Just received a verbal beating...

[HoosierGirl 780]

Finally told my Mom, "Hey, I am leaving next weekend to have surgery in Tijuana."

Oh my - did the fur fly.

Some exerpts of the conversation: "You know you will have to have 'will power' after surgery to make the right food choices, why don't you just do that now? Going to Mexico is risky.....how exactly did you verify your surgeons credentials....what did she do wrong as a mother that I learned to be fat.......this is not a quick fix...........what does you husband think........your Dad turned grey when I told him.......I'm very worried and love you.....who is going with you.....who all knows about this.....the surgeons there just want your money like the insurance companies do here, so don't think they are concerned about your health either.....etc."

Wow. What a pep talk. She's my Mom and I love her, but - WOW.

[annabelle 76]

I got from my mam all of that and remember your the one that is doing this to yourself so don't come crying to me and expect me to pick up all the pieces when it goes wrong, Mums we still love them x

[HoosierGirl 780]

Annabelle - thanks for your comment.....glad I have some company here. I really do understand that weight loss surgery is is big deal and kind of shocking.....add going to Mexico and people just freak out. It is major surgery, I get that. But, wow, I could use a little support here on the home front.

[Territravel 217]

It's hard, I know. It's just not in "everyone" to be supportive about surgery..I'm lucky, I did not want any negative feedback and decided to only share with a few family members, and they were all supportive.

Surround yourself with positive people, and ignore the rest.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I am very worried i love you

Hoosier

sorry your mom went off like that - i've heard other people have similar reactions (not that that helps you )

since you didn't say otherwise, hope hubby is supportive

like all moms, she is only thinking of you, and wants to make sure your safe, and you realize what you will be doing post WLS -you know you will be fine, and you do have a lot of hard work in front of you for the rest of your life

things can get hard, the sleeve is around to "help" you, but you have do work with the sleeve -follow the rules et all for the rest of your life

its not a piece of cake , but i have confidence in you - sleeve is great

but your life will be healthier and happier, you can remind mom of that!!!

As far as willpower, i used to call it "won't" power, as i won't eat this or that. (these attempts/thoughts didn't work long)

would lose 50 lbs - only to gain 60, etc etc. Probably similar to you (and the majority of the board )

"try" not to let harsh words get to you (easier said than done )

you'll need all your strength after WLS to proceed with the rest of your longer wonderful life

good luck in Tiajuna

speedy recovery

[Diamondeyed 399]

Hope all goes well, no love lost, but your decision is your decision....well wishes

[carstanger 346]

I had friends try and talk me out of it, but my daughter had the same surgery with the same doctor and she is a doctor. She only told close family and I was just getting ready to have a knee replacement. My husband thought it should be my next surgery and I said NO WAY. I realized about a year and a half later that my weight was holding me back from doing many things and I was sick of it! Anyway, the decision had to be mine and no one elses. Both my Mom and Mother in Law have dementia so I didn't tell any of them...I'm glad I did it but it is not easy. I'm a rule follower so haven't had the bread, Pasta, potatoes, and rice since the end of October. Almost at 11 weeks!

[HoosierGirl 780]

Yes, my husband is supportive. He "gets it". He's been right there with me through my bariatric program last year, insurance denial, and exploring self-pay options in Mexico. I know what I am getting into and what a huge commitment it is. I'm not looking for a quick fix, I'm looking for a long term aid to help me regain my health.

I know my Mom loves me and she's just scared for me. But - geez....I'm a little nervous too! This is a big deal!

[Brooke333 26]

I was extremely lucky as my mom had gastric bypass in 92" so she was very supportive and excited for me. However, I only told immediate family cause many of my friends would not be supportive.

[*Dean* 1,594]

With a family reaction like that I try and not look at it as 'supportive' and 'unsupportive'.

Your mum loves you, wants the best for you, is worried for your health, your safety, worried for you long term .... etc etc

You can't ask for more supportive than that!

It's just her perspective is different. Different life experiences. There is a very small risk with this surgery. Some people are more adverse to risk than others. Some aren't prepared to take on any risk whatsoever.

So I guess don't think of your Mum as 'unsupportive'. She's given you her thoughts, but any decision is yours to make

Deano

[BB145 34]

I'm sorry you got that reaction from your mom. I had similar issues when I was banded a few years back which is why this time around with revision, I'm not telling a soul with the exception of my husband, my best friend, and my mother in law. I only told my mother in law because she is also researching surgical options. Those three people get it and are supportive. I'm so guarded this time because some people can be so hurtful and really I'm tired of having to explain and justify my decision. It's my life and my body and my decision. Some people just don't understand that. Good luck to you! I hope you have a great experience!

[apricot1119 105]

My mom too wondered what she had done to make me fat. Sigh

[HoosierGirl 780]

You guys are really wonderful....thanks for letting me "vent".

[Shergirl 18]

My husband was supportive and apprehensive. I think he thought I was going to have surgery in some adobe hut with chickens running around on the dirt floor . Since we have been home, he has told everyone how great the Dr and the whole experience was. OCC is super clean and the whole staff is caring and very attentive to your needs. I had surgery 1 16 and last week I e- mailed them because I was having some pain in my left side. The doctor called me back within 15 minutes. Turned out to be just muscle pain from the surgery but it sure made me feel better that they got right back to me.

Don't worry about your parents, they are just scared. I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about and when you start getting healthier, they will see that you made a good decision for your life.

[sarsar 824]

I bet before you leave that she will let you know how much she loves you and supports you! It is a shock and she probably just needs a little time. She loves you, that is obvious by the way she reacted. She is worried about you and once that passes and she realizes this is your decision I think she will be on board.

Before I told my family (and that's all I told except for a couple of close friends), I said, "I have to tell you something, please don't freak out...". Everyone was supportive after the shock died down and they understood that I am a smart, grown woman that knows how to make an informed decision.