Spouses reaction 2 weight loss

[yvette626 18]

My husband also had the bypass surgery. Not only did he gain more self confidence, he went buck wild! I was supportive of him then and now he supports me 100%! Could be ego? IJS! It will be okay in the end!

[Iweeny 36]

To karishero

Sorry to say but your friend isn't your "friend" he sounds very insecure and if he is not being a 100 percent your friend dump him. You need people that support you and are positive in your life

[ljperez 87]

My husband is not controlling he is very jealous but he definitely has an opinion as to what I wear even when I'm going out with him. Occasionally I do like to go to the clubs in Boston and obviously dress appropriate which creates a big issue with us ....so he is feeling that I'm going to change my way of life, my way of thinking and not want to be with him due to the fact that I'm losing this weight. I am happily married, in love with my husband and have no desire to go elsewhere. Because we are going to have these constant struggles with ourselves I don't want to have a struggle with my spouse

I live in boston too. My husband was really against me having the surgery. It has not been easy but it's been almost 5 months and he is coming around. I haven't started shopping yet so I'm still kind of frumpy since my clothes are getting so big but he still makes comments like I thought you would be skinny by know and it doesn't look like it's working. It does get to me and I feel bad for a while but I just keep telling myself this is not about him it about me now. I loose at my own pace and he is feeling insecure about all the years of me being insecure and him being "the better looking one" and now the table has turned. I love him and am not trying to hurt him in any way just "trying" to not let it get to me and hope he will come around. I see it working he is doing so many things that he never did before around the house and with the kids so I feel it's a great thing that I'm not making a big deal about it. All these years of me being afraid that he would leave me because I was fat it turns out that he feels this way now and it was kind of a control issue before with him. The only thing I would say is don't play into it and it will get better. He "thinks" he is loosing control but it was only because we let them have it in the first place. It's about us now. I hope this makes sense I ramble sometimes.

[annabelle 76]

I'm looking for some advice about how spouses have dealt with their spouses and their weight loss. I'm finding my husband is going to have a huge issue with the weight loss and me feeling more confident/ sexy.... Difference in dressing and I'm not sure how to approach this without fighting. We have been married 10 years and I've given him no reason to not trust me but I want this to be a positive journey for us both has anyone else had the same issues? For example wearing capris was what I always went with and I'm thinking shorts or skirts and I always make sure to cover up the stomach so I'm questioning wearing summer dresses or tank tops. He does not like when the "girls" are showing and I'm only 32! so I don't feel like I need to dress like a nun. My goal is not to dress skanky or slutty but to dress my new body with clothing and confidence.

I never told my partner about I going for this operation till I saw the consultant, as my partner is on oxygen 24/7, when I did approach the subject me finding myself and regaining my confidence was the main subject, Frank is my number 1 supporter, we laugh and joke about all the new sexy clothes Il be buying and don't forget the underwear, Talk to your hubby let him see you will be dressing for him as well as yourself, get a sexy outfit in his favorite colour, & tell him black will only be for the bedroom, the best of luck, xxx

[tpietrowski 102]

How do you approach this? He's very supportive of the surgery is always calling in asking how I'm doing and how my appointments are however I know he's afraid of the future ... if he does have insecurities that's not something that I can fix or control but being a happy wife and mother is all that's important to me. I don't want a fight prior to my surgery nor after my surgery any good suggestions on how we discuss???

[TheCurvyJones 721]

The dirty little secret about WLS is that a lot of marriages end over the resulting issues. You will be feeling more confident and changed. He will be feeling exactly the same and he won't quite 'get' the new you. Hopefully a couple grows and changes together but sometimes the men in our lives don't get why anything has to change at all.

[sweetie2003 36]

Ima just be honest...my hubby despises me when i lose weight...i cant wait till i get all my self& self esteem back cause i will leave him! He is very verbally abusive at times...mostly when we fight and i do the same to him. Im tired of it. I will be happy by myself!

[tpietrowski 102]

Sooo I'm wearing a low v shirt today and hes like can it get any lower. Told him to get used to it and he said I'll b single. I just laughed. Said I have my ring I'm good. He said he's gonna go to gym and get a muscle body... he asked why I dress like this... I said cause I can. I'm an adult and no one is telling me what to wear... didn't go over good

[Huntingnurse 510]

Sooo I'm wearing a low v shirt today and hes like can it get any lower. Told him to get used to it and he said I'll b single. I just laughed. Said I have my ring I'm good. He said he's gonna go to gym and get a muscle body... he asked why I dress like this... I said cause I can. I'm an adult and no one is telling me what to wear... didn't go over good

You go girl. You dont deserve that crap.

[leeann71 539]

All I can say is don't lose respect for each other. Once its gone relationships will never be the same. I have been married for 26 years so I kind of know what Im talking about :-). When you and your husband got together you loved each other no matter what, right? Dont let your weightloss ruin this. You dont have to wear clothes to show any part of your body to look sexy! What you do have to wear is confidence and love in your heart to show your sexy side. Work it out, come to an agreement when you want to wear something a little revealing.

[sweetie2003 36]

Good point leeann. Now i feel bad for sayin im gonna leave mine!

[Huntingnurse 510]

Good point leeann. Now i feel bad for sayin im gonna leave mine!

But you cant stay if youre miserable. Not fair to anyone

[lucky8mb1 167]

It makes me sad to hear stories like this. I've been with my husband for 12 years, married for 10 in August. We're both turning 35 this year. We started dating when I was in the 240s. I was in the 160s by the time we got married. Then came babies and he watched me go up down over 100lbs back and forth over the next 8 years, leading to my highest weight of 298lbs. Nothing has ever changed from him to me. Yes, I've had my own personal issues with my weight, but they were my issues - not his.

He's my biggest cheerleader. He helps me see the changes that I have a hard time seeing. He cooks me healthy food. He pushes me to get to the gym - even when I don't want to. I truly think he's more excited about seeing me happy with myself, then with seeing me skinny. The better looking body is just a bonus that he gets to enjoy as well.

He's helped to make this experience a positive one. It makes me sad that other people have had to deal with unneeded stress and lack of support from your spouse during such an important time. Please see them for who they are. I'm not encouraging everyone to divorce or anything, but if there is that much jealousy and animosity present - you should, at minimum, seek counseling.

I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope you can find a way to remove this toxicity from your life.

[leeann71 539]

I would like to add one more thing, if you are abused either physicaly or mentaly please find the strenghth inside you and find a way out! No one deserves to be treated like that period. And with you losing weight it will not get better I promise you that. I am here if anyone needs a shoulder or friend to talk to, just message me.

[sweetie2003 36]

Leeann...thats so kind. (Teary eyed) thanks!.