Back from the Beach

[Vera 7]

Beautiful girls! Isn't summer great.

When I look at my kids I think "I can't believe they came out of me"

[hagerteresa 3]

I kind of wish I had kids sometimes. It would sure make the holidays more entertaining. We want them but never feel ready I guess. I am really in debt from school and need to work at least a few years before I think about having them. I hate it, I kind of wish I would just get pregnant and take the decision away from us. Unfortunately I use those depo shots which I love but they are also very protective, not much chance for a slip-up. LOL:) All of our parents are begging for children. We are still renters and live in the most perfect 2 bedroom apartment (been here 8 years) in the coziest tiny town in Oregon. We have 14 officers for a town of 900 people! Yet we are 5 minutes away from two big towns.

I can't imagine trying to make room for a baby here though, we have already kind of outgrown our space.

We inherited a peice of property last fall that is 2 1/2 hours away from us. It is my dream property. The problem is it isn't where we want to live right now. The other problem is the house is dilapidated and we are not sure what we are going to do with it yet. Needs to be torn down and rebuilt or put a manufactured home on it or something. Don't know when we could ever relocate so in the meantime I think we are going to put an RV pad on the place and try to rent it out. I love the gift but it has been nothing but a big headache so far. It is nice to go camping at though. The house is still functional and fairly sound so we sleep on air mattresses and can use the bathroom and kitchen, still kind of feels like roughing it. We own 3 acres, including a small pond, a river, fenced horse pasture and garden plot. It has been in my husbands family for 3 generations and his uncles own the 2 adjoining pieces of property. It is sorrounded on two sides by BLM forest. Nicely enough it is only 5 minutes away from the nearest town. I always said when I owned my own house I would feel comfortable having children and strangely enough, now we own the house but ????? what do we do with it????

Vera, I have always thought you are the cutest thing. You have a very cute childlike face just full of mischief. I would do anything for hair like yours. I have the most miserable, fine slightly wavy (just enough to be annoying) dull colored hair. I don't even see a hint of heaviness in your face picture and I loved your beach picture you posted a long time ago.

[Alexandra 55]

Teresa, all things come to pass in their own good time. It sounds like you've got lots of pieces falling into place, and the day will come (or not) when you make a decision about children. And when that day comes, you'll be amazed at how everything else falls into place as well.

The land you describe sounds magnificent!! Someday you will be able to figure out the best way to take advantage of it. You're very lucky to have such a great thing in your lives.

Serendipity works powerfully in my life, and I believe we have to be open to it to let it do so. I waited a long time to have children, and I'm glad I did. Giving them the right father was way more important than my being under 30 when I had kids.

[Bright 9]

Giving them the right father was way more important than my being under 30 when I had kids.

What a wonderful outlook

Your girls are gorgeous Alex - wish summer would drop by Ireland!

[Penni60 45]

Alex your girls are gorgeous. I remember when mine were that young. Oh the days of our lives.

[Vera 7]

Teresa I’m blushing! I just turned 45 on Sunday.

You are smart! Getting all the pieces of your life together before having children is important. Your inherited property sounds beautiful (BLM on both sides is a plus) I have worked so hard for what we have and it takes long time.

Yes the right father is a plus. My ex could not produce children and I know it was for a reason. To find my soulmate, who’s ex couldn’t produce kids either. Besides having 2 adorable, busy, driving, on-going brilliant brains, I’m wiped out working to keep our property, yes on the lake. I want to be a stay at home mom, at least part time.

On with the hair…. I fought wavy hair all my life! Large rollers, Irons, blow dry forever. Then 9 years ago I went with the flow. I get the top section above the ears premed with spirals, it takes hours to get tiny rods set just right at about every 8 month’s.. With the added natural wave it’s moose and go.

This pic is 5 monthes old, time for a new pic.

[hagerteresa 3]

Vera, I am in absolute and total disbelief that you are 45. I would NEVER have believed it. You look so cute and young. As far as having kids, I don't know if anyone is ever prepared really. Now that I am 30 my time clock is ticking. I know people have them a lot older than that so I am not too worried but I kind of have nightmares that I won't be able to get pregnant easily when the time comes.

I love that property, I just wish it was about a 150 miles closer. Southern Oregon gets a little warmer than where I live plus all of our close family is in this area. My husband is a custodian for the college which has wonderful benefits. Next year he will get 4 weeks paid vacation (right now its 2 weeks), health insurance, sick days, personal days, holidays, blah blah the list goes on. Once I am teaching it might be easier to relocate but his job isn't anything to blow off easily either. There is a college down there so its possible one day he could trasfer but he would give up seniority. He gets free classes at the college he works at so I keep hoping he will train to go into some trade but he hasn't yet. It is hard to take classes with a 40 hour work week. He has to go in soon for carpal tunnel surgery too. Glad your back Alex! Teresa

[New Hope 37]

We were married 8 years before we had kids -- much longer than we planned. But we really enjoyed our time before kids -- so easy to do something at a moment's notice. We adopted both as infants. They're now 23 and 20. I was fortunate to be a stay-at-home Mom. I wouldn't take anything for that! Now I'm ready to have grandkids to spoil rotten.

[hagerteresa 3]

Glad I'm not the only one who has waited awhile then. My stepsister/ best friend is 2 years younger and has two adorable little girls. It sometimes seems like I am the only 30 year old I know with no kids. We have been married 5 years and together 9 years. My husband was adopted. We have met both of his birth parents and siblings. He was glad to know he had brothers because he was raised as an only child. My husband and I also enjoy the freedom of not having kids. As it is our pets tie us down a bit. I have two house sitters that will come and stay at a moments notice that I can depend on so we are pretty lucky there, but I can't imagine packing all the stuff that goes with a baby. I watched my 20 month old niece last year and was completely baffled on how to work the car seat. I couldn't get her out!!! I finally had to finangle her thru the straps and she was screaming the whole way. I felt pretty incompetent. That visit was also the first and last time I have ever changed a diaper... LOL. Teresa

[New Hope 37]

Oh, Teresa, you are such a riot! Believe it or not, when it's your kids, everything just clicks and you feel like you've been doing it your whole life. Enjoy your life now, get through these adventures. Then you can think about bringing kids into the equation, if that's what you truly want to do. Just don't let anyone push you. This has to be you and your husband's decision. Just live it one day at a time and enjoy each day!

[DeLarla 22]

Leave it up to me to throw a wrench into the perfect scenario. Teresa, I waited to have children because I wanted a house, a stable husband, good job, insurance, etc. Well, once we finally had all that and started trying, it never happened. I'm almost 42 and have no babies. Breaks my heart. We've been trying for for years now. We've both been to doctors, and we both check out fine. Mother Nature says no, I guess. I took pills, used fertility sticks, did the calendar thing, Chris goes commando, stood on my head after sex, etc. Then I started reading articles of women just like me, who kept waiting for the perfect opportunity, but waited too long. A lot of women wait for the perfect time only to find out they waited too long. It's a lonely life. My sister is in the same boat. She's 2 years older and waited for perfection, now we don't even have nieces or nephews.

We're all different. Chances are you'll get pregnant your first try, but I wanted to give you some info from the other side of the fence. Honesty first.

As far as that property you inherited - thanks for the morning gag. You have my life - give me my land!

[New Hope 37]

Lisa, have you thought about adopting? Some men have an "ego problem" with that. Fortunately, we both wanted kids very badly, so that wasn't an issue. Now with my husband's inherited kidney disease (that led to failure and transplant), I'm so glad we don't have to worry about unknowingly passing that gene on. They say there's a reason for everything. Just hard to figure out sometimes.

[hagerteresa 3]

Lisa, you took my greatest fear out of my mouth. I know after the depo shots it can take up to a year or two to get pregnant. I would happily adopt if I ever had to but I know that option is also really expensive ussually. I am perfectly happy with life as it is, but someday it would be very nice to have kids too. Don't know what the future will bring. As far as the property, you are welcome to come ANYTIME. Literally nothing is going on with it right now. It just sits empty. There were renters up till last september but they quit paying rent when they heard my father in law was in the hospital with an ascending aortic anyuerism and 5 strokes. They must have thought he would die. Don't know, needless to say we kicked them out after 5 months of no rent and they left us $700 worth of trash removal fees and lots of repairs. The house is stable but old. We replaced all of the bathroom flooring and have done the best we could with all of the cosmetic stuff but its not worth sinking a bunch of money into. It would be cheaper to rebuild. For now its just our weekend pleasure cabin. I'll have to email you or post some pictures of it soon. Teresa

[DeLarla 22]

I've thought of adoption & fostering. Those are options with people that have thousands laying around and are desperate to have children. I also believe everything happens for a reason, so that's why I never forced the issue. I have immediate family with severe mental illness (gee, could you guess?) I hate to force pregnancy only to find out the reason Mother Nature prevented it.

My best friend from high school spent hundreds of thousands trying to get pregnant. She had one child and married a man with 3. Then wanted one more together. He started by having his vasectomy reversed (extremely painful.) Then they started hormones, injections, etc. After failure, they had artificial insemination, which failed. Then they had invitro, and after years gave birth to a son.

When the baby was 6 months, my friend collapsed at work. She forced herself to go to work with the flu all week because she couldn't take any more time off. But it wasn't the flu. She got pregnant naturally after all they went through, but miscarried by pushing herself too hard.

If that wasn't a big enough message to leave Mother Nature alone, right?

[New Hope 37]

I went through numerous (painful, expensive) procedures to find out why I couldn't get pregnant. Nothing worked. We didn't have thousands laying around (and never will). But we were very fortunate in being able to do two independent adoptions. Our sons can never say they were "unplanned or unwanted". We fought too hard and too long for them. But that was our choice. You don't have to have children to be complete. This is a very personal decision that only you and your husband can make.