Insensitivity

[Punkin 21]

I've been crying since 5:22pm when I stepped out the door at work...

I just started my pre-op diet Monday. My surgery is 2/12. I work in a small office. We all have lunch at the same time. Today, my boss played a video for everyone to watch about a severely obese disabled man who worked with a trainer and lost all kinds of weight. (trust me... it all leads back to me having this surgery) I thought this was SO insensitive on his part. I got my protien shake together and left the room... holding back the tears. Then tonite a coworker asked me some questions about the surgery. 10min later I heard she and another coworker talking about it. They pulled me into the room they were in and both said... "I don't know about this Tam." Referring to me having the surgery. "This seems much harder than exercising."... At that point I just said.... "ok then..." and left. I couldnt get out of that building fast enough tonite...

[Geminidrive 389]

What was the point of him showing the video, just to embarrass you? I don't get it, why would somebody do that? Did you say anything to your boss?

[PdxMan 4,292]

I am so sorry to hear you had this experience. Some folks are completely ignorant to the struggles some folks have with weight loss. Sometimes, they have their own insecurities about their weight and reactions like you experienced is their only recourse.

Don't let their childish behavior inside. It is their problem, not yours, so don't make it yours. This was the best decision I ever made for me and my family. My family knows it, too. Just because your co-workers are clueless doesn't mean you are making the wrong decision for you. This is your life, not theirs. It is your story, not theirs. Live your life, not theirs,

Talk to your HR dept regarding your boss tomorrow. Don't wait as it may escalate.

[ISleevedIt 380]

I'm so sorry to hear that work is giving you a hard time. You know what is best for you, so just politely tell them that you thank them for their concern but you know what's best for your health. I hope you have a better day at work tomorrow.

[Punkin 21]

I think that was his sick way of pointing out "If that fat, disabled guy can do it... why can't you?" No I didn't say anything to him. I was too embarassed and too on the verge of tears.

[Geminidrive 389]

I think that was his sick way of pointing out "If that fat, disabled guy can do it... why can't you?" No I didn't say anything to him. I was too embarassed and too on the verge of tears.

. That's inappropriate! I do feel you need to address it, either in person or by email. If you continue to allow him or others ridicule you, it will never stop.

[chocolate_macchiato 23]

I think that was his sick way of pointing out "If that fat, disabled guy can do it... why can't you?" No I didn't say anything to him. I was too embarassed and too on the verge of tears.

I am so sorry you had to go through that, its ridiculous! Let your tears be your motivation for change.

His personal opinion of your weight and body image has no place in the work place. What he did is absolutely in appropriate! I would start by going to him and telling him how uncomfortable that makes you. Stand up for yourself and you beliefs As far as you co-workers, tell them to mind their damn business!! If you wanted their opinion on this matter you would have given them one.

[zoekids 120]

I would call HR ... that was harrassment!

[juny 93]

Yep, small office or not, they're creating a hostile work environment and they're not allowed to do that.

[Mystie 146]

Wow. Wow. That is ridiculously insensitive! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It's awful how people can assume they know what's best for others.

[Annie B 89]

If you have an HR, I would file a harassment complaint against your boss for this. This is above and beyond insensitivity - it's inappropriate behavior - period! He is making your work place uncomfortable.

Wow - my heart really goes out to you - what a mess! I wish your surgery was sooner so you wouldn't have to be in that situation. So sorry!

[delta_girl 931]

Sounds like they have been talking behind your back. They were wrong and insensitive, but I am guessing they care about you and are worried. Why else show a video and then others pull you aside?. They are very misguided, regardless.

[iggychic 1,405]

That's not insensative. If he worked for me you would be seeing a new boss in the office in seconds upon hearing of this. It's harassment and totally inappropriate!

[WillowsAngel_32513 70]

. That's inappropriate! I do feel you need to address it, either in person or by email. If you continue to allow him or others ridicule you, it will never stop.

i agree, i ALMOST had a similar situation at my job and i work in a medical office....i sternly but politely let EVERYONE mnow that this my decision and mine alone and if i want an opinion i will ask for it. Until then, no one should have anything to say.....i havnt had any problem since....best of luck to you, and congrats

[Punkin 21]

Thank you everyone... After a night of crying I've transitioned to pissed off mode. God help the first person who approaches me today about the surgery. Actually... I've found my strength and will gently but forcefully get my point across. I do have to work with these people. Oh... by the way. We have 14 total employees. There is no HR department... he IS the HR department. And I do understand that people are worried about me. It would be nice if people could just have a little tact.