And the fanfare fades...............

[Paul11011 372]

During the time I was in "active weight loss", the first 12 to 18 months or so, the frequent congratulations and " you look so good" comments were awesome. They were one of the things that kept me diligent and working to follow all the rules and stay on track. I don't mean to say that I was an attention hound, but the immediate feed back was a motivator and felt great.

In addition there were NSV victories coming left and right, the ability to climb stairs, fit in stadium seats, set in booths, etc were more instant gratification and motivation

Now most of the people I encounter don't know anything about me "before" or have already shared in my transformation. I have recently started a new career and those people all know me as the "after" version. When I talk about running or biking as a hobby, to them I'm just a normal guy. It is bitter sweet. On the one hand, they don't look at me with disbelief, they see a guy that is fully capable of running for sport and completing long distance bicycle rides. On the other that "Wow, you have come so far" sparkle in the eyes of long term friends is nowhere to be found if I were to be telling them of my new hobbies.

There still is the rare occasion when I encounter someone I have not seen since pre-surgery, and those times I get to re-live the initial joy I had from the congratulations and way-to-go's but its very seldom.

I can't say I'm surprised about the diminishing attention, it's the natural course of events. At some point in time we all fall away from being the latest, greatest show in town and become who we will be from here on out. I do have to admit I miss those days of new experiences and excitement. Am I alone in this period of having to adjust to the new normal? Should I be concerned that I'm going to morph into a Daffodil?

[kyllfalcon 768]

No, I don't think you're alone. I read where another poster felt she needed a new challenge now. I think her post was named something like "Now What?" I kinda feel the same, somewhat challenged for a new goal now, guess I need to "strive". Of course, maintaining is a goal unto itself, but it doesn't bring notice or accolades.

But I am rather glad to have the attention turned from my weight loss. Yes, I am proud of my achievement and a huge advocate of VSG,and appreciate that others celebrated my success with me, but there is so much more to me than just that. I'm glad to be talking and thinking about other things again.

Weight loss, food choices, being healthy are still very significant to me, but it's just become part of my daily life. I am back to focusing on my previous and new interests, and that makes me happy!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

people I encounter now don't know anything about me "before"

hi paul

i do understand what you are saying

you worked so hard during your weight loss period - people were complimenting you left and right

how great does that feel!!!!???

enjoying a little attention/?? thats totally understandable and great to hear these nice things, being a motivator to you

you weighed 302 lbs/???

oh, wait, wait

you LOST 302 lbs

that number is staggering

you should get an 'old' picture of yourself - tape it up to your mirror - and then just look at the new you!!!!

you've done............i can't think of a proper word that says how wonderful you did

Be so proud, happy, excited - not to mention enjoy all the good health you now have

302 times over - congrats

btw

no one really knew the "before" me - "stuff" sometimes "comes up" and i kindof "accidently" mention - oh by the way i just lost 103 lbs!!!!!

i get the great comments that i love to hear - maybe that would be a great moral booster for you too

health and happiness - knowing that you have both - plus so much more - i know that means so much to you

congrats guy

raising a glass of Water to your continued success in your new and wonderful life

[Escape_Pod 358]

Shortly after surgery I happened across a fabulous blog by a weight maintainer (major loss, maintained for years, no surgery). She likened weight loss and maintenance to skiing. The losing stage is like a downhill event - very exciting, cheering crowds on the sidelines, lots of fanfare and progress. But then, eventually, you coast to a gradual stop. The cheering crowds are gone, and you're on your own, and you have to strap on your cross-country skis and get down to the hard work - maintenance - which is a journey all its own, solitary, and never-ending. Ok, the post wasn't quite as grim as it maybe sounds, but I always liked the analogy. It's definitely an adjustment. No more exciting rewarding drops on the scale, no more constant trips to the outlet mall and the clearance rack for smaller sizes, just the everyday work of keeping it off. But the exciting thing is, you have a new life you can create for yourself, with new challenges and changes, without health or weight limitations.

But for today, I'm happy to act as your cheering section. WOOHOOO!!!! 302 POUNDS!?!! AWESOME!!!! YOU ROCK!!!!

[Supersweetums 1,164]

I was very private about my surgery and never really had a lot of fan fair. For me, I preferred it because it avoided the questions of how did I do it. But, to help keep me motivated, every once in a while I will pull out an old picture of me, a woman I barely even recognize anymore! I also kept 1 pair of pants that I had at my largest (the ones in my profile picture) and I will put them on. Feeling how large they are on me proves to me how much I have really accomplished and how far I have come in this journey. It is harder to keep yourself motivated, but keep things around you that remind you of your journey and what an amazing thing you have done. It needs to come from within just as much or more than from external sources. Congratulations!!

[CowgirlJane 14,260]

I have lost almost 150 pounds - there is no keeping that on the "down low" not matter what you do or say. I had someone who hadn't seen me in a year greet me by saying "Holy Sh*t Jane" and then apologize for the rather unorthadox greeting. I have people that I see pretty often still struggle with even recognizing me. I wonder how it will feel when the constant comments and celebration stops - i am guessing i will miss it.

On the other hand, I am really looking forward to the day when I no longer think of my self as perma-obese. What I mean by that is shedding not just the fat, but really accepting that being trim is my new normal.

One of the reasons i want to do plastics is to remove the worst of the reminders... there is a part of me that longs to move somewhere new and start over so that I am just the normal looking woman that I am now - not the formerly huge, who the heck is that strange woman kind of reaction I get all the time now.

[Piplula 709]

I am not at the point yet..I have lost 134# and trying to get to 200# down..but holy cow ..here's some praise for you ..302 pounds wow wow wow! That is freaking amazing!

[lsereno 2,525]

Congrats! You look great!

For me, I'm glad the fanfare has died down. I didn't enjoy being the center of attention. I found it vaguely brassiness when people didn't recognize me. Comments about how great I looked, how I must love shopping now, how my husband must love the "new, skinny" me all were a bit much for my taste.

Love the comment by Escape Pod. I'm learning to enjoy the wonders of cross-country skiing.

Lynda

Edit: I meant I found it vaguely embarrassing, not vaguely brassiness.

[Paul11011 372]

Thank you all for your comments and the congratulations, I have taken some words of wisdom from each of the comments. I love the skiing analogy!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I find myself missing the NSV'S and the attention. I didn't really like being the center of attention then. This is the new me and it has been quite an adjustment.

[leeann71 539]

I will say you look great! The attention you are probably getting now is probably the best. You can't tell me no one is not flirting with you :-) Just stay positive and I believe with a smile you will always get attention.

[Paul11011 372]

Lol, leeann71. That is so sweet of you to say.

You bring up something that I have realized and has been pointed out to me, if anyone is flirting with me, I don't often know it. That really is a serious statement. I have always been the nice, funny, big guy, just kind of who I became. I never expected to be flirted with and went out of my way to avoid being in situations were other guys were getting flirted with because I just saw it as a situation where I would feel left out. Strange the psyche one develop having lived their entire life morbidly obese.

It has happened more than once in the past 6 months where a person I was with has pointed out to me that women had been flirting with me and I simply didn't catch it. Uhhhgggg.....lol.

[coops 1,790]

Should I be concerned that I'm going to morph into a Daffodil?

I LOVE daffodils... they are simply beautiful, elegant and they just brighten up any room/view/garden!

Morph into that daff with pride and joy! Knowing that the bulb that was 302lbs heavier is now an amazingly beautiful flower!

Oh, and besides they are the national flower of Wales (UK) so what other flower would you want to morph into!!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I am morphing into a Lotus Flower! They are so beautiful and inspirational symbolizing growth in so many different ways..... Yep that's us, flowering and freeing ourselves....

[Paul11011 372]

The daffodil comment was from the mythological story about how the daffodil came to be.

"Narcissus was so handsome that many women and men fell in love with him. He rejected all of them. One of his admirers was the nymph Echo, who had been cursed by Hera* to repeat only the last words spoken to her. Ameinias, another admirer, was so devastated by Narcissus's indifference toward him that he killed himself. Before doing so, however, Ameinias called on the gods to punish Narcissus. They caused the beautiful youth to gaze into a pond at his reflection. He fell in love with his own image and drowned trying to touch it. In other accounts of the story, Narcissus killed himself out of sorrow and frustration. The gods then changed him into the flower that bears his name." AKA the daffodil

Read more: http://www.mythencyclopedia.com/Mi-Ni/Narcissus.html#b#ixzz2L80lsFjA