Some advice, please?!?!

Stephanee · November 12, 2006

:help: Hi! My name is Stephanee and I am a 27 year old mother of 5 kiddos...3 birth children and 2 foster children, ranging from the ages of 3 all the way up to 16. My co-worker told me about the Lap Band about 2 months ago but I was still in denial then. On Friday, I went to see a plastic surgeon about recieving a much needed Tummy Tuck due to 3 c-sections and major weight gain. I informed him that we go to the gym 3 times a week and we eat healthy. I explained that I didnt want to have the procedure done until I lose some weight. Without him weighing me, he assummed I was accurate on my weight and proceeded to tell me he "didnt know why I thought I was healthy because 240 pounds and 5'5" is NOT healthy". And he went on to repeat the same sentence 2 more times within a 3 minute time frame. I was devasted. I knew I was overweight, but he was being really harsh. I looked at him and told him, "With you being a Doctor, is that all you can contribute to this conversation?" His reply was, "Yes, I guess so." I then told him that I didnt think this was going to work. He agreed with me and got up and left the room...leaving me there in tears and in an XL robe that fit me perfectly. I didnt take an opportunity to tell him that I had recently been tested for diabetes, thyroid issues and even had a CAT scan to make sure I didnt have any tumors. And those tests came back normal. I didnt take an opportunity to tell him that my mother died from complications from obesity. And I didnt take the opportunity to tell him that I was currently wearing a size 16, so I couldnt be as hopeless as he made me feel.

As soon as I made my way out to my Jeep, I told my waiting boyfriend that it was over...no more feeling horrible about myself. We went to our gym to speak to a personal trainer. We decided I was going to hire a personal trainer to help lose the weight. But I still felt like I needed something more. I have tried many different diets and have been obese for the past 5 years. I work out reguarly, I am a volunteer baseball coach and the PTA President, so I am always on the go. But no matter how hard or long I try, I get no where.

And then, last night, I remembered about the Lap Band. I stayed up until 12:30 in the AM doing research. Before, I was terrified at the prospect of surgery, as my mother passed away when I was only 6. But the more I read, the more comfortable I felt about such a major change. What I need to know is, are there anyone else in my shoes who was able to be approved for the Lap Band? I am 5'5", 230 pounds, with a BMI of 38.3 and I have UHC as my insurance company.

Any help you can offer, I would really appreciate it. I am soooo tired of giving 100% to other people and 0% for myself. Thanks!!!

KariK · November 12, 2006

Aww Stefanee, that PS sounds like a real D*CK head! lol. I had a similar situation with me pcp, who is a skinny scrawny woman, she dashed my hopes of being a normal wieght! I broke down one day and told her how unhappy I was about being over 200 lbs and only 5'2", she told me that she would prescribe some diet pills but not to expect to ever weigh less than 170. At 5'2, that is still obese. She just had so little faith in me. And she went on to say that I am healthy other than my wieght and she really didn't even want to give me diet pills, I should just try to eat better and exercise more, or accept myself the way I am. Its crazy how doctors can have such differant perspectives. The diet pills didn't do a thing for me. Finally about 3 years later after having my second child, I decided to get the lapband after doing a lot of research on my own. I didn't even discuss it with my pcp. I flew to TX and had the doctor I chose after much investigation and research put it in for me. He asked me what my goal was (in my head I was thinking 170 was the best I could do) I told him 150, he said that he felt my bone structure was small, and that 130 was a very reasonable goal for me!! It was one of the most profound statements he could have made to me.

Anyways my point is, you could go to many differant doctors and they will all have a differant oppinion in regards to weight and health. At the end of the day you've gotta just take charge for yourself and pick a doc that you feel has the best grasp on whats best for YOU.

Stephanee · November 12, 2006

Karik, thank you soooo much! I am def a woman of action and believe in getting results...which is why I shake my head and wonder how I even got to this size in the first place. I appreciate your supporting words and I am glad for you that you was able to take a stand and make some positive changes, even without the support from that doctor. I guess not all doctors have great bedside manners, huh?!

djmath · November 12, 2006

Stephanee...

I read your message and the last line really promted me to return a message to you....I am a 46 year old woman that has fought with my weight all my life...and try so many things...but it was always everyone else needs first...the mother of 3 and wife for 27 years the family always comes first, which is the way it should be....to a point...you are young yet..and it is really so encouraging to me that you are taking hold of health matters ( your weight) now..while you are still young....at 40 I was dignosised with high blood pressure..and now 6 years later with kids getting married and grandchildren right around the corner..I finally realize it is time..my me ..to take hold and take care of me now....so I thought about some type of procedure for a few years now..and when the lap band came into question I did alittle research..and thought it was the safest ...I never did consider a total bypass...it is just too intense...

I wish you the best of luck....I wonder do you have any other health factors that will help it get through insurance...that may help with insurance....I had the high bloodpressure..plus I had a doctor that was so supportive...I did ask my dr two years ago about gastic bypass and my doctor at that time said you are not heavy enough...so when I did my research about the band..and finally got the courage to ask my doctor I have now..she was so supportive she told me....telll me what I can do to get this done for you ....tell me how I can help....I suggest you find another dr and support...as you said in your message...now is time to give to your self!!!...you deserve to do this..and to be healthy in the years to come for your kids..and family......

good luck and keep us posted please..

Jenny

Stephanee · November 12, 2006

Thanks Jenny! Through all three pregnancies and even this weight gain, I always maintained great blood pressure...not once was it ever high. However, when I went to the gym to speak to a personal trainer, they did an assessment. She informed me that my blood pressure was considered high. I have recently (within the past 4 months) started getting Migraines and panic attacks...something I have NEVER had before (and you are talking to someone who took care of 3 children all by herself AND worked fulltime!). But other than that, no other health problems. Both of my parents were diabetic (only my mother was obese) and both had one form of cancer or another. I dont want to ever be in that boat, you know?

I am calling my doctor tomorrow to schedule a checkup with him. I have always found him to be supportive but I wonder why he has never approached the subject about my weight.

Living in denial is NOT fun especially when the reality sets in.:faint:

Parvathi · November 12, 2006

Hi Stephanee,

Welcome to LBT!

The PS you saw sounds like a complete jerk - sorry you've had to encounter this!

I can't imagine having 5 kids at your age. Heck, I'm one year older and my one child is enough for me. You must be a very strong woman. That being said, I'm sure you'll work out the right thing to do!

I can't really offer much advice, but I can tell you that being banded is the best thing I've ever done for my health. It's given me the energy to play with my daughter again and let me take charge of my life.

Good luck in your decision making. And if you need to talk, we're all here!

need2bhealthy · November 13, 2006

Wow! I can't believe that experience in the plastic surgeons office, what a jerk! I feel for you.

Let me know if you hear of anything, I am BMI 37.5 and 32 years old. No other complications. I too have UHC. I would like to get banded and lose weight before the complications start! The older I get the worse it becomes...let me know what you find out and good luck!

djmath · November 13, 2006

Stephanee...

I too began having migranes..which was really scarey..that was when they decovered my high bloodpressure....

why your dr has never approuched the issue with you?..I think maybe doctors don;t want to offend their patients now days..I am not sure..mine never brought it up to me either..but when I asked she was so supportive....pls keep us posted what yours says..I am so glad you are going to set a appointment up tomarrow...GOOD for you!!!

Jenny...

lisalee · November 13, 2006

Stehanee,

I had surgery done in Houston by Dr. Spivak. He said something profound in his seminar....only about 2% of people that go on diets manage to lose the weight and keep it off. THIS IS A DISEASE! My doctor actually works in the same place as Karik's. He is so supportive and sees no other way for weight loss to truly work at this time in medicine. Sounds like your PS needs a refresher on compassionate care. I was self pay so I can't comment on what insurance companies will pay but I believe most want you to have a minimum BMI of 40 or 35 with co-morbidities. I cannot be sure but I think if you are self-pay Dr. Spivak will do the surgery even under a BMI of 40 if there are no additional health problems. I overheard him mention people needing to lose "60 pounds" that had the surgery...and you would have to be pretty short to have a BMI of 40 at that weight! I don't know where you live but I think he and his staff are wonderful and will do a lot to answer questions and help you sort through this kind of thing. How wonderful for you that you are already exercising...it is one less life change that you would have to adapt to. Good luck and keep your chin up!

Stephanee · November 13, 2006

Jess--Yes, 5 kids is very different. After I had my son (at the age of 17), I swore I didn't wan to have any other children! And thanks for the supportive advice! And its nice to meet you!

Jenny--I have no idea why my doctor has approached me about my weight. I really wish he had and not the jerk PS! The only thing I can think of is that I just recently started seeing him and perhaps he didn't want to come off as "rude". But I dont get that because it is NOT rude for a medical doctor to sit someone down and discuss their health and offer them guidance. There is something wrong with attacking someone and then not offering them solutions. Thanks, Jenny because it helps to know that there are people out there in my shoes. And its nice to meet you, too!

:Banane33: Lisalee--Ive lived in fantasy land and thought that as long as I felt sexy, other people would view me as sexy...and all is good. Well, it hasnt been and you are sooo right, it's a disease. It killed my mother and I am NOT willing to have my children have to say that about me someday. Thanks for your advice and its nice to meet you as well.

Okay, so here is the update people are asking for. I woke up this morning, sick:sick as could be. But I still reached for the phone (8:20 am, too!) not expecting to have the Bariatric receptionist to pick up. I didn't know whether to be scared or thrilled when she answered the phone! She took some information and encouraged me to go to a seminar. I assumed that the next one would be weeks away. Ha! I ended up scheduling the seminar for this Thursday, at 2 pm. WOW, that was fast! I hung up from there, got my 16 year old dressed for school and was ready to walk out the door when I (TMI, so, Im sorry!) threw up everywhere. Justin went ahead and took Cecil to school while I stayed home. Again, not feeling well, I picked up the phone to schedule an appointment with my regular doctor because I want his support, too. And wham, bam, thank you ma'am, I have an appointment today at 12:30. Double WOW! I guess I was feeling lucky because I called UHC just to find out their qualifications. Which are, 40+ BMI and at least 21 y/o. That shocked me because Ive heard you have to have psych evals and possibly other medical conditions. UHC gave me a list of doctors that are in network and wouldn't ya know? The doctor I am seeing on Thursday is IN NETWORK.:clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

So, now I am really nervous. Nothing in life has ever been this smooth or fast...and I am nervous because I dont quite have a BMI of 40. Any suggestions? And thanks everyone for all of the support! And sorry for all the cheesy smiley faces...I just feel so empowered today, so thanks so much!!!

GayleTX · November 13, 2006

UHC is one of the most cooperative insurance companyies when it comes to LapBand.

Having all the pre-op tests is routine. Maybe they'll find something that will help offset the low BMI and get you to the accepted level......sleep apnea, depression, etc....any of them will help.

At your age, I weight 240 and was pretty healthy, very active. Ten years later I had gone waaaay downhill. Another 10 years.....serious situation.

At age 60 I was 350, all the typical co-morbidities, shopping for a wheelchair (size xwide, of course). So, what I'm saying....if you can do something NOW your future will be much brighter....very few people miraculously get thinner and healthier as they age, do they??? And you've got lots of people depending on you.

Best wishes!!!

Carlene · November 13, 2006

So, now I am really nervous. Nothing in life has ever been this smooth or fast...and I am nervous because I dont quite have a BMI of 40. Any suggestions? And thanks everyone for all of the support! And sorry for all the cheesy smiley faces...I just feel so empowered today, so thanks so much!!!

Stephanee...

I'm afraid there is no way around the minimum BMI unless you have co-morbidities (usually at least 2). Do you have asthma, high cholesterol, back or knee pain, sleep apnea, pre-Diabetes, PCOS, COPD, or anything else you can think of? If not, you may have to wait until you reach that magic 40 BMI.

Stephanee · November 13, 2006

Gayle--That is exactly what I am trying to avoid, so thanks! And to answer youur funny (but true) "question", no, not many people miraculously get thinner AND healthier as they age!

I went to the doctor today. They tested my blood pressure and determined that it is in fact pretty high. The doctor even said that if I was due for a surgical procedure, they would have had to reschedule for the procedure. Yeah, that high. He went on to say that I am too young to have that high blood pressure. They took some of my precious blood (again) to see if they can find anything medically causing not only the weight gain but the hbp also. I NEVER thought I would be in this boat. Major wakeup call.

I still have my seminar on Thursday and I already have 2 people going with me. And I need all of the support I can get. I am soooo tired of people telling me, "You have such a lovely face..." and you all probably know the rest of that dreaded statement!

Thanks to everyone for your encouragement and help!!! I love the way you guys are so open, honest, and helpful!!! And congrats to everyone who has lost any weight and good luck to everyone else out there who are ready to take the neccessary steps to gain control! I cant wait to update you!

Stephanee

lisalee · November 14, 2006

Stephanee, I am glad to hear you saw a doctor today and found out about the blood pressure problem. Sorry to hear it but maybe there's room for a little "hurrah" in there somewhere to? This might be what it takes to get that beloved band. I hope you are feeling better...the stomach crud is so awful. Keep us posted. I am excited for you and hope things work out.