Got my surgery Date - December bandster

[beversman 0]

i understand completely, i just figured if he is going to tell everyone... he will probably do it in a month too (ya know?)

If he would be that insenstive to spread it around, he will probably do it whenever to you tell him... now, then...

If people find out now at least you will have it out of the way by surgery time.

Good luck with whatever you choose. I am sure it will work out for the best, and congratulations with your surgery (and new beginning!)

[Ariel 1]

Ok so i told my dad when he came home from work. At first he was very upset and said you are not getting that. He went on and on about how dangerous it is and how my mom would never go for it. Well when i told him that my mom thinks it is a great idea, and so does my doctor, the surgon, the psychologist, and the nutristionist (sp?) he started to come around. I gave him the lap band booklet and some time to read it over. Then he started asking me question about college. Do i think i would fit in better etc.. Evetually he decided that it was an ok decison. He said yeah your life will be so much better and that the world never gives fat people a chance. He was actually happy that i told him now instead of the day before surgery. So now i am so relieved, and he also promised that he would not say anything to anyone. Thank you all sooooo much for your support and letting me come on here with all my worries.

[beversman 0]

good for you!! im glad you went ahead and told him. I am also excited for you that he is being supportive. He may really suprise you and actually be your biggest cheering section. It is the people that you least expect who sometimes are the most helpful.

In my case, it was the people I DID expect to be supportive that are being the least so...

The worlds messed up :-)

BUT I am very happy for you. I am glad it worked out!!

We are only a few days apart on the surgery... so let me know how things are going.

[StephC 0]

Its hard when you have to decide to tell a loved one or not tell. I have chosen to NOT tell my mother in law. Only because her step son had it done and they were so disappointed that he can't eat like he used to. He always loved food (this is my father in law talking) and now he can't eat but a little bitty bite without having to throw it up. And its not even fun to cook for him anymore (my mother in law speaking) he used to love potato salad and fried chicken blah blah blah - needless to say they didn't think about his being obese would shorten his life and then they wouldn't ever have to cook for him again! So since they are 1000 miles away I have decided on keeping it quiet - there's no point in even trying to tell them that Larry just had the surgery and he will be getting different eating habits. They are both close to 80 too - but my mom who is 78 is all for me having the surgery. She just doesn't like me being fat, thank goodness my immediate family - hubby and kids - are all for me having it done.

Kari, I agree lets keep this thread going and be here for each other. I was noticing that you are just having some of your testing and consults now. I had all of those during my 6 months with the pcp obesity consults. She didn't order them, my surgeon did, but that was when I had sleep tests, psych eval, stress test, sono of my liver, exercise, and nutrionist, and probably 20 others that I'm forgetting. Did you insurance demand a 6 month consult? Just wondering - amazing how every doc and insurs is different.

[sweethot143 2]

Aerial, good for you for telling your Dad, it's so nice that it turned out in your best intrest. Now you can go into surgery with no hard feeling between the two of you.

[Charlif761 0]

They all think it is a bad time for me to do this, but I know its right.

When is the "right" time? I don't think there is such a thing. For me waiting for the "right" time is just putting it off.quote]

AMEN SISTER!!!!! When they said it was a bad time, you should quote a few statistics about how the life expectancy of an obese person is affected, and then remind them it isn't so convenient to die either. EVER. lol YAY FOR YOU! I have to admit, I had my round of dietician, psychologist and Doctor yesterday. I will now get a yes or no from my insurance company within 6 weeks and a date (hopefully.) That puts the news around Xmas (the second best gift besides an ACTUAL band!) I have already started thinking it will be my last Xmas I can gorge on turkey! lol But, if I got a date for December 24th, I would happily give it all up! Think of your band as not only a gift to yourself, but a gift to all the people who love you.... You will be around a lot longer as a healthy weight person...adn a lot happier too!

Great big hugs, and don't worry about your family. When they see you all trimmed down next Christmas, they will also be pleased with your gift!

Char

[beversman 0]

Char,

Thanks girl :-) and good luck with your insurance

I am a self pay. So, I know how big of a help (or hurt) insurance can be.

Yeah, that was one of the first thing that I thought... "wow, no stuffing and turkey this year!" :hungry:

THEN i thought "WOW, no wonder I need this band!!" :peep: ha

[StephC 0]

Ariel - I'm glad you told your dad. I'm sure he wants what ever is best for you. And I'm sure you'll have so much more confidence and self assurance when you go to college. Did you say when your surgery is? I can't wait - I didn't realize Thanksgiving is next week and then ... zoom.. the time will fly for me .. December is always a blurrr anyway. Yippee we're getting banded in December! We will have to come back next year at this time and do our before and after pics!

[beversman 0]

We can wear santa hats and strategically placed bows!! haha

[Ariel 1]

Ariel - I'm glad you told your dad. I'm sure he wants what ever is best for you. And I'm sure you'll have so much more confidence and self assurance when you go to college. Did you say when your surgery is? I can't wait - I didn't realize Thanksgiving is next week and then ... zoom.. the time will fly for me .. December is always a blurrr anyway. Yippee we're getting banded in December! We will have to come back next year at this time and do our before and after pics!

It was def. the right decision. My surgery is dec. 27th!!! A nice christmas gift to my self! Hopefully the time will zoom by. I am actually in college now, my dad was asking if i would fit in better if i were thin. Because now i really don't and i believe most of that is due to my insecurity and other people's unwillingness to give me a chance. But hopefully as i lose weight i will build up my self esteem. The end of Nov. and Dec. are always crazy with papers and finals so hopefully that will make the time fly until band day! I am sooo excited for all of us! This time next year we will look and feel amazing!

[beversman 0]

My family just came down on me yet again. They were screaming at me..

"why cant you just lose weight like normal people!"

"You've lost 40 pounds before then you stop"

"There is no reason for you to have surgery"

"I think your rushing into something you really don't want to do"

"think about all the food you won't be able to eat"

(sigh) i am so defeated right now. I feel so alone making this decision. I feel like I have to do it all myself with no help. No one is saying, "great idea... i know you can do it"

That are saying, "what happens when this doesnt work either"

Why do they want me to fail? I try to be honest with them and they dont listen to a single thing I say. I give them all the answers, and it is like they dont hear a word.

[sweethot143 2]

beversman, i guess they aren't listening for the answers. I don't think there is much you can do but keep your spirits up, believe in yourself and go for it and prove them all wrong.

[Ariel 1]

beversman i now how heartbreaking it can be when your family does not support you. Maybe you could tell them how hard it is to live as an overwieght women. keep showing them data backing up the surgery. And sweethot is right prove em wrong!

[sonoslim 0]

I'm Dec. 7th...not too long now!!!

[angyl2314 1]

I got my date too, January 3rd. I am excited. I was scared to tell my mom about my consultation, but I spoke to the rest of the family beforehand. When I finally told my mom she already had an idea. She was upset, but we talked and I assured her it was safe and that I had researched the procedure. She is now really supportive of me and my decision, although she has reminded me that she is not thrilled with the surgery, but I am an adult and she stands behind anything I do. My brother does not agree with it. I think because he is heavy also and if I do this and am successful, the spotlight will be on him again.

Beavers...I don't think your family wants you to fail, they are probably just scared and concerned. Have you invited them to any of the pre-op support groups or forwarded them any literature? You are an adult and capable to make decisions on your own that will enhance your happiness. No family member will ever be overly thrilled that someone they care about is undergoing elective surgery, but once they FINALLY realize that this is something that will truly make you happy, they should fall in line. Do you have a primary support person going through all of this with you, like another family member or a friend?