster 111]

Well you are not doing it for anyone but yourself! So who cares what ppl say, there will always be haters and ppl that dont want you to succeed.

Some of what they are saying is true, you still have to exercise will power after the surgery. Diet and exercise are necessary for weight loss and maintainance...this is not an easy way out! You still have to do the work.

I just got a response the other day "I know someone that had a WLS and gained all the weight back" Like thats the case for everyone....dumb ass. But anyway, do what you need to do and dont worry about what ppl think or say. Its your life your decision. I am only 3.5 mo out and I am already seeing that Diet and Exercise will play an important role in the rest of my life, like I didnt even have the surgery. The surgery is just forced Portion Control. You still have to put the right food in your mouth.

Good Luck!

[jen1211 203]

I have an obese friend as well who thought I should just do weight watchers again. I just had to come out and tell her that she doesn't know what it's like for me and I am doing what I need to do. She has been overweight her whole life as well but never as big as I was. I have had to explain to a few people...no one knows what it was like for me, my sisters have been my weight but not my size and have also never carried their weight like me. Sometimes you just have to tell people that this is my plan and I really would like you to support me through this. I know it's hard but good luck!

[Sunshine121276 9]

I have learned over time you can't please everyone. My husband was extremely supportive and as far as I was concerned that is the only person whose opinion mattered to me. I think when we are fat a lot of us tend to be people pleasers. At the end of the day you are doing this for you. So tell them or don't tell them, it really shouldn't matter. I did not tell my father not because I was concerned about his reaction to me but because he is a worrier and has a heart condition and lives far away. I did not want him going through undue stress. He is visiting this summer and will see the weight loss and I will discuss it with him at that point so he can see for himself I am ok and have had no complication. You will have enough to deal with post surgery unsupportive people are not one of those things that should have you down. If they are not supportive then they just won't understand your struggle. Keep away while you take care of yourself.