An honest question. Why are we here?

[Lissa 2,631]

Webchickadee and MeasureofMe both listed most of my reasons for getting so big that my best solution was removal of 85% of my stomach. The rest of my story is an abusive childhood...the kind that made me think "Mommy Dearest" wasn't so bad. I ate because it was the only thing I could control and I never learned how to rein in my eating. As I got bigger, I used food more and more often to comfort myself rather than doing something constructive. Now, after my sleeve and over a year of pretty intense therapy, I use food as fuel (mostly). I do sometimes find myself eating something that really isn't great for me (Cheetos), and I will put that food on my restricted list. I literally will only allow myself to buy a single serving bag of Cheetos once a month and then I sit and savor them like they were Godiva chocolates. My boyfriend knows to leave me alone with my Cheetos when he sees the bag come out! LOL He says he's jealous of them!

[LovinCheryl 22]

Wow, I think I would have changed careers and jobs instead of having 85% of my stomach removed. I mean, if my issue wasn't food, then I wouldn't want to have a permanent alteration to my body.

Of course, as long as it is working for you, that is all that matters.

Let me know the secret of supporting your family, paying bills and trying to be in better health while changing careers. It just hasn't been so easy for me to do these days.

I apply, doesn't mean they are going to hire me. What do I do in the mean time?

[EweLewz 107]

LovinCheryl, you brought up an excellent point. I have been in the computer industry since 1983. As much as I would love to throw out my college degree and thirty years of experience, I can't. There are many jobs that keep you physically fit, but it's too late for me to change occupations. Not a lot of companies looking for overweight 50 year old people looking to re-train themselves in a new career. Even if I was lucky enough to find such a job, the compensation would leave me homeless. That's not an excuse, it's a fact.

[LovinCheryl 22]

LovinCheryl, you brought up an excellent point. I have been in the computer industry since 1983. As much as I would love to throw out my college degree and thirty years of experience, I can't. There are many jobs that keep you physically fit, but it's too late for me to change occupations. Not a lot of companies looking for overweight 50 year old people looking to re-train themselves in a new career. Even if I was lucky enough to find such a job, the compensation would leave me homeless. That's not an excuse, it's a fact.

I know too well what you mean. Good luck with the preop diet. I am on one as well.

[PdxMan 4,292]

Let me know the secret of supporting your family, paying bills and trying to be in better health while changing careers. It just hasn't been so easy for me to do these days.

I apply, doesn't mean they are going to hire me. What do I do in the mean time?

Riddle me this ...

You know this person who has this job working at a manufacturing company. Been there for years. But, part of their job is to work a material that is slowly killing them. Bit by bit, day by day. This is a great, rewarding career for which it would be difficult for them to change. They know this is the cause of major health issues and will continue to cause health issues for them until l they die from some related issue. You tell them time and again, "How can you continue to work here when you know this is the root cause of problems?" They respond, "How else am I going to pay the bills and support my family?"

[PdxMan 4,292]

If you read all of my posts on this thread, the point I am trying to get across is that we can blame a multitude of reasons as to how/why we got to be obese, but the bottom line for me is it boils down to my relationship with food. Period.

I, too, work in the IT world since the 80's. Currently, I work with 12 other IT professionals. Out of that group, only one of them is what I would define as obese. They all fit my mold exactly ... kids, homes, demanding job ... what then, could be different between myself and them? I can't blame my job or job stress for my obesity. Look around at your work place. Is everybody else who does a similar job just as obese as yourself? No, I don't know their family life, but I am sure some have it better than me and others have it worse. So, how do we find the recipe of obesity all the while excluding the fact, that for me, it was me abusing food. I can understand that most people don't want to face this as a possibility. And, to be honest, I don't think I could admit this fully until after I was sleeved and I learned just how much I did abuse food when I didn't have the ability to abuse it like I did.

I worry that I am coming across here like I am preaching, which is the last thing I want to do, so please, re-read my post as if it were coming from someone who has gone through the fire-fight. I have taken the bullets. I know what it is like to be ridiculed and discriminated against because of my obesity. I just want to stop making excuses for it. Own it for what it is. Only then can I move forward with a solution.

[LovinCheryl 22]

If you read all of my posts on this thread, the point I am trying to get across is that we can blame a multitude of reasons as to how/why we got to be obese, but the bottom line for me is it boils down to my relationship with food. Period.

I, too, work in the IT world since the 80's. Currently, I work with 12 other IT professionals. Out of that group, only one of them is what I would define as obese. They all fit my mold exactly ... kids, homes, demanding job ... what then, could be different between myself and them? I can't blame my job or job stress for my obesity. Look around at your work place. Is everybody else who does a similar job just as obese as yourself? No, I don't know their family life, but I am sure some have it better than me and others have it worse. So, how do we find the recipe of obesity all the while excluding the fact, that for me, it was me abusing food. I can understand that most people don't want to face this as a possibility. And, to be honest, I don't think I could admit this fully until after I was sleeved and I learned just how much I did abuse food when I didn't have the ability to abuse it like I did.

I worry that I am coming across here like I am preaching, which is the last thing I want to do, so please, re-read my post as if it were coming from someone who has gone through the fire-fight. I have taken the bullets. I know what it is like to be ridiculed and discriminated against because of my obesity. I just want to stop making excuses for it. Own it for what it is. Only then can I move forward with a solution.

I have re-read your post plenty of times. That is why I responded. Answering a question with a question or riddle does not get us any closer to understanding each other, so I will pass on an answer. Everyone's story or reason they got this way is different and although we can draw some similarities, an answer or solutions for one may not work for everyone else. Quitting a job from your "riddle" may work for you. It may cause mental issues from someone else. We all know making healthy decisions is not the cheapest route, so being without money and homelessness may not be any better than staying at the job. There is no right or wrong answer. Decisions are being made for the better. It's about what is being done now. I encourage everyone to let people have their journey for their self fulfillment, and not belittle someone else's journey because it may be different from yours.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I have re-read your post plenty of times. That is why I responded. Answering a question with a question or riddle does not get us any closer to understanding each other, so I will pass on an answer. Everyone's story or reason they got this way is different and although we can draw some similarities, an answer or solutions for one may not work for everyone else. Quitting a job from your "riddle" may work for you. It may cause mental issues from someone else. We all know making healthy decisions is not the cheapest route, so being without money and homelessness may not be any better than staying at the job. There is no right or wrong answer. Decisions are being made for the better. It's about what is being done now. I encourage everyone to let people have their journey for their self fulfillment, and not belittle someone else's journey because it may be different from yours.

I hear everything you are saying ... you are completely missing my point.

I wish you the best.

[LovinCheryl 22]

I hear everything you are saying ... you are completely missing my point.

I wish you the best.

Congratulations on your success as well!

[AussieLady 521]

I hear everything you are saying ... you are completely missing my point.

I wish you the best.

It was a really nice try though!! I loved your posts and the point was a great one.

[EweLewz 107]

Personally, I feel if we all agreed with each other, this board would be unnecessary. I admit that I resent posts that state the sole reason for obesity is a love affair with food, but those who feel that way are certainly entitled. PdxMan brought up a few points that I appreciated because I hadn't thought about looking at my peers. I thought his question that asked "what do your peers look" like incite-full, as I did think of that angle. Although his question strengthened my position (I work in a dept of 3, where only 1 of us is fit), I look forward to reading everyone's views. After all, isn't that the reason we are all reading this?

[EweLewz 107]

Surgery in two days. Launching my 48 hour, all liquid diet right now. Already looking past the surgery to a happier, healthier life. It helps the anxiety.

[EweLewz 107]

I am now 4 days post-op. How time flies. It seems to get easier (less discomfort) each day. The monotony of allowable foods isn't pleasant, but I'm staying on course.

I am going to step up walking, as it seems to help rid the body of trapped air. Moving over to the Post-op forums. Thanks to everyone for their input and support!

[MrsG 329]

I am now 4 days post-op. How time flies. It seems to get easier (less discomfort) each day. The monotony of allowable foods isn't pleasant' date=' but I'm staying on course.

I am going to step up walking, as it seems to help rid the body of trapped air. Moving over to the Post-op forums. Thanks to everyone for their input and support![/quote']

Welcome to the other side! Lol! Sounds like you are doing great! Walking helped me a lot, gets that air movin! Congratulations!

[PdxMan 4,292]

I am now 4 days post-op. How time flies. It seems to get easier (less discomfort) each day. The monotony of allowable foods isn't pleasant, but I'm staying on course.

I am going to step up walking, as it seems to help rid the body of trapped air. Moving over to the Post-op forums. Thanks to everyone for their input and support!

Yes, welcome to the other side. Even if you don't want to, get up and walk. Sip, sip, sip ... walk, walk, walk.

That's the only job you have today.

Congrats!