Anyone had surgery and was alone afterwards.

[MsBriteEyez 32]

I am going through this surgery alone. The couple family members I have live out of state and no is able to be here with me. I didn't want to postpone the surgery. I have purchased all my liquid foods, Vitamins and Protein for a 3 week supply and placed everything by my bed. I am a little nervous as it seems everyone I know who had the surgery had someone with them. I recently moved out of state with my job and haven't met any friends here. I hope I am not putting myself at risk. I work from home so at least I don't have to worry about work and I can rest. Any advice or pointers to help me?

[shaundra 5]

I had surgery on 1/15/13. I stayed in the hospital 4 days alone. It wasn't that bad, a little boring though. I did have my mom and daughter to come home to but honestly I think you have an advantage being alone. The hardest part for me was the first few days at home. The other people in my house had to eat, and seeing their food and smelling it had my crying like a baby for days! I'm doing fine now, their food doesn't bother me anymore, but its still hard mentally. Don't worry you can do this alone. You will be feeling a little better each day, and before you know it being alone in this won't be an issue. Besides you have all of us here at VST

[erp 2,016]

Hi there. I'm in a similar situtation. My family has moved out of state and I live in my current city due to a promotion so not a lot of friends here. At least none I would expect to take vacation time from their job for me. I did my EGD by myself-- you are supposed to be put under for it but I didn't have anyone to drive me home so I was awake. Obviously that can't happen with surgery! LOL. My plan had been to look into hiring a nurse or other care person if needed. However my parents are retired and are going to fly out to stay with me the first 5 days. I am hoping that I will be able to get up and down from a seated position as well as in and out of bed before they have to leave. Doing it alone has been a little more difficult. Getting the EGD done awake took some negotiating with the doctor. My surgeon insists on a 'family visit' pre-op, I got him to agree to do a conference call. That said, you probably do need help the first few days. If you have a family member that can pick you up from the hospital and stay with you after surgery, get them here. If not you can hire someone. You won't be able to drive home or to the pharmacy and you will need someone to help you get up and walking every few hours. Since our surgery is laproscopic, after a couple of days, you should be ok on your own. Don't stress, it will all come together.

[Booney 9]

I'm not going to lie- I really needed my sister when I got home 2 days after surgery. I got pretty nauseous and was having trouble getting any Protein in me...so, I started getting light headed. My sister was there to get me ice packs to help me through those dizzy moments and grab me SF ice pops which really saved me! I know some people are ok alone but, in my opinion, it is best to plan on having some help (which you can always cancel), rather than risking going it alone.

I'm not sure if it's in your budget but...you can always call a home care agency and ask about having an aide come for a few hours the 1st day or few days. Or, maybe call your church (or any religious/community organization) and see if they have anyone who might be able to help you out for not too much $$. We did that to find a companion for an elderly Aunt and found a lovely woman to help her for years.

I'm sure many have gone it alone though...I just wouldn't say it is the best option. But, sometimes, we don't always have options. So, if you can't find help, you will always be able to call 911 for assistance. Best wishes to you!!!

[SoCalDixieGal 172]

Same boat here but with a twist - I'm going solo to Mexico for my surgery. I was going to stay here and use the doctor who did my band years ago, but switched (and it actually wasn't all about the $). Anyway . . . . this doctor keeps his revision patients for an additional 4 nights locally with daily visits which is a bit of a relief as there's actually more care given! But, once I get home I'm totally solo.

My house looks like I'm a hoarder with all the Protein drinks, Vitamin waters, etc. I've only got really one friend locally who will pop in if I need her. One of my friends out of state was with me for my band surgery and stayed with me for several days after (that was outpatient). I actually could have done that one solo as well, except for driving myself home of course.

We almost could use our own forum --- Solo Surgeries or some other cutsie sounding group name.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

For your own sake, talk with your surgeon about all possibilities before your surgery. If no one is at the hospital with you, you want to make sure someone knows what your wishes are in all eventualities.

I had a bunch of friends and family available when I was at home, but I was fine alone, I was able to really rest when I got home. I stayed one night in the hospital and like you, had everything ready to go at home. Be mindful of lifting things. I brought trash out in small bags (got me walking too) Same with laundry. Don't over do it. Even if they are not at your side, have someone check in on you via phone, and don't be afraid to seek out help if you need it. Get the number of a local nursing service/home health aid from the hospital to have ready in case the need arises. Be as prepared as you can.

Best of luck to you!!

[popsicle_20721 27]

I went through the surgery pretty much alone. My mom and dad (both elderly) live out of state; as well as much of my family. My son and I are estranged and haven't spoken in a few months (heartbreaking). I have a DIL who also went through the same surgery, but was too busy dealing with divorce issues and 3 small children. Fortunately, I had one dear friend from work who drove me to hospital and drove me home. The friend was only available because he was off work during the holidays, but trust me, being around hospital or sick people was the last place he wanted to be. So when I say he literally dropped me off and picked me up that's what he did. I have very few people that I would call true friends and I am a rather private person, so most people don't even know what kind of surgery I had, or that I had surgery, until after the fact. The good news is when I left the hospital after an overnight stay, I was in stable enough condition to walk around, take a shower (wash up) and get back and forth from my bed to the kitchen and bathroom on my own. This means I could get most of everything I needed to care for myself, by myself. Thank God for that because I was definitely by myself. I too made sure I had everything I needed pre-surgery. The 1st couple of weeks I took the pain meds as prescribed which helped relax me a lot, besides I couldn't eat too much anyway except popsicles, hot tea and a sip or two of the dreaded Protein Drinks. Unfortunately by week 2 I was feeling awful, I literally vomited anything I tried to put in me even Water. I was weak and feeling so miserable that it was almost unbearable; and I was alone. I think this is where I could have used company; just to have someone in the house that I didn't feel so alone during this struggle. I even drove myself to my follow-up doctor's appointment. With the continuation of vomiting, I ended up having to have an endoscopy procedure done. I thought what am I going to do, I knew I was supposed to have someone take me home after the procedure - but there wasn't anybody and by that time, the holidays were over so even my friend from work wasn't available (though he did call me everyday to check on me). Well I decided I would drive myself to the appointment and figure out how I was going to get home later - figured I would probably drive myself home. I had to have the procedure, because I was close to being dehydrated and wasn't keeping anything down - not even water. I guess when they say God doesn't give you more than you can handle, is true - the morning I was getting dressed to go to the appointment, my work friend called and said "hey listen, I'm going to take you to your appointment, you can't drive home alone." I was floored, but was so grateful - because truthfully I was scared. The weather was awful and I had also been having car trouble too - so my driving alone was really a risk. Well I had the procedure, friend stayed during the procedure and then drove me home. I've been home alone ever since, with the exception of a visit from DIL and grands and another girlfriend. Being alone in this situation has not been great, in fact it's been downright depressing, but it is doable. This experience certainly has made me re-evaluate my "pride" in the sense that sometimes you need help in your life. When you do, speak up and ask for what you need, even if it is from folks that you may not normally ask and sometimes don't want to. So my advice, if you don't want to pay someone to help you, then at least find someone to confide in and ask would they be willing to check on you everyday - even if it's just a phone call. There were a couple of calls I made that I wish that I had not, but it did not stop me from continuing to reach out to others, but it was mostly just to have someone to talk to, not to offer any physical sort of help. Of course, mom and dad also called regularly - just to be sure I was ok. This site has been helpful to me and I strongly encourage you to reach out here, as you begin you journey.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

going through this surgery alone.

MsBriteEyez

i'm sorry you will be alone through surgery and recovery

the one commen comment about WLS - is we're all different - this is true for your weight loss, how it progresses, stuff like that

your NUT/surgeon might be different than another one, and your recovery time table situation will be different

some people have no problems (like me) they fly through surgery and recovery without batting an eyelash (MsBriteEyez ) - think positively - this could be you !!!!!!

everyone goes through there own way of recuperation/recovery

there are people that have problems - gas, vomitting stuff that i'm sure you have read about

then there are MANY others like me - that had a terrific recovery, or with maybe a small problem here or there

you can do this alone, i have seen others in your predicament, and they were fine

hopefully some OP will come here and respond positively

i wish you the best on your recovery

come here ALL the time - read, pass the day, tell about your situation, any problems, and we're here for you

good WLS

speedy recovery

longer, healthier, happier life - here you come

[moregoodtimes 331]

I am going through this surgery alone. The couple family members I have live out of state and no is able to be here with me. I didn't want to postpone the surgery. I have purchased all my liquid foods' date=' Vitamins and Protein for a 3 week supply and placed everything by my bed. I am a little nervous as it seems everyone I know who had the surgery had someone with them. I recently moved out of state with my job and haven't met any friends here. I hope I am not putting myself at risk. I work from home so at least I don't have to worry about work and I can rest. Any advice or pointers to help me?[/quote']

Many come home alone. I plan to do that as well, and sincerely want it that way. I do have a friend to take me home and stay if i am not doing as well as i hope to. BUT the thing you need to find out and prepare for is this: my orders strictly say that i will not be released unless someone else is present at discharge time. Even if i take a cab, someone must leave the hospital with me. Just a thought... You don't want a hassle to deal with at that point. Best wishes.

[MsBriteEyez 32]

Thanks everyone. I been so nervous. I am taking a taxi to the hospital but have been lucky enough that I do have a ride home. I wasn't expecting such a fast response from my insurance company. They sent the approval Jan 11 and said I needed to have the surgery Jan 28. I have gone through knee surgery alone and I was able to manage well.

I thank you all for your encouragement. It is hard when you have a small family and they all live out of town. This the time I had a big family or knew a lot of people. Working from home makes it hard.

Wish you all success with your surgery!

[MsBriteEyez 32]

WOW Popsicle your story sounds like mine! It is times like these that I realize how alone I am in life. I did call a couple sitting agency and wasn't to successful with just arranging 24 hour care. Not sure if it was just my bad luck, I even tried a site called Care.com. I have the resources to pay someone. It was last minute notice I received the approval on the Jan 11 & insurance company required surgery on Jan 28. Everyone is aware I am having surgery.

[MsBriteEyez 32]

Thanks proudgrammy. I have dual medical coverage and both pay will pay for the procedure. My doctor was able to arrange for me to have a 3 day hospital stay in a private room. He requested the 3rd day because I am alone hoping by the time I am released I will be okay.

Thanks for your words of encouragement

[Claire99 12]

I will be able to answer you after Tuesday . I'm kinda of in the same citation . My husband is overseas and my mom is in the hospital . So it left me with my best friend that just had a Tummy Tuck last Monday to help me . She is still in bed from her tummy tuck and my surgery is Tuesday ! I will have my surgery in and out patient then at a hotel 2 nights .. Which my daughter is 13 but goes to school and can pretty much help me afterwards . I'm planning on letting her take off of school on Wednesday . Good luck I think you will be fine .

Stacie

[Geminidrive 389]

Do you have neighbors or co-workers that can check on you? I live alone, but my brothers live about 1 hour away. My ex-boyfriend checked on me along with my neighbors. I was fine, no pain, no nausea. Just make sure someone checks on you.

[NurseGrace 509]

I was not completely alone but I was left alone for large portions of the day and here is what I can say about it. Reconsider the bed thing, you may want to split things up so you have some at your bed and some at a chair because it was very difficult for me to get down into bed and then up from bed again. A recliner is ideal but I am getting buy with a large chair and a foot stool just fine.

at least for the first few days you wont want to bend over either so try to have everything you need at waist level at least

The only other problem I can foresee is most hospitals WILL NOT let you leave in a Taxi so SOMEONE is going to have to pick you up.