DEALING WITH ATTENTION

[amys 41]

How does everyone deal with the attention you get from the opposite sex? Especially those who are married/in a relationship? Does that question make sense? Please no judgement, just wondering, my mind is racing with all the what ifs

[JuliannaJ 83]

Same way you dealt with it before. For me if married and in a relationship it is hands off. Besides I am and continue to be the same person so if you are now just going to pay attention to me because I lost some weight, then forget you...you should have gotten to know me before.

[annabelle 76]

Same way you dealt with it before. For me if married and in a relationship it is hands off. Besides I am and continue to be the same person so if you are now just going to pay attention to me because I lost some weight, then forget you...you should have gotten to know me before.

Well said Ive always said what you see is what you get and if you don't like it keep moving, We may be loosing weight but we are still the same person x

[Huntingnurse 510]

I have no clue - never happens :-/

[Supersweetums 1,164]

OK, in all honesty, I do like the attention. It's not a lot, but when it happens, I take it in. Most of the time, I really don't even think people are even looking, although I have been told it happens frequently. I might flirt back, but that is the extent of it. I have been married for almost 10 years and with my husband for 14 years. He has been with me through it all, and we got engaged and married when I was my heaviest. I admit that sometimes I have fantasies, but that is where they stay. I love my husband and we get along amazingly. I would not trade that for someone that doesn't know me and I don't know them. Enjoy it, take it in, realize that you are beautiful and sexy, but leave the rest behind you.

That being said, if someone is in a destructive relationship and only staying because they do not feel they can do better, that the other person degrades them to the point of feeling worthless and trapped, and they have no self-esteem, one might have to re-examine. Losing weight makes one feel better about oneself, helps build confidence, etc. It might be what some need to leave a bad relationship...I have seen it on here. But make sure it is for the right reasons and not because you go with the moment or think the grass might be greener on the other side.

[Supersweetums 1,164]

I have no clue - never happens :-/

It will!

[Delena2/11 59]

Don't believe you Actingnurse. You're quite dishy;).

I have wondered about this myself and have come to the conclusion that one of the things that worked for me about being overweight was that I did not have to deal as much with men approaching me. I didn't have the added stress. My husband is easy to be around because he puts NO pressure on me at all. He doesn't seem to care if I am heavy or not. He is very introverted and although our relationship is easy it is also not very supportive. He would never say anything negative about my weight but he isn't saying anything positive either. It just is not him and I accept that but I do know that losing weight is going to change things for me a lot. I know I will be nervous if men are interested in me but is also something that secretly I miss. Feeling desired and feminine. That is why I worry. I love my husband but he is like a room mate with benefits. Nice benefits that come when two people are comfortable with each other. I know that this surgery is going to be an added pressure to our relationship. It may be positive but it could be negative too. Once I am feeling better about myself I would be lying if I said that I would not appreciate some male attention. I hope it comes from him but if it doesn't..... I don't know what I will do. I guess time will tell.

[Huntingnurse 510]

Don't believe you Actingnurse. You're quite dishy;).

Thank you but I tell no lies... unfortunately. Maybe in 80lbs... lol but this isn't my thread so I'm not trying to hijack it, but thank you.

[Huntingnurse 510]

and Amy - you're gorgeous.. it's going to happen... Just think about if that's something you want involved in your life.

[amys 41]

Don't believe you Actingnurse. You're quite dishy;).

I have wondered about this myself and have come to the conclusion that one of the things that worked for me about being overweight was that I did not have to deal as much with men approaching me. I didn't have the added stress. My husband is easy to be around because he puts NO pressure on me at all. He doesn't seem to care if I am heavy or not. He is very introverted and although our relationship is easy it is also not very supportive. He would never say anything negative about my weight but he isn't saying anything positive either. It just is not him and I accept that but I do know that losing weight is going to change things for me a lot. I know I will be nervous if men are interested in me but is also something that secretly I miss. Feeling desired and feminine. That is why I worry. I love my husband but he is like a room mate with benefits. Nice benefits that come when two people are comfortable with each other. I know that this surgery is going to be an added pressure to our relationship. It may be positive but it could be negative too. Once I am feeling better about myself I would be lying if I said that I would not appreciate some male attention. I hope it comes from him but if it doesn't..... I don't know what I will do. I guess time will tell.

Are you in my head? That's almost exactly me!! You explained it so well. Part of me is scared because I do like attention, but I feel bad even saying that

[amys 41]

and Amy - you're gorgeous.. it's going to happen... Just think about if that's something you want involved in your life.

Awww thanks:) maybe I think too much about what ifs..and btw I find it hard to believe ur don't get attention

[Fallenangel2904 494]

It's starting to happen more and more for me. I'm single, but it's still kind of weird and some times it throws me off and I don't know how to act. I did get hit on before even at my biggest, but it's getting more frequent now and from men that I would actually have interest in and honestly my mind is still kind of learning how to deal with it. I've never been really good at flirting or telling if someone is interested in me or just being nice lol so it's a learning experience. But I will say there are days where it's much appreciated and a nice boost to the ego. Even if your not single receiving attention or a compliment always adds a boost of self confidence for the day which can never hurt

[Delena2/11 59]

Hey Amy,

I guess great minds think a like! I think it is wise to at least give this some thought. Are you in a situation similar to mine? In a relationship and you are not sure how this journey is going to affect it? You are not alone if so.

Acting Nurse, You most likely don't notice woman looking. My husband is totally oblivious to it. Unless a women throws herself on him literally he would have no idea.

[OneWritersSoul 353]

I enjoy the attention, but it's no substitute for the real thing. It broke my heart that my husband couldn't handle the ways the surgery changed me in a very short amount of time. At my core I was still the same but because I'd changed so much on the outside, it was too much for him. So, if there's ever another that is genuinely interested in me, he's going to have to have known me as a fat girl or met me on here. ????

[Delena2/11 59]

Writer, I'm very sorry that your husband could not see that you were the same person. It is too bad that at such an exciting time in your life your partner could not Celebrate with you. Best wishes for a bright future with that perfect person. Dee