An honest question. Why are we here?

[PdxMan 4,292]

With all due respect, the last couple of replies that blame food as the sole reason all of us are overweight is simply not true. My wife is 5'7 and weighs 125lbs. She easily consumes more than 500 calories a day more than I do. There are many more aspects to weight than calories consumed. The amount of activity we partake in, genetics, medication and body type are all factors. Unfortunately, the war against weight isn't caused or remedied by one factor. Being able to share our specific stories enables us to learn from each other. While the fork represents a major battle, it does not represent the entire war.

Yup, just to echo what Aroundhky says, this is my story. It may not be yours or anybody else's ... or, it may be.

One of the things about getting sleeved is being forced to confront my relationship with food.

My wife, 135 or so pounds, ate about the same portions as myself pre-op. Or, so I thought. When I made the decision to have the sleeve, I started with the BodyBug and tracked everything. When I TRULY ate her sized portions, I was starving. Having an extra bite here and there went unnoticed by me, but not my waistline. Snacking between meals doesn't really count ... right? That is what I convinced myself of. I had my thyroid tested numerous times convincing myself there has GOT to be a reason for this. I had consultations with dieticians trying to find what would work for me. I excerised, ate nutritious foods ... what is the reason for having a BMI of 40?

All of the diets I tried worked for me. I lost 35 pounds on Slim Fast. 40 pounds on Atkins, the list goes on. When I worked a diet program, I lost weight. So, why couldn't I keep it off when I stopped the program?

For me, it comes down to portion sizes and snacking. This is why I got sleeved. Now, I eat about a quarter to a half of what my wife eats. What this tells me is even with the "normal" sized portions "normal" people eat, it is most likely still more than what the body needs. Their bodies most likely absorb what it needs and passes the rest. How else to explain how I can eat my amount yet she can eat 4x as much and not gain?

Bottom line, I ate more than what my body needed to survive. I wasn't feeding my body, but my taste buds and the desire to feel "full". Is that everybody's story? No, but it is mine. One thing I have noticed, though, is there is an awful lot of threads out there talking about the "full" feeling. I may not be the only one.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I also forgot ...

As I have shared on many thread here, I am also an alcoholic. In recovery as I will be the rest of my life. I work a program that helps me deal with life on life's terms.

Alcohol wasn't my problem ... I am my problem. Alcohol was my solution.

food wasn't so different. I still have difficulties in my life and while I didn't always turn to food, I abused it.

... and I could always find an excuse to get drunk and I could always find an excuse to abuse food. A 12 step program has helped me with one and the sleeve is helping me with the other.

[EweLewz 107]

I also wondered why people who don't drink anymore still consider themselves alcoholics.

If an obese person loses his/her weight, they don't refer to themselves as being obese.

My cousin, who is in AA said the difference between an alcoholic and a drunk is a drunk doesn't have to go to AA. Congrat's on your weight loss. You've done a hell of a job!

[aroundhky 1,174]

Thanks for your honesty PdxMan! It's not always easy to do.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I also wondered why people who don't drink anymore still consider themselves alcoholics.

If an obese person loses his/her weight, they don't refer to themselves as being obese.

My cousin, who is in AA said the difference between an alcoholic and a drunk is a drunk doesn't have to go to AA. Congrat's on your weight loss. You've done a hell of a job!

Thanks! It has been a heck of a journey.

Your cousin is absolutely correct. That is an old saying around there.

I can only speak for myself.

The reason I consider myself an alcoholic is that I can never be "cured". Years ago, I relapsed after having over 7 years sobriety. All it took was one drink and I was back and running. One drink. A "normal" person can have one drink without impunity. I can't. If I could, then no ... I would no longer be an alcoholic. But for me, that isn't true. The mental and bodily obsession takes over. I know this is true today, so I am still an alcoholic.

Don't mean to hijack your thread ... back to What got us here.

[PdxMan 4,292]

If an obese person loses his/her weight, they don't refer to themselves as being obese.

Had to comment on this sentence, though ...

The other night I am chatting with an acquaintance who is getting sleeved in March about VSG. He never knew me obese. He was asking about the reasons why I did it and as I iterated though, I said, "We're one of the only groups where it is socially acceptable to ridicule and discriminate against."

He was like, "You still identify yourself as being overweight?"

I had to laugh.

Unconscience or what, I don't know, but even though I have been at goal for a year and have a "normal" BMI, I still can identify.

[Jen35 283]

food is my drug. After seeing a counselor and realy analyzing why I eat, I have concluded that I am a food addict. Some people think this is a cop out or not a real thing. But for many, food works on the brain in the same way drugs do. And when you consistently drug yourself with food to cope with pain, anxiety, etc., it's an addiction. I wish I could go to food rehab! Instead, I see my thearpist weekly and I'm working toward getting the sleeve to help facilitate the changes I'm already making.

I also can't exercise like I used to because of RA and other health problems. I'm hoping that losing weight will improve those conditions and I can be more active again.

[MrsG 329]

The reason I consider myself an alcoholic is that I can never be "cured". Years ago' date=' I relapsed after having over 7 years sobriety. All it took was one drink and I was back and running. One drink. A "normal" person can have one drink without impunity. I can't. If I could, then no ... I would no longer be an alcoholic. But for me, that isn't true. The mental and bodily obsession takes over. I know this is true today, so I am still an alcoholic.

Don't mean to hijack your thread ... back to What got us here.[/quote']

Phxman this touched me and made me cry. Your drinking sounds like my old eating plan before sleeve. I would diet, do a great job and all it would take is one "special occasion" or get together and I would be right back to reckless eating, there goes the mental and body obsession. Those days are over and im loving my sleeve. I love how you say AA is your solution for your alcoholism and the sleeve forces you to confront your relationship with food. i completely agree! I'm so proud of you for seeking help on both! You are doing an amazing job. Some people never seek the help they need. I applaud you.

As for what got me to the point of surgery, I have to say I made bad choices. No one in my family is overweight. I used to tell my mother when I was little that I always thought I was adopted. I happen to have a syndrome called PCOS. Two of the side affects are easy weight gain and weight loss extremely difficult. I'm not trying to blame my poor eating/food choices on a medical condition or try to say i never ate that much but I do believe there is more than just overeating that contributes to people ending up obese. I never ate Breakfast prior to surgery. I would save all my eating for 4pm on and by then I was starving which led to my overeating. I've been sleeved since 1/15 and it was hands down the best decision I've ever made. I make better choices, I plan when I eat and I don't eat mindlessly. I also love my fitness pal as it keeps me on track because good or bad whatever I put in my mouth I document and it forces me to be accountable. I like that I hold myself accountable and I also like that I can eat, still lose weight and know that it's in my power to make the choice to keep it off. No more yo yo dieting and watching my body lose, gain, lose, gain or feeling hopeless.

[MrsG 329]

I love how you say AA is your solution for your alcoholism and the sleeve forces you to confront your relationship with food.

Sorry Pdxman I misquoted, you said alcohol was your solution, what i meant to put was AA forced you to confront your relationship with alcohol and the sleeve your relationship with food. I like that.

[PdxMan 4,292]

Yup, just like I had to stop the insanity of what happened after that first drink, I had to take responsibility for my relationship with food. The sleeve and this forum helps me do just that. Keeps me accountable. Just like in my 12 step program, all I can do is share my experience, strength and hope. The first step was to admit that I had a problem and the 12 step is to carry this message to others who still suffer.

It is my story. For the person who is reading this sentence right now, it may or may not be yours, too. Only you can decide. I just knew that once I stopped looking for reasons (excuses) why I was morbidly obese and moved into the phase of taking action that my life actually started to change.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I love how you say AA is your solution for your alcoholism and the sleeve forces you to confront your relationship with food.

Sorry Pdxman I misquoted, you said alcohol was your solution, what i meant to put was AA forced you to confront your relationship with alcohol and the sleeve your relationship with food. I like that.

A 12 step program has taught me how to live life on life's terms. How to confront my issues instead of drowning them with alcohol. A lot of people think this program is about alcohol, but nothing could be further from the truth. People use substances of all sorts to keep from having to live life head on. Alcohol, drugs, gambling, food ... fill in the blank. I didn't want to feel what I was feeling, so I drank. Food comforted me, too. Some people shop. When you become powerless and there are real life consequences to your actions is when you drop to your knees and say, "Dear god, (fill in deity) I can't do this anymore." Only then was I willing to confront my demons and become teachable.

You don't have to believe in this or any program, but just be willing to believe there is a solution. Whatever you use to cope, there is another way.

[hadouni 301]

Interesting.

As a child, I was a food sneaker - mostly after school, before dinner. My mom kept treats in the freezer for my lunch and I can remember eating a couple and rearranging the box so it looked like none had been taken. I also remember standing in the freezer door eating ice cream out of the container (back when oreo Cookies and cream first came out). My parents should have called me on that because they had to have known. Both were overweight... not that my weight problem is my parents' fault, but I didn't get a good foundation from them.

As an adult, I'm a sugar/bad carb junkie and I use food to deal with anxiety/emotion. I've never been much of a Protein eater so I tended to fill up on bad carbs because they are so easy to get, take almost no preparation, and taste good. I refer to myself as a junkie because I have recognized myself starting to physically relax after making the decision to get some food I'd been thinking about while stressed or upset. Anyone else drive home from work and pick up a cake on the way?

Post sleeve, I'm still a sugar junkie and have to be careful. Fortunately, I can only eat a few bites of sweets or bad carbs at a time and I know I should just avoid them entirely. I at least make sure to get my protein & healthy food in before I eat any of that junk. I also log my food carefully using my fitness pal so I have to see every week what I've consumed.

Fortunately, my son isn't a big starch eater. He does like sweets, but has a good internal "I'm full" mechanism so he eats a little and is done.

[EweLewz 107]

10lbs down, surgery in 4 days. IV heart test appointment on Wed (2/20).

***Interesting Read***

Upon completing my pre-op physical, my family doctor advised me to not lose any more weight, but to hover @ 10lbs lost. He told me of an incident where one of his other pre-op patients lost 19 lbs prior to surgery and his insurance company pulled his authorization for the sleeve procedure! I have no reason to doubt my doctor, but that seems ridiculous!

[LindaS 316]

A desk job and an outrageous schedule led to my weight gain more so than a love of food. I say this because I would frequently go a day or more without really eating because I would be too busy to eat. When I did eat, I would eat the wrong things and at the wrong times.

My job hasn't changed. I still spend hours at a computer, but I've changed how I do my job. I converted my desk to a standing desk, so I can stand while working instead of sitting. I've also looked into treadmill desks. I feel the standing desk works better for me.

I am standing in front of my desk in the profile picture, and I blogged about it when I created it:: http://www.lindasherwood.com/2012/12/06/dream-it-and-it-happens/

[PdxMan 4,292]

Wow, I think I would have changed careers and jobs instead of having 85% of my stomach removed. I mean, if my issue wasn't food, then I wouldn't want to have a permanent alteration to my body.

Of course, as long as it is working for you, that is all that matters.