Starting to get scared

[amytug 996]

I'm having doubts today. Things like

Can't you just do that diet that was the most successful and stick to it this time?

You could be one of he ____% that gets a leak or other life threatening thing.

You could use that self paymoney for other things. Your kids could have nicer clothes for school etc.

Do you really want to risk your life and possibly leave your husband jobless, and kids motherless?

I have 3-4 weeks left, depending on a few factors and I was 100% ready until today. No idea what happened. In really starting to feel

Scared, lame for not being able to do this alone, worried for my family, etc. so many emotions. I know this is "normal" and this is probably the 5th post this week about getting nervous(I've only read one) but for some reason today I'm really feeling BIG feelings.

Not sure what I'm looking for? Been there done that types of stories? A pat on the back? Reassurance that I'm doing the right thing? Even skmeone to talk me OUT of sirgery. I just don't know. Is this REALLY normal?

EDIT: I probably should have put this in "PRE op"

[GoldyGirl 186]

Yes, Normal, i went through all the What if, Right Until they put me under to do the Surgery. I am 2 weeks Post OP and still going through the emotional part of OMG did I really have WLS??? But I keep telling myself I did this for Me and a Better Healthier Life....and Take things One Day at a Time...Good Luck!

[HoosierGirl 780]

Amytug - I think what your are going through is very normal. I've been having the same questions - feeling the same nervousness - and just generally worrying about everything.

Then, while I was out of town a couple weeks ago, I got a good look at my back-side, naked in a full length mirror. WOW. What a wakeup call. That pulled me right back to reality and reminded me that I don't need this just for my body to appear normal, I need it to avoid the health conditions of my parents, I need to be able to participate with my kids now, I need this surgery to extend my life.

If your best friend was YOU, what would you tell her?

The risks are very small for the huge long term gains in health, physical and mental well being. Bottom line, if you could lose the weight and keep it off, you would have by now. Your kids and husband deserve you to be fit and healthy and with them for a very long time. You deserve this. Hugs to you!

[Nicolanz 1,484]

I felt a huge amount of guilt for the same reasons. The NEED to get out of this fat suit won though. Your feelings are normal. That being said, I'm a firm believer in following my gut. I never once was worried about complications until after surgery lol. Only you know what's best for you.

[amytug 996]

Thank you all.

I'm not sure what I'd tell my BFF. I'd be scared of losing her too. I suppose I'd tell her to go with her heart/gut. And yesterday MY gut and heart were fine. I have read about all sorts of complications up until this point and they didnt phase me. I'm not sure what happened today, it just kindof hot me out of the blue. We'll wee how I feel in the next couple of days. I still have a good 2-3 weeks before I pay my deposit and book my flight.

Maybe I'm just at a point where this is turning more from excitement to readiness. I think this is just something I really need to do an ill regret it if I don't. I need to be a better mommy. A confident one. One who actually goes places and is happy. Right now I just stay in the house almost all the time. I just don't feel like being seen in public. I've lost 60 lbs alone before. Felt great but didnt stick to it and Literally gained it al back as soon As I lost it. I can't continue to live this way.

Oh and hiosiergirl, my rump is rediculous too!!! Zomg!! O.o

[No game 14,437]

You are about to go through a major life change. I would worry if you weren't thinking about these things.

That being said, all things in life worth having come with a risk. your husband and children will benefit from a healthy happy Amy!!

[lilbearzmom 584]

I'm having doubts today. Things like

Can't you just do that diet that was the most successful and stick to it this time?

You could be one of he ____% that gets a leak or other life threatening thing.

You could use that self paymoney for other things. Your kids could have nicer clothes for school etc.

Do you really want to risk your life and possibly leave your husband jobless, and kids motherless?

I have 3-4 weeks left, depending on a few factors and I was 100% ready until today. No idea what happened. In really starting to feel

Scared, lame for not being able to do this alone, worried for my family, etc. so many emotions. I know this is "normal" and this is probably the 5th post this week about getting nervous(I've only read one) but for some reason today I'm really feeling BIG feelings.

Not sure what I'm looking for? Been there done that types of stories? A pat on the back? Reassurance that I'm doing the right thing? Even skmeone to talk me OUT of sirgery. I just don't know. Is this REALLY normal?

EDIT: I probably should have put this in "PRE op"

Hey there! Here's my answers to your questions:

1. If the "most successful diet" you were on was really a success, you wouldn't be resorting to surgery. That's what it is- a last resort to save you from an early death.

2. Sure, complications like leaks are possible. But they are not common. This surgery is safe in the hands of skilled surgeons.

3. If you used the self-pay money for other things your kids could wear the lastest fashions. However, I doubt they will be saying, "At least she dressed us well!" When they are living without you too soon.

4. See response #2. Also, they may be motherless and wifeless- maybe not in the near future, but too soon.

The bottom line is, however much you are paying for this surgery, it is a bargain because your health is PRICELESS. Not only to you but your husband, kids, friends, and everyone who loves you. I wish you the best of luck making up your mind. And don't worry, it is perfectly normal to be nervous. I totally was!

-Kendra

[tigerbelle 328]

all good advice--especially Kendra's--that I will keep in mind myself as I struggle with some of the same issues...that #1 that Kendra listed really hits home for me....this is something I look at as a life-saving measure

[amytug 996]

Hey there! Here's my answers to your questions:

1. If the "most successful diet" you were on was really a success' date=' you wouldn't be resorting to surgery. That's what it is- a last resort to save you from an early death.

2. Sure, complications like leaks are possible. But they are not common. This surgery is safe in the hands of skilled surgeons.

3. If you used the self-pay money for other things your kids could wear the lastest fashions. However, I doubt they will be saying, "At least she dressed us well!" When they are living without you too soon.

4. See response #2. Also, they may be motherless and wifeless- maybe not in the near future, but too soon.

The bottom line is, however much you are paying for this surgery, it is a bargain because your health is PRICELESS. Not only to you but your husband, kids, friends, and everyone who loves you. I wish you the best of luck making up your mind. And don't worry, it is perfectly normal to be nervous. I totally was!

-Kendra[/quote']

Oh gosh, this is exactly what I needed to hear today! Thank you for peeking in and taking the The time to reply. (Hug)

Last resort. *nods* I can do this!

[HikeEveryMountain 112]

I'm five days away from surgery and going through all of these same thoughts. I'm watching myself struggle with the pre op diet, fail SO many times on it, and wonder how in the hell I'm going to be successful after surgery? It's a mind scramble. This is taking a lot of faith, a lot of realistic evaluation of my history and patterns, and the forgiveness to keep going, keep trying.

[amytug 996]

I'm five days away from surgery and going through all of these same thoughts. I'm watching myself struggle with the pre op diet' date=' fail SO many times on it, and wonder how in the hell I'm going to be successful after surgery? It's a mind scramble. This is taking a lot of faith, a lot of realistic evaluation of my history and patterns, and the forgiveness to keep going, keep trying.[/quote']

Yes!!! Beautifully put.

[amytug 996]

Oh I got this off my surgeons Facebook page.

I thought it was suitable.

[moregoodtimes 331]

Amy... you are just a doll! I can call you that in a very motherly way because I'm probably old enough to be her! Anyway... I have another great saying posted above my monitor that you might find inspirational... Courage is not the absence of fear - Rather the judgment that something else is more important than the fear. When my sons, now in their 30s, were little, I was fat, but young enough to be active. I still did many things with them, but not to the extent I could have had I not been so heavy. I missed so many things I should have experienced with them and I gave up almost everything I truly enjoyed because I was just too fat. I loved showing horses, but finally stopped because I looked awful. I loved to hike and kayak but neither worked out because I was too fat. I was so ashamed when I had to wear some tent type dress for the boys' weddings when the other mothers were slim and wore gorgeous tailored dresses. And when my grandsons got big enough to want me to drop to the floor and work a puzzle or play a game, I made an excuse and missed the chance at that quality time with them. No one should push you to go where you don't want to go, and I'm not trying to do that. I just want you to hear where you could be some day (sooner than you will ever imagine) if you don't make some sort of change now. To continue my tale... I have lost around 100 lbs about 6 times in my life and half that a zillion times. Those months while lighter, but still no where near goal, where the happiest, most confident times of my life. I am not so over the hill that I don't still have many years to enjoy life and do the things I love. Although I thought about surgery the past several years, I was just not ready until this year. Yes I think about the what ifs, but know now that for me this is right. I am going to be in surgery next Wednesday and I will be bike riding and playing ball outside in the heat with my grandsons next summer! A year after that, I will be retiring and we will be planting garden, swimming and fishing to our hearts content. I'll be the healthy grandma in the bleachers cheering them on at their ball games and embarrassing them in front of their friends because of my loud cheers - not because of my obesity! I just cannot wait. And that my friend is all more important than my fear! Whatever you decide will be the right thing for you right now. You are a woman and therefore have been granted the God-given right to change your mind.. at any time and for no reason at all! Best wishes to you in your life's journey. MGT