How to handle critics?

[sroan05 27]

I'm so tried of having to deal with people and their negative reaction to my decision to have the sleeve. I'm 269...5'6...but the first thing people say is "you don't need that surgery!" I feel like I have to justify my decision to everyone. They are always saying things like "all you need to do is diet and exercise," or "you're too young to make a drastic life changing decision like that." (I'm 26.) I try to let it roll off my back and let it go, but I can't help but to let their comments get to me. How did you handle negative feedback?

[PdxMan 4,292]

Don't give them anything to start with. What is the motivation to tell them what is a very personal decision? When people started asking if I was losing weight and how, I told them through Portion Control and exercise. Very true statements. If it was someone who seemed to know the journey of an obese person, I shared that I had VSG. "Normal" people don't understand the struggle. I wouldn't wish them to know the struggle. But I can't explain my deep-seated issues with my relationship with food to the level they can understand, so why even try.

For folks you have already told, and they are pesimestic, just tell them, "Thank you for your concern, I love you, too"

[VSG_me 184]

By walking around and looking/feeling fabulous after your surgery, that's how!!! LOL

All kidding aside, I know it's hard, everyone has their own opinions. I'm not hiding my surgery from anyone so I get the occasional question or comment. I've found that most people who are 'worried' for me know someone who knows someone who had complications yada yada yada - and you know what? Every person who fell under this category with complications were bypass or lap band patients from long ago. A LOT has changed in the weight loss field of surgery since then so I educate them that I have no problems and my procedure was MUCH different. That usually silences them and in some cases eases their minds.

Others think I had some crazy open stomach scary big bad surgery, so I tell them about my tiny incisions and how pain free I was/am. I also get the 'you weren't that big to start with' b/c I weighed 219 and I'm also young (KIND OF!) at 31. Well I just say "I was too big for me and big enough to be approved!" or "I didn't want to wait until I was older and bigger if I didn't have to!" haha

And for the 'all you need to do is diet/exercise' comments, I just say 'I've struggled for a long time, tried everything and finally found something that works'

Just keep it simple and to the point, don't let anyone bring you down! Keep your head high, and I promise you won't have any regrets if this is what you truly want. For me, it's been the BEST decision I EVER MADE! I'm two weeks out and I would go back and do it 10 times over.

[Bunnydee 40]

I got that all my life! I am 46, 47 on the 17th. I got the "o you are so pretty just get on a good diet" Well PEOPLE it's obvious that diets just don't do the work for me. I just let people talk at me and I listened respectfully..then I went home and ate a bag of popcorn or something.

[UTGal99 327]

Don't give them anything to start with. What is the motivation to tell them what is a very personal decision? When people started asking if I was losing weight and how, I told them through Portion Control and exercise. Very true statements. If it was someone who seemed to know the journey of an obese person, I shared that I had VSG. "Normal" people don't understand the struggle. I wouldn't wish them to know the struggle. But I can't explain my deep-seated issues with my relationship with food to the level they can understand, so why even try.

For folks you have already told, and they are pesimestic, just tell them, "Thank you for your concern, I love you, too"

I couldn't have said it better myself!

[Bunnydee 40]

cont....but now...wow I am so happy and Tiffany0925 is right, you just have this overwhelming feeling of sassyness...lol. I feel fabulous and I can't wait till you do too! Just let people say that they are gonna say, it doesn't mean they know what they are talking about.

[djsacco 32]

I only shared it with a few people. My mother didn't know until I was home! I didn't want to hear all the worry she would have. It is a personal decision and honestly no ones business!

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Don't give them anything to start with. What is the motivation to tell them what is a very personal decision? When people started asking if I was losing weight and how, I told them through Portion Control and exercise. Very true statements. If it was someone who seemed to know the journey of an obese person, I shared that I had VSG. "Normal" people don't understand the struggle. I wouldn't wish them to know the struggle. But I can't explain my deep-seated issues with my relationship with food to the level they can understand, so why even try.

For folks you have already told, and they are pesimestic, just tell them, "Thank you for your concern, I love you, too"

I agree! Whole heartedly.. But some claim you're a LIAR if you go this route (check out the "why lie" post) sheesh!

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Oops.. I mean Wholeheartedly

[PdxMan 4,292]

Yeah, I love that thread. It's like we are supposed to have some obligation to society about our lives. As I explained in another thread along this very topic, I:

• Didn't tell anyone I was having a vasectomy to help me control my family size
  
• Didn't tell anyone I had lasik surgery to help me control my eyesight
  
• Didn't tell anyone I had hemorrhoidectomy to help my ... well, ya know ...
  

Why do I have to tell them my life story? This is my life, gosh darn it!

[ISleevedIt 380]

I told my closest friend at work that I am having a "cyst" removed from my stomach. that's what I decided to call the extra part of my stomach that is being removed. I know co-workers are going to ask her when I'm out. Ok...bad me, but just trying to preserve my mental health

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

Yeah, I love that thread. It's like we are supposed to have some obligation to society about our lives. As I explained in another thread along this very topic, I:

• Didn't tell anyone I was having a vasectomy to help me control my family size
  
• Didn't tell anyone I had lasik surgery to help me control my eyesight
  
• Didn't tell anyone I had hemorrhoidectomy to help my ... well, ya know ...
  

Why do I have to tell them my life story? This is my life, gosh darn it!

That is too funny! I had a response on the other thread stating that I had a breast reduction and didn't tell and I had a prolapsed uterus repair from 3 10lbs babies and didn't share that with others either and etc .. But I deleted it thinking I didn't want to waste my time

[*Dean* 1,594]

I'm so tried of having to deal with people and their negative reaction to my decision to have the sleeve. I'm 269...5'6...but the first thing people say is "you don't need that surgery!" I feel like I have to justify my decision to everyone. They are always saying things like "all you need to do is diet and exercise," or "you're too young to make a drastic life changing decision like that." (I'm 26.) I try to let it roll off my back and let it go, but I can't help but to let their comments get to me. How did you handle negative feedback?

I think a bit of it is a twisted western culture compliment. Trying to say "you're not THAT bad". When in fact you probably are. Also people are massively adverse to change. So there will be some resistance there too.

I lost a large amount of weight 10 years ago. I'd lost about 110 pounds. I was still obese. I still had 60 pounds to lose. I can't tell you the number of people who said "You're not going to lose much more are you??"

Don't be offended. Don't take it on. It's about them, not about you. :)

[rmeofone 43]

I'm so tried of having to deal with people and their negative reaction to my decision to have the sleeve. I'm 269...5'6...but the first thing people say is "you don't need that surgery!" I feel like I have to justify my decision to everyone. They are always saying things like "all you need to do is diet and exercise," or "you're too young to make a drastic life changing decision like that." (I'm 26.) I try to let it roll off my back and let it go, but I can't help but to let their comments get to me. How did you handle negative feedback?

I b***h slapped them None of their business! You made the right decision for YOU!

[Geminidrive 389]

I'm so tried of having to deal with people and their negative reaction to my decision to have the sleeve. I'm 269...5'6...but the first thing people say is "you don't need that surgery!" I feel like I have to justify my decision to everyone. They are always saying things like "all you need to do is diet and exercise," or "you're too young to make a drastic life changing decision like that." (I'm 26.) I try to let it roll off my back and let it go, but I can't help but to let their comments get to me. How did you handle negative feedback?

I haven't had any negative feedback, however, I would respond short and sweet, it's my life and my decision end of discussion.