A thread for Single Bandsters

[cassandra 0]

Yes, it's a thread on this site

[wootsie73 0]

yeah that ending is kind of lame Texasrose. At least you only went out with him once and didn't waste a bunch of time on him. I would rather it get over quickly instead of dragging out. Rip the band aid off fast for me please.

Well, I've been out with Donny lots of times and he's never kissed me! Hell, he's only held my hand once, so don't feel so bad.

~Joan~

[wootsie73 0]

I have some bad new for you guys. I had a CT Scan and a PET Scan done last Friday, because I had to have clearance from my cardiologist before my lap-band surgery. Well, I got a call from his nurse yesterday morning telling me that the PET test was abnormal. So, I have to have a heart cath on Friday morning with a possible angioplasty and stent placement. I saw the pictures of the scan and there was definitely some ischemia there. I'm sorry, but I forget that everyone on here isn't a nurse. Ischemia means there is low blood flow and oxygen supply to that part of the heart. Anyway, I'm really scared and worried about it. It was bad enough that they called me in a perscription of nitroglycerin! You guys please keep me in your prayers. You don't even want to hear about Donny these days. We are barely speaking.

~Joan~

[ser123 0]

Hey Joan,

I am sorry to hear about your health news.

The good news is that you are taking care of you and your health. You will get there, get through to the other side and be on your way!

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Oh Joan I'm so sorry! But I think it's great that they found this potential problem and are going to take care of it. Your health is what's important. The band may be delayed a little bit, but it's most important to get yourself healthy first! Keep your chin up.

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

So my friends, I cannot believe what a crazy week this has been. I have gone from zero men activity to 6 guys actively pursuing me. How quickly things change! lol. I have that date tomorrow night, another one for Saturday (which I filled after another guy had to cancel), and then 3 other guys who are calling and looking to meet. That's the thing about Match - it's either feast or famine. Anyway, I got a kick out of this and though you girls would too. Wish me luck!!

[wootsie73 0]

So my friends, I cannot believe what a crazy week this has been. I have gone from zero men activity to 6 guys actively pursuing me. How quickly things change! lol. I have that date tomorrow night, another one for Saturday (which I filled after another guy had to cancel), and then 3 other guys who are calling and looking to meet. That's the thing about Match - it's either feast or famine. Anyway, I got a kick out of this and though you girls would too. Wish me luck!!

Chrispy,

That's really great! I've put my profile up on PlentyofFish.com, but haven't had much of a response yet. I don't have a pic on my profile, so I'm gonna have to get that done. I like that site better, because it's free! I can't afford to join the others right now. I just hope you have a great time on all of these dates! Let us know how they go.

~Joan~

[TheCascadian 1]

Hey Ladies,

I'm male, single, 27 years old, tall, dark and handsome. I have a stable career with the Feds. I'm still pre-surgery, trying to get banded.

A few years back I lost A LOT of weight and went under 300 lbs. Due to my height, the high 200s are a great-looking weight for me: Women practically fell at my feet and I was having the time of my life. When the weight went back over 300lbs, the looks and flirting and comments from the ladies all dried up. Thankfully, I was in a relationship by that time!

As much as women believe that they are not "shallow" or that they don't really look at mens' bodies first and fore-most... Well, let's just say that I know better.

I prefer being thinner (under 300lbs) and prefer my ladies to be curvy but not sloppy. I believe that we as human beings have some instincts going on in the backs of our minds about this- we are usually attracted to an average/healthy body type. Some of us like them a little thicker or taller or skinnier, there's still personal preference, but very very very few people lust for a lover who is morbidly obese- I certainly don't.

Dating is all about selling a very complex product- yourself. I love my inner workings and think I'm made of high-quality stuff. Unfortunately, I'm packaged all wrong. I want to try and change my package's appearance because I know I can attract more high-end "customers" if I do. Sorry to be so crass or clinical about it, but there it is.

Just as I don't want to "buy" a morbidly obese girl, I don't want to "sell" a morbidly obese me, either. It goes both ways. But I won't say it is fair or even reasonable. I just know what I'm attracted to and what I'm not.

But I think we suffer from discrimination all the time and we don't even realize it. I don't just mean from potential lovers, either.

When I thinned down, people who had never spoken to me at work in three years were suddenly my best buddies. I was sort of offended until I realized that they were doing it almost totally unconsciously. Once I fit into that mental size chart in their head, I was accepted and appreciated. When my weight went back up, many of them drifted away again.

It was NOT my behavior which changed, either, I've always been a loud, confident, goofy chatterbox.

The same pattern happened time and again with people who were not close to me emotionally. Whether it was my bosses, distant coworkers or ladies on the street, my weight made all the difference in how I was percieved and treated.

I could go around being resentful about it, but I'd prefer just to fix me, get back under 300lbs and solve the problem. I want the band.

In closing this freaking novel-length post, I just wanna say that many of you ladies on here are TOTAL HOTTIES! Don't think I didn't jump to that pictures thread when I got here to check you all out!

I'm so happy for all of you who are fighting this disease and making better lives for yourselves- Talk about having a quality product to sell in that ole dating game!

[Dibaby 0]

What a great idea!! Nobody understands bandsters like another bandster!

Anyways I'm new here but I'll post..

I'm 36..single mom of a 6 year old girl...living in the Chicago area. If anyone is interested send me a pm...I don't bite..just nibble..LOL..

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Soooo Cascadian, do you like women in their 30's? haha - just teasing you. Sort of. lol. I understand completely what you said, and have to say that I agree with a lot of it. I'm glad you posted - we need more testosterone around here! I hope you continue to visit us and share you perspective with us.

Welcome dibaby! We look forward to your posts!

So I had date #1 last night. We had been talking all week on the phone, so I knew we'd have a good time, which we did. He brought me flowers (which I haven't gotten in 3 years!!), actually listened to the previous conversations we had on the phone, and admitted he was so excited for last night that he couldn't sleep the night before. He was so nice and sweet, and I felt very comfortable with him, like I had known him for years. The down side - he was a bad dresser. Black jeans and black sneakers...not my style. That, and when we went to dinner he kind of held his fork like a little kid. The whole way home I berrated myself about being too picky and that this is why I am single. But on the other hand I don't want to settle. I deserve the whole package. Right now I'm leaning towards going out another time and seeing how that goes. What do you guys think?

Date #2 is tonight - I'll post tomorrow and let you know how things go with this guy.

[JDru 0]

Welcome Cascadian...sounds like you're prepared for your lap band journey.

Chripsy sounds like you had fun on your date! You are crazy busy with the men lately! Feast or famine right? I know what you mean about being picky vs. settling. It's a fine line...and where do we draw the line? We DO deserve the whole package! I can't wait to hear how date #2 went...

[puddin 7]

As much as women believe that they are not "shallow" or that they don't really look at mens' bodies first and fore-most... Well, let's just say that I know better.

...

Just as I don't want to "buy" a morbidly obese girl, I don't want to "sell" a morbidly obese me, either. It goes both ways. But I won't say it is fair or even reasonable. I just know what I'm attracted to and what I'm not.

I totally agree with the first paragraph I have you quoted with up there. To be completely honest, I wasn't shallow with how men looked when I was heavy, but now... now it's a different story and I feel terrible about it. I'm positive that I still must have some confidence issues, as I feel like I've got to date only the best looking men to be validated as a good looking woman. I'm working through this, but just know that the women that YOU want are going to be the kind of women that are confident in themselves first and will therefore be less shallow.

That being said, however, I will only date athletic men now because that's what I want in a lifestyle and that's who I am now. It's not the fact that a man is good looking because he has a nice body, it's the fact that I'm looking for a lifestyle and obesity just doesn't fit that lifestyle. I don't want to sell obesity or buy obesity, either.

[wootsie73 0]

Chrispy,

I think you may be being just a little to picky, myself. The way he dresses is something you could change by helping him pick out clothes, but if things went as well as you said, he deserves another chance. It sounds like you had a great time, but didn't like his style of clothes. That can change, but the personality won't.

~Joan~

[j_war06 0]

Hey guys! I had a friend stay over last night.....well I can mark dream #2 off my list......HE'S A STRIPPER! But he's actually very passionate! I was so SHOCKED!!! He actually spent the whole night....He left at almost noon...He would have probably stayed all day, but I had to go to work. He's freaking HOT btw! Im proud of myself, if anything its one for the trophy case lol! Happy DANCE! Ok,

[ser123 0]

Chrispy,

I agree with Wootsie... black jeans and black tennis shoes isn't like holes in his clothes. And the way he holds his fork? Is that really a reason not to give someone a second chance?

The real issue is whether you are physically attracted to him and mental/emotional chemistry. Hell, Jodie's stripper could probably wear striped shirt and plaid pants and shovel food in his mouth with his hand and we would all just overlook it completely.

If you have mental/emotional attraction, and the physical is lacking... I say give it a go one more time. When he goes in for the kiss you will know whether there will be a third time or not! I can't kiss someone I am not interested in, no matter how mentally/emotionally attractive they are.