People's comments and frustration they can cause!

[misslady 130]

I have been carrying this around for 2 days and I have to get it off my chest! People and their comments can cause some frustartion. I am taking all the steps to get approval for sleeve surgery hopefully by March Spring Break time. So I have decided that I am only sharing this decision with my husband and 1 co-worker until day of surgey I might tell siblings and mother. Just discovered on Tuesday after my EGD that I have chronic active gastritis and peptic esophagitis all from GERD and the hiatal hernia that was discovered. I must admit that I have been on an emotional roller coaster about my decision to have the surgery. I have been surprised at the mental process taking place. Some days I am extremely confident and others I am full of doubt. Started this 2 years ago and when I mentioned it to family it was a total meltdown from everybody about why not to have it. Even my 14 year old broke down in tears about not having it. My fiance' now husband was totally against it to. So I did not poceed thinking I will do better.

Fast forward two years and there has been more health crisis, more medications added and about 10 more pounds. I am taking between 10-13 pills a day for hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol, thyroid disease, pituitary issues and just discovered I have sleep apnea and that has been causing things to go out of wack! I may not have a very high BMI (36) but my co morbidities are no joke. People always say but you are not "big" enought to have that kind of surgery, just stop eating and start exercising. Well helllllooo if it were that easy we would all be in perfect health and form. Even my husband now is on board because of how he has seen me have health crisis. I am 5'8" and weigh 236 as of this morning.However no one else would be on board and I am not discussing this choice now because I don't need the negativity. I have been in mental mouring about the things that will change from the vain(clothes and shoes-i have thousands of dollars worth of clothing-over 300 pair of shoes) I battled a shopping addiction. I am wondering if this will flair up when I have to buy a new wardrobe. My daughter(now 16) saw me looking at a video and she freaked again and started with mom please don't do it. We can work out. I know they think they have my best interest but please support me if not my decision. A co worker overheard me talking about the surgery and she went ballistic about not doing it, no schedule it, she has this diet I can try, I am going to look like I am sick or on crack blah blah blah. It really did get to me.

Sorry it's long but maybe here some one can understand all these different emotions, thoughts and dilemma's. How can I be both full of doubt and anxious to just get it done. I know I do not have 100 pounds to give and believe my body will stop before I get to that point. But the thought of being diabetes free and possibly high blood pressure and cholesterol free makes it worth it I know. The weight loss is an added benefit. Thanks guys for letting em vent and keep me in your prayers and I move forward in this journey to a better and different life.

[InMyNext30Years! 42]

Good luck! I hope you feel better! I am only telling my mom because she had gastric bypass 5 yrs ago and my BFF because she is the one who always eats with me! Lol and her sister because she cooks for us, I asked them to keep it secret because I don't do we'll with comments and they understand. I will be telling people that I am changing my life quit drinking smoking and abusing my body with bad food and I am now focusing on eating healthy exercising and being positive! I am very happy about it! Besides the sleeve is just a tool like a measuring cup! Lol

[Feeling Free 51]

I don't have any words of wisdom but I wanted to give u a virtual hug. I could feel your pain and frustration when I was reading your post and I sincerely hope everything works out smoothly for you.

[DivaNurse 171]

Hey Miss Lady,

I do understand how you feel. sometimes you have just gotta let it out. I am a nurse to by the way. You are right when you say it is an emotional; roller coaster, but you have to do what you feel is right for you. I have come to find out that everybody is not going to be as supportive as we would like to be or if they even support us at all. Fortunately I was prepared to do this basically along and I prayed real hard and fast for the Lord to be by my side as I embark on this journey. And you know what some wonderful things have happen, The few people I have told have been very supportive, people you I thought wouldn't understand but they do and I am grateful. Of course I spoke to my children first and they wanted to know WHY WHY MOM you don't need to do that you look fine. Ahhhh but what looks good on the outside is not always how it is on the inside, so I began to explain my reasons for wanting to do it, my daughter after a lengthy decision she understood and was encouraging, my son however was not easily moved by the surgery or my reasons for it. But we talked some more about it, he still doesn't want me to do but he is supportive none the less.

You look like you are a praying woman, and I would say to you, don't worry about things that have not happen, he is always there to help us and put things in perspective, as you walk this journey of weight loss through sx allow him to lead and guide you. Those things you think you don't have strength enough to resist allow the Lord to take over that burden for you. Those things you can control do so and those that you can't allow the Lord to take care of it for you. He wants that we be happy and healthy and if we trust and believe he will take control and help use through. This is a good forum you have come to wil people understanding what you are dealing with.

I just hope and pray that my words have brought you some comfort. If you ever want to need feel free to contact me.....Prayer for you my pre-sleeved sister.....

[lilbearzmom 584]

Sometimes I wonder if it's harder on the people around us for us to change or on us. People who react that way are either uninformed about the surgery or sabateurs (sp?) who don't want us to change because of their own insecurities. This is why I told almost no one about the surgery. My mother-in-law's horrified reaction AFTER the fact made me realize my decision was right.

-Kendra

[Strangefruit 179]

#1 - Your wedding pic is beautiful!

#2 - This is going to be YOUR journey. You cannot DO or NOT DO this for anyone but you. It *will* be hard... but you can do it!

~hug~

[ibehere10 163]

Geez, so sorry your daughter is so upset about it. The rest of the folks I wouldn't worry about though , it is your health and only you and your doc knows what is best to put an end to your serious health problems. If there is a support group at your hospital or surgeons office, maybe you could take your daughter so she can meet others who have benefited from the surgery? Also, maybe take her with you to the doc and your doc can explain why this Is so important?

Good luck on your journey and I hope your daughter will come around.

[Soskinny 9]

Hi Miss Lady, Unlike many people, I told EVERYONE that I would be having the surgery!! I felt accountable that way. That includes my 20 and 14 year old daughters. I did not ask for their opinion. I only asked that thy support and respect my decision. When the naysayers would have their say I would smile and except the challenge to prove them wrong. Our decisions about our weight and health are very personal and I was not about to let anyone still the opportunity for me to do what was best for me and something just for me. While I totally understand the emotional roller coaster that comes with this journey, it has been sooo worth it. Walk in faith and get ready to be blessed with a HAPPIER, HEALTHIER life. 4 months later and 50 pounds lighter, now they all love the new me and they want to know more about the surgery. Heck, my BFF is on board and embarking on the journey. All the best to you... the New Healthier YOU!!

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

I don't have any words of wisdom but I wanted to give u a virtual hug. I could feel your pain and frustration when I was reading your post and I sincerely hope everything works out smoothly for you.

Ditto on the above..

{{hugs}}

[misslady 130]

Thank you to each and every one of you!!! You have no idea how much your words mean and make a difference. After more prayer and more talk with my husband and reading your comments I am much better and still determined to move forward.

[Heyher 581]

I think almost every person on this board has the roller coaster of emotions. And adding concern about family fears can be overwhelming. One day you feel so confident and you are so sure it's the right decision. Next day you are wondering if it really is the right choice. And the what if can creep in....

I really think those emotions are normal and when you are struggling with those, negative comments can cause even more doubt. Just remind yourself why you decided to do this. Live a longer life and be healthier and enjoy a much better quality of life. Sounds like the people you needed the most support from are going to be there for you.

The people that matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

[bigtigger1010 45]

I have been carrying this around for 2 days and I have to get it off my chest! People and their comments can cause some frustartion. I am taking all the steps to get approval for sleeve surgery hopefully by March Spring Break time. So I have decided that I am only sharing this decision with my husband and 1 co-worker until day of surgey I might tell siblings and mother. Just discovered on Tuesday after my EGD that I have chronic active gastritis and peptic esophagitis all from GERD and the hiatal hernia that was discovered. I must admit that I have been on an emotional roller coaster about my decision to have the surgery. I have been surprised at the mental process taking place. Some days I am extremely confident and others I am full of doubt. Started this 2 years ago and when I mentioned it to family it was a total meltdown from everybody about why not to have it. Even my 14 year old broke down in tears about not having it. My fiance' now husband was totally against it to. So I did not poceed thinking I will do better.

Fast forward two years and there has been more health crisis' date=' more medications added and about 10 more pounds. I am taking between 10-13 pills a day for hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol, thyroid disease, pituitary issues and just discovered I have sleep apnea and that has been causing things to go out of wack! I may not have a very high BMI (36) but my co morbidities are no joke. People always say but you are not "big" enought to have that kind of surgery, just stop eating and start exercising. Well helllllooo if it were that easy we would all be in perfect health and form. Even my husband now is on board because of how he has seen me have health crisis. I am 5'8" and weigh 236 as of this morning.However no one else would be on board and I am not discussing this choice now because I don't need the negativity. I have been in mental mouring about the things that will change from the vain(clothes and shoes-i have thousands of dollars worth of clothing-over 300 pair of shoes) I battled a shopping addiction. I am wondering if this will flair up when I have to buy a new wardrobe. My daughter(now 16) saw me looking at a video and she freaked again and started with mom please don't do it. We can work out. I know they think they have my best interest but please support me if not my decision. A co worker overheard me talking about the surgery and she went ballistic about not doing it, no schedule it, she has this diet I can try, I am going to look like I am sick or on crack blah blah blah. It really did get to me.

Sorry it's long but maybe here some one can understand all these different emotions, thoughts and dilemma's. How can I be both full of doubt and anxious to just get it done. I know I do not have 100 pounds to give and believe my body will stop before I get to that point. But the thought of being diabetes free and possibly high blood pressure and cholesterol free makes it worth it I know. The weight loss is an added benefit. Thanks guys for letting em vent and keep me in your prayers and I move forward in this journey to a better and different life.[/quote']

It will b the best gift u ever give urself! N u will do amazing & u deserve this for yourself! Thats all that matters!!! Best of luck to u :-)

[Mev2 19]

We are almost the same stats when I had surgery on 11/20:12. Now a little over 2 months later I'm 4 lbs. to Onederland. I also had am emotional roller coaster but through lots of prayer I went into surgery knowing this was my path. My thought was if I don't do it I am guaranteed a poor health with high BP, sleep apnea, and likely diabetes. With the surgery I had a great chance to live again. I am off all meds now and living again! I am so happy that I did it. Prayers being sent your way as you too go through this decision. Blessings.

[kellimcc 11]

I can completely relate about the mental back and forth! I just had my sleeve 11 days ago, I decided to tell only a few people and honestly they were friends who I knew would support me, it's what i needed to get me through the 2 week pre op. I didn't tell my mom or my sister (who is still so mad at being kept in the dark she isn't speaking to me) who found out by accident when my 9 yr old who told my dad who just happened to call the day after surgery I was in the hospital for my stomach. Dad called my mom and from there it totally unraveled. And my sister is STILL angry because she says I should have told her because she deserved a chance to see me before surgery that significant because what if I hadn't made it through? See, it's all about THEM! So I say you go with you gut! I am more convinced post op given the reactions of those I chose not to tell (mother in law included) i absolutely made the right choice on not telling them, good luck on your journey, I feel for you, follow your heart, keep God by your side, he'll guide you through this journey!

[rdoactv 218]

I don't have any words of wisdom but I wanted to give u a virtual hug. I could feel your pain and frustration when I was reading your post and I sincerely hope everything works out smoothly for you.

And another {hug}…it is such a hard decision to make even with support. But it is YOUR decision. Maybe if they understand the surgery better they will come around. ??