A thread for Single Bandsters

[Eficka 0]

Hello everybody,

ok yesterday I saw my ex...he wasnt really my boyfriend I would say lover cause he has family...ok I know its bad as it is,but its always 50/50 and I think he also could have been more responsible, cause he has a family and I dont.

Ok so in Dec.06 we broke up and said to stay friends. Since then we saw each other once and just for a coffee.But damn we have such huge chemistry its killing me. We broke up after 9months cause he realised he loved me and was afraid to hurt his family etc.

So yesterday when walking home he had to stop his car cause the tram was coming and I was infront of my appartment building.we were like 20feet from each other, he saw me and I saw him but I pretended not to see him.But he was there sitting in his mercedes in black suit that I know and he looks so damn hot in it:-(

I was thinking about sending him a sms (since we are friends and we contact each other from time to time) but I didnt do it yesterday so do you think that I should write him? He is the type that doesnt write back to much and if he does it takes him few days...or should I wait if he writes me? Or finally get over him and forget him, which is though to do cause he lives like one block from me.

I must admitt that if he wasnt taken I think he would have been the perfect guy for me, older than me 33,tall, witty,self confident but not stuck up,and he can take good care of himself (successful) and he is more dominant than I am (not in sexual way) cause I need a man not a boy and lately I feel its hard to find. I hate when the guy worships me and he will let me do whatever I want even bad things and then he just forgives me anything...

Sorry for writing such a long post:-) But I would really love to hear your opinions, although deep down I know that this "realtionship" is bad for me and wont go anywhere:-(

[ser123 0]

Ditch him. He's taken. He isn't going to leave her or make you a priority. The only priority he has is himself. And in my opinion since he can't keep his commitments or be faithful, he is not a man or a boy.... he is an ass.

Also, I say do unto others as you would have done to you. How would you feel if your husband, the father of your children, was sleeping with some girl a block away from you?

It doesn't make either one of you look like that good of a catch in my opinion.

[Eficka 0]

hey Susan,

I know where you come from, you are right that I should ditch him.But for the second point how would I feel, I can tell you that I would feel bad if I knew, she didnt know and she never found out.

On the other hand if it wasnt me it would have been some other girl... I know its not an excuse but Im just trying to explain...

Also we both were aware that he isnt going to leave her, and I wouldnt even ask for that.

[ser123 0]

Then the only person getting anything out of it is him.... which means you can find so much better somewhere else. For me, dating is a numbers game. Meaning, I will go out with most people at least once to see if there is a connection, even if they don't seem that great on paper (the internet sites is where I find my dates). That also keeps me busy and out of trouble with those "bad boy" guys that are so tempting but sooooo bad for me.

Hopefully you will be able to resist him and start looking for someone else. Looking for someone else doesn't mean you have to settle for someone less than what you want or deserve.

[Eficka 0]

Hi Susan,thank you for your encouragement...Hey and I havent written to him!:-) Really, I agree with all you said and I know its deep down in my mind somewhere:-)

yes many times I thought that he was the only one who was getting something out of this, although I got my part as well ...lol

thanx again!!

Love Eva

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I don't know why I never saw this thread. I hate to admit this, but it's one of the mail reasons I wanted to get banded. My self esteem was in the toilet, and I thought if I lost weight, my self esteem would improve enough that I could sign up on that E harmony or something. I live in the middle of nowhere, and I am probably older than most of you. But that doesn't mean I want to be alone the rest of my life!

[wootsie73 0]

hey Susan,

I know where you come from, you are right that I should ditch him.But for the second point how would I feel, I can tell you that I would feel bad if I knew, she didnt know and she never found out.

On the other hand if it wasnt me it would have been some other girl... I know its not an excuse but Im just trying to explain...

Also we both were aware that he isnt going to leave her, and I wouldnt even ask for that.

Eficka,

I have to agree with Susan on this one. The guy is getting what he wants from both women in this situation. His wife deserves better, and you darn sure deserve better. Leave him alone and move on with your life. He's always gonna be there as long as you let him.

~Joan~

[BlueTattoo 43]

There are plenty of fishies in the sea and this is one that you should definately throw back! I hope u take peoples advice to heart and come with a good answer. No one can live your life for you, all we can do is give our advice. It's up to you to do what u want and to decide if this is what you want for yourself.

[liberty2003 0]

Hi everyone, thought i would join the tread since i am recently single again (we broke up last week and he is already dating someone else)..Just trying to hop back on the singles wagon. My self esteem is in the toilet right now. Need help boosting it. Thansk

~Kristen

[Eficka 0]

thank you all for your great support, I agree you are right and I promise to do my best to avoid this guy and move on with my life cause I deserve someone better:-)

Again THANK YOU

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Welcome Denise and Kristin! We're all at different stages of the single & dating process, so I'm glad you joined us.

Kristin - I have found that any serious relationship I've had has absolutely wrecked my self-esteem when it ended. It's terrible and hard to get over, but it will happen. I'm sure it hurts you very much that he's dating someone already - I know it would hurt me. The best thing you can do for yourself I think is to go out and have some fun, and to focus all your attention on yourself. You deserve it! And ALWAYS remember that it's his loss!

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Welcome Denise and Kristin! We're all at different stages of the single & dating process, so I'm glad you joined us.

Kristin - I have found that any serious relationship I've had has absolutely wrecked my self-esteem when it ended. It's terrible and hard to get over, but it will happen. I'm sure it hurts you very much that he's dating someone already - I know it would hurt me. The best thing you can do for yourself I think is to go out and have some fun, and to focus all your attention on yourself. You deserve it! And ALWAYS remember that it's his loss!

Thank you for the welcome! That made me feel good!

My boyfriend broke up with me two years ago, and I feel like a complete idiot that I can't get over him. I keep wishing one day would pass where I don't think about him and wonder what he's doing. I know if I had someone else to think about, it would be easier. It's really hard to be middle aged and live in a really small town. It's really hard to meet people.

[KristiB 1]

Yes, denise welcome! I hate that women are usu. the ones who lose face in lost relationships, or so it seems. I truly hope you can get over that guy, I know how hard it has been. I feel I only just got over my exhusband, and we have been divorced for 5 years now? It just takes time, I hate to tell you that, but another man won't take it away, its just up to your heartstrings. I wanted the band to help me move along the highway to dating and marriage also, and its helping, it sure is. I would never have gone out so much and had so much fun while being as overweight as I was. I have had some dissappointment too, but its a road, with curves and bumps, but I keep going, because I know I have a good destination, just not exactly sure where.LOL

Eflicka, I haven't posted in a while, but I am glad you aren't calling him anymore, you deserve better than to be treated like that. I know you will move on and move up, and can hopefully forget that this episode in your life ever happened...

Kristen, welcome. Sorry it can't be under better circumstances, but single life it is. As for the jerk, you'll be better off without him.

Things are lookin good for my tattoo boy and me, but since Crispy had full use of tattoo boy before I did, I will name mine something else, like TNT boy or something(one of his tats has dynamite with tnt). We are getting along great, I really really really like him a LOT. We don't argue about anything yet, I am sure we will, but we enjoy each others company so much it hardly seems like we could fight. lol i know i sound like an idiot...his son gave him permission to marry me, isn't that cute? anyway, I don't think we are to THAT point yet, but maybe one day......."sigh".......

Kristi

[liberty2003 0]

Ok these stupid penis this suck LOL..Anywho, I know i am much better without him *he was 20* i am 23 and he was VERY immature. I mean he doesn't do anything for himself, he is a momma's boy 1000%..His mother did everything for him and whenever he needed something he would beep his mother on the nextel, HELLO MCFLY? LOL..I am trying to focus on my weight loss..Still have about 46.5 lbs to go..Then i want to get a TT..I can't wait to see his reaction when i walk into his place of work AFTER i have the TT..ooooooooooooo the sweet smell of REVENGE hahahaha..Anyways, I am getting my first TATTOO this weekend. (I thought i heard someone say do something for yourself)..So i am. I can't wait to talk to you all on normal basis..I am still pretty young and haven't had the best dating experience. So any advice ya have please shove my way..TTYL

~Kristen

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Kristi you can share the tattoo boy name! lol. I'm so glad to hear things are going well for you guys! Things are pretty good with me and my tattoo boy, lol, although I'm finding that I go back and forth as to whether or not I am ready/willing to fall for someone again. I didn't realize I had these issues until I met someone I really liked. Ugh! I'll figure it out I'm sure, but for now I'm just taking things slow...

Kristin honey, you are so right that you are better off without him! Focus on yourself and what YOU want in a partner, and when you're ready to date again, be CHOOSY. You deserve the best!

Denise, it is hard to get over relationships. I broke up with my BF of five years just under 2 years ago. It took me over a year to be really ready to move on. And if you read my above post to Kristi, I'm not even sure that I WANT to get in a relationship again. So you're not alone girlfriend!

Wootsie girl, how are things with you and all your men? lol