Fat, Normal or Skinny

[Heyher 581]

. Has the surgery helped much?

I get sleeved in less then a month. But both my PCP and neurologist think it will be very beneficial for me. They are confidant it will help with maintaining my mobility when I don't have an extra 100lbs to lug around. :-) I'm thinking the same thing.

Bummer is I was supposed to have surgery on 2/4 but we had to delay because stress from insurance caused an outbreak of shingles on my face. :-( But I'm on for 2/25.

[clk 3,519]

I think for many of us vanity enters in to some extent. It wasn't my primary reason for surgery, but certainly feeling "normal" and being a smaller person entered into the equation for me. I was diabetic and could hardly chase my toddler twins around. I took one look at my family, and realized that even wearing a 20/XXL and weighing 242 pounds I was the smallest woman. I didn't want this for my daughter - to grow up feeling like being so unhealthy and morbidly obese was the norm. One of my biggest reasons was the chance for my diabetes to resolve. I didn't want to suffer the complications of out of control diabetes for the rest of my life.

So yes, I wanted to be healthier. But I wanted to be healthier by being smaller. Being skinny never entered my mind. I have never imagined myself as skinny or ever thought I'd even get this small, to be honest. My husband calls me skinny, but he just likes his ladies heavy!

A realistic expectation would be to start with either a low weight you've accomplished in the past, a weight you enjoyed when you were there before or to resort to the BMI chart to pick something not in the obese range. You will not know how far you can go until you're losing. The last pounds are a challenge for many of us. I also caution against picking a scale goal as your ultimate goal. It's a sad fact that many of us don't reach them or if we do, are unable to maintain them. Your body will decide where it's happiest - and that will be the point where you can easily maintain your much smaller size without living on a diet. And that may or may not coincide with what you pick as your goal. Many people here have had to mentally struggle with the idea that they won't hit what they consider their ultimate goal, or with feelings of failure if they do manage to touch on it but are unable to sustain for the long run.

All of this to say, the ultimate goal here for every one of us should be long term maintenance. NOT a number on the scale or a size of pants. It should be getting smaller, getting healthier, dropping the emotional food baggage and being able to live that way (and happily!) for the rest of our lives. The loss phase seems long while you're in it but it's one or two years of your life. Maintenance is forever.

Speaking to that, maintenance and working out HOW to maintain is by and far the hardest part of the journey. Oh, recovery is a challenge (that darn liquid diet and the discomfort of surgery) and yes, learning to eat and track your food isn't easy, either. Dealing with minor annoyances like lactose intolerance or the need to take supplements and a PPI are no fun.

But learning why you're obese and stopping the bad habits forever is without a doubt the hardest thing you will do for yourself.

It is also the most rewarding.

Acknowledging destructive behavior and stopping it is very difficult for some of us. Many people that do not adopt a healthy, moderate lifestyle and break those bad habits prior to goal will struggle in maintenance. I urge you now, before surgery, to consider not just losing the weight but HOW you plan to do it. I do not feel that anyone should approach this surgery like a diet. By that I do not mean we should eat the way we did prior to surgery. But I feel that simply restricting calories and carbs down to very low levels and rocketing to goal in nine months does not teach us what we really need to learn here. And that's how to live like normal people, like people that have never had a weight problem and people for whom food is just food, and not something to crave or binge on or feel guilty about.

I wish you the best of luck. There are some very great threads out there - some on the post op board and some on the success board - about the loss expectations and how to live out there. Even take the time to check out the weight specific board, the vet board and the maintenance threads. These are the people that had surgery and made it to goal...and are living life afterward. Our perspective is different because we've hit the other end of the journey. We can tell you from experience that post operative discomfort or a liquid diet are very small challenges in comparison to living a totally new life.

And make sure to read both the positive stories and negative ones, to have a fully informed expectation! Read stall threads and slow loss threads, not just the threads where people fly to goal in six months. You need a well-rounded idea of all the possibilities before surgery, because you do not know what camp you'll be in afterward.

Be well,

~Cheri

[CocoM 7]

I started therapy before I had my surgery, on my surgeon's recommendation...I am a revision person, meaning that I've had WLS before and VSG was my second surgery, and he recommended that I go through therapy for extra support....and it has helped....I use my therapy time to really self-examine how I managed to lose and regain 120 pounds in the past....and I'm still a work in progress

This is very helpful.

[CocoM 7]

I get sleeved in less then a month. But both my PCP and neurologist think it will be very beneficial for me. They are confidant it will help with maintaining my mobility when I don't have an extra 100lbs to lug around. :-) I'm thinking the same thing.

Bummer is I was supposed to have surgery on 2/4 but we had to delay because stress from insurance caused an outbreak of shingles on my face. :-( But I'm on for 2/25.

I wish you good luck.

[CocoM 7]

I think for many of us vanity enters in to some extent. It wasn't my primary reason for surgery, but certainly feeling "normal" and being a smaller person entered into the equation for me. I was diabetic and could hardly chase my toddler twins around. I took one look at my family, and realized that even wearing a 20/XXL and weighing 242 pounds I was the smallest woman. I didn't want this for my daughter - to grow up feeling like being so unhealthy and morbidly obese was the norm. One of my biggest reasons was the chance for my diabetes to resolve. I didn't want to suffer the complications of out of control diabetes for the rest of my life.

So yes, I wanted to be healthier. But I wanted to be healthier by being smaller. Being skinny never entered my mind. I have never imagined myself as skinny or ever thought I'd even get this small, to be honest. My husband calls me skinny, but he just likes his ladies heavy!

A realistic expectation would be to start with either a low weight you've accomplished in the past, a weight you enjoyed when you were there before or to resort to the BMI chart to pick something not in the obese range. You will not know how far you can go until you're losing. The last pounds are a challenge for many of us. I also caution against picking a scale goal as your ultimate goal. It's a sad fact that many of us don't reach them or if we do, are unable to maintain them. Your body will decide where it's happiest - and that will be the point where you can easily maintain your much smaller size without living on a diet. And that may or may not coincide with what you pick as your goal. Many people here have had to mentally struggle with the idea that they won't hit what they consider their ultimate goal, or with feelings of failure if they do manage to touch on it but are unable to sustain for the long run.

All of this to say, the ultimate goal here for every one of us should be long term maintenance. NOT a number on the scale or a size of pants. It should be getting smaller, getting healthier, dropping the emotional food baggage and being able to live that way (and happily!) for the rest of our lives. The loss phase seems long while you're in it but it's one or two years of your life. Maintenance is forever.

Speaking to that, maintenance and working out HOW to maintain is by and far the hardest part of the journey. Oh, recovery is a challenge (that darn liquid diet and the discomfort of surgery) and yes, learning to eat and track your food isn't easy, either. Dealing with minor annoyances like lactose intolerance or the need to take supplements and a PPI are no fun.

But learning why you're obese and stopping the bad habits forever is without a doubt the hardest thing you will do for yourself.

It is also the most rewarding.

Acknowledging destructive behavior and stopping it is very difficult for some of us. Many people that do not adopt a healthy, moderate lifestyle and break those bad habits prior to goal will struggle in maintenance. I urge you now, before surgery, to consider not just losing the weight but HOW you plan to do it. I do not feel that anyone should approach this surgery like a diet. By that I do not mean we should eat the way we did prior to surgery. But I feel that simply restricting calories and carbs down to very low levels and rocketing to goal in nine months does not teach us what we really need to learn here. And that's how to live like normal people, like people that have never had a weight problem and people for whom food is just food, and not something to crave or binge on or feel guilty about.

I wish you the best of luck. There are some very great threads out there - some on the post op board and some on the success board - about the loss expectations and how to live out there. Even take the time to check out the weight specific board, the vet board and the maintenance threads. These are the people that had surgery and made it to goal...and are living life afterward. Our perspective is different because we've hit the other end of the journey. We can tell you from experience that post operative discomfort or a liquid diet are very small challenges in comparison to living a totally new life.

And make sure to read both the positive stories and negative ones, to have a fully informed expectation! Read stall threads and slow loss threads, not just the threads where people fly to goal in six months. You need a well-rounded idea of all the possibilities before surgery, because you do not know what camp you'll be in afterward.

Be well,

~Cheri

Thank you, I've read many posts here and on other sites, and have found some quite informative.

[Geminidrive 389]

. Nothing has been hard, wow why is that?

I don't know.....I didn't have any pain, gas or nausea after the surgery, and everything else seems easy to me (I know this may change and I'm up for the challenge when and if that happens.) Maybe I can attribute my experience to where I am in life, my attitude and outlook on life. I think it's good to be mentally prepared for change and if you aren't ready it will be harder to manage. A book and workbook that was helpful for me was "The Beck Diet Solution, Train your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person" by Judith S. Beck. It is an invaluable investment.

[Lorie269 392]

I am getting sleeved to be healthy and have a normal BMI. My goal is 155 and that is the highest weight for my height to be in the normal range. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin again.

[CocoM 7]

Thanks for your responses.

[iggychic 1,405]

I had the sleeve for vanity reasons. I was otherwise healthy and come from a family of 100 year old fat people who are relatively healthy

The hardest part was that I had life threatening complications. Recovery was very slow and painful.

I feel relatively normal now and am back in the swing of things generally. I am and was very confident but wanted to look better than I did after years of pregnancies and fertility treatments. They aren't good for the size of your bumm.

I suppose some would call my goal "skinny" but it's in the middle of normal for me BMI wise. I have always been amply blessed with T&A even when I weighed 90lbs so I don't expect that will change much, they just might be a bit saggier

[desertmom 297]

I am one that uses the word skinny!Let me explain.

My 57 year old friend that had GB 3 years ago came to visit just after my surgery and said to me I will also be able to call myself skinny!I told her that I have never and will never be "skinny". She said just wait and see!You will have skin everywhere,on you tummy,on your arms,on your legs and on your butt.

When she visited again 4 months later I had to agree with her and we declared ourselves "skinny"...lol. It is our favourite word now..lol.We were fat toghether for 20 odd years and we will be skinny togehter until we decide to have PS.

It is just a word we use in jest! We can laugh about the skin,or cry about it and we choose to just "be skinny" for now!

We are both at a normal 25 BMI and we will never be "skinny" in the normal sense of the word.But at the same time we are very,very "skinny"!Having said all this,most days we both still "feel" fat..lol.We certainly dont look normal,unless we cover up good!

[CocoM 7]

I am one that uses the word skinny!Let me explain.

My 57 year old friend that had GB 3 years ago came to visit just after my surgery and said to me I will also be able to call myself skinny!I told her that I have never and will never be "skinny". She said just wait and see!You will have skin everywhere,on you tummy,on your arms,on your legs and on your butt.

When she visited again 4 months later I had to agree with her and we declared ourselves "skinny"...lol. It is our favourite word now..lol.We were fat toghether for 20 odd years and we will be skinny togehter until we decide to have PS.

It is just a word we use in jest! We can laugh about the skin,or cry about it and we choose to just "be skinny" for now!

We are both at a normal 25 BMI and we will never be "skinny" in the normal sense of the word.But at the same time we are very,very "skinny"!Having said all this,most days we both still "feel" fat..lol.We certainly dont look normal,unless we cover up good!

Now that is funny, I think I'll have to use that term.

[lsereno 2,525]

Cheri,

Thanks so much for a fabulous post that really tells it like it is for the long haul. Wish I knew how to pin this so it was required reading for everyone considering this surgery.

Lynda

I think for many of us vanity enters in to some extent. It wasn't my primary reason for surgery, but certainly feeling "normal" and being a smaller person entered into the equation for me. I was diabetic and could hardly chase my toddler twins around. I took one look at my family, and realized that even wearing a 20/XXL and weighing 242 pounds I was the smallest woman. I didn't want this for my daughter - to grow up feeling like being so unhealthy and morbidly obese was the norm. One of my biggest reasons was the chance for my diabetes to resolve. I didn't want to suffer the complications of out of control diabetes for the rest of my life.

So yes, I wanted to be healthier. But I wanted to be healthier by being smaller. Being skinny never entered my mind. I have never imagined myself as skinny or ever thought I'd even get this small, to be honest. My husband calls me skinny, but he just likes his ladies heavy!

A realistic expectation would be to start with either a low weight you've accomplished in the past, a weight you enjoyed when you were there before or to resort to the BMI chart to pick something not in the obese range. You will not know how far you can go until you're losing. The last pounds are a challenge for many of us. I also caution against picking a scale goal as your ultimate goal. It's a sad fact that many of us don't reach them or if we do, are unable to maintain them. Your body will decide where it's happiest - and that will be the point where you can easily maintain your much smaller size without living on a diet. And that may or may not coincide with what you pick as your goal. Many people here have had to mentally struggle with the idea that they won't hit what they consider their ultimate goal, or with feelings of failure if they do manage to touch on it but are unable to sustain for the long run.

All of this to say, the ultimate goal here for every one of us should be long term maintenance. NOT a number on the scale or a size of pants. It should be getting smaller, getting healthier, dropping the emotional food baggage and being able to live that way (and happily!) for the rest of our lives. The loss phase seems long while you're in it but it's one or two years of your life. Maintenance is forever.

Speaking to that, maintenance and working out HOW to maintain is by and far the hardest part of the journey. Oh, recovery is a challenge (that darn liquid diet and the discomfort of surgery) and yes, learning to eat and track your food isn't easy, either. Dealing with minor annoyances like lactose intolerance or the need to take supplements and a PPI are no fun.

But learning why you're obese and stopping the bad habits forever is without a doubt the hardest thing you will do for yourself.

It is also the most rewarding.

Acknowledging destructive behavior and stopping it is very difficult for some of us. Many people that do not adopt a healthy, moderate lifestyle and break those bad habits prior to goal will struggle in maintenance. I urge you now, before surgery, to consider not just losing the weight but HOW you plan to do it. I do not feel that anyone should approach this surgery like a diet. By that I do not mean we should eat the way we did prior to surgery. But I feel that simply restricting calories and carbs down to very low levels and rocketing to goal in nine months does not teach us what we really need to learn here. And that's how to live like normal people, like people that have never had a weight problem and people for whom food is just food, and not something to crave or binge on or feel guilty about.

I wish you the best of luck. There are some very great threads out there - some on the post op board and some on the success board - about the loss expectations and how to live out there. Even take the time to check out the weight specific board, the vet board and the maintenance threads. These are the people that had surgery and made it to goal...and are living life afterward. Our perspective is different because we've hit the other end of the journey. We can tell you from experience that post operative discomfort or a liquid diet are very small challenges in comparison to living a totally new life.

And make sure to read both the positive stories and negative ones, to have a fully informed expectation! Read stall threads and slow loss threads, not just the threads where people fly to goal in six months. You need a well-rounded idea of all the possibilities before surgery, because you do not know what camp you'll be in afterward.

Be well,

~Cheri