A Family Drama - Help!

[AussieLady 521]

I have just been slapped in the face by a major family drama. It's one of those times when, in the past, I would have opened a bottle of wine and eaten myself stupid. What do I do now? Any advice would be appreciated.

[Losing weight 126]

I have just been slapped in the face by a major family drama. It's one of those times when' date=' in the past, I would have opened a bottle of wine and eaten myself stupid. What do I do now? Any advice would be appreciated.[/quote']

We all go thru major drama at different times of life. It's very easy to slip Up and run to food and alcohol for support. I would recommend to Keep your Eye on the prize which is your health and emotional eating is going to take you further from your goals. Drinking is not going to make the issue disappear it will still be there end of the day. Be strong you don't need a drink to handle any issue. Go for a walk instead in a park fresh air will give you peace of mind and enough time to think how to resolve the issue. We got to utilize the energy positively in a different directions our life doesn't revolve around food anymore we eat to live not the other way around.i just know we are here for you. Be strong

Sent from my iPhone 5 using VST

[*Dean* 1,594]

I have just been slapped in the face by a major family drama. It's one of those times when, in the past, I would have opened a bottle of wine and eaten myself stupid. What do I do now? Any advice would be appreciated.

Hope it's nothing too serious Aussie.

I find it does feel a little bit 'good' or empowering that we don't eat our emotions anymore. I think it might make us face them a bit more too which is a good thing.

Excercise is always a good option, and talking / venting - either directly with tose involved or friends.

Deano

[moregoodtimes 331]

Is it a situation you can disconnect from a little or a lot? If not maybe you can become the voice of reason and lead by example. Bottom line... Protect yourself and your success. You cannot help others by sacrificing youself or at some point you will be running on empty. The breaks for fresh air is a good thought and coming here for support. Hope it is not too serious and soon smooths out.

[AussieLady 521]

Thanks guys, think I will be doing lots of walking along the beach tomorrow.

So you better understand, I have 4 children, 3 have never given me any problems and then there's the other one. She is 29 years old and has a 6 year old daughter. I have virtually brought up my granddaughter but in order to keep her with her Mum I brought a house for them to live in and I pay for my granddaughter to go to a good school with Counsellors etc as my daughter has had drug problems and I wanted to be sure that the school would monitor my granddaughters wellbeing and safety and, of course, I am always close by and if in doubt I take my granddaughter home with me and care for her until I am sure that my daughter can care for her properly.

My partner and I are currently at our holiday house for a few days rest and this morning my granddaughter phoned and said she couldn't wake Mummy up. This has happened before but as I am away I had to send the police around to check on things. An ambulance was called but my daughter said she was fine and eventually they left.

This afternoon my daughter phoned to tell me she had just been to the doctors and is 5 months pregnant. I am just too tired to raise another child. I had to raise my 4 children on my own whilst working full time as their father died. I just want to have some life for me. Maybe I am just being selfish?

[KickRocks 163]

I sent you a pm...((hugs)) and again no you are not being selfish at all.

[Bos123 221]

I am thinking of you! I struggle with coping mechanisms too, I used the old ones for so long, we can feel lost at times. I pray tht you and all of us can finally find a healthy way to cope!

[mizzzliza 113]

I can totally relate. I have 5 grown kids. My 29yr old daughter now has 2 kids and a drug problem. She has lived with me on and off since her first pregnancy and Dylan my grandson has always lived with me because frankly, I don't trust her. She now has grace, 10 months old and we recently discovered she's using again. She denies it or says well I stopped 2 weeks ago. Just crap. Now she's taken the kids and moved 2 hrs away from us, saying she needs to get away from the access to drugs, her friends etc. in reality I believe it's me and her dad she's trying to get away from as she doesn't like us trying to make her get clean.

So here we are. Out of reach with her. She's a good mom to the baby. A little lazy with Dylan. Isn't getting him to school every day. But other than that I can't call her a bad mom enough to have the kids removed. And if I could have them removed, that would mean we are raising them! I just don't know if we are up to raising a baby again. It's one thing for them to all live here. I love having my babies here where I can love on them every day. It's quite another to take total care of them. Kinda feel like we are between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what the future holds, but I hope it works out for you.

[Holly5.3 423]

I can totally relate. I have 5 grown kids. My 29yr old daughter now has 2 kids and a drug problem. She has lived with me on and off since her first pregnancy and Dylan my grandson has always lived with me because frankly' date=' I don't trust her. She now has grace, 10 months old and we recently discovered she's using again. She denies it or says well I stopped 2 weeks ago. Just crap. Now she's taken the kids and moved 2 hrs away from us, saying she needs to get away from the access to drugs, her friends etc. in reality I believe it's me and her dad she's trying to get away from as she doesn't like us trying to make her get clean.

So here we are. Out of reach with her. She's a good mom to the baby. A little lazy with Dylan. Isn't getting him to school every day. But other than that I can't call her a bad mom enough to have the kids removed. And if I could have them removed, that would mean we are raising them! I just don't know if we are up to raising a baby again. It's one thing for them to all live here. I love having my babies here where I can love on them every day. It's quite another to take total care of them. Kinda feel like we are between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what the future holds, but I hope it works out for you.[/quote']

My heart goes out to you! I'm going through a lot of drama with my 19 year old daughter (pot, boys, alcohol....) my nephew's wife accused her of stealing from them around Halloween (right after my surgery) and my holidays were ruined. Now me and my sister aren't speaking as the situation and miscommunication continued to escalate! Her daughter, my niece lives with her with her 3 children because their father is a drug addict so she's been harder on my daughter than need be! Thank God I had my sleeve or I would be drinking snd eating my way past 300 pounds! Now I clean and organize when upset -my house is looking great!

[NurseGrace 509]

Wooo what to do now eh? My first thought was that now you have to cope with it like a regular person, but I'm not sure what that means either. Maybe take up a constructive hobby?

[*Dean* 1,594]

Thanks guys, think I will be doing lots of walking along the beach tomorrow.

So you better understand, I have 4 children, 3 have never given me any problems and then there's the other one. She is 29 years old and has a 6 year old daughter. I have virtually brought up my granddaughter but in order to keep her with her Mum I brought a house for them to live in and I pay for my granddaughter to go to a good school with Counsellors etc as my daughter has had drug problems and I wanted to be sure that the school would monitor my granddaughters wellbeing and safety and, of course, I am always close by and if in doubt I take my granddaughter home with me and care for her until I am sure that my daughter can care for her properly.

My partner and I are currently at our holiday house for a few days rest and this morning my granddaughter phoned and said she couldn't wake Mummy up. This has happened before but as I am away I had to send the police around to check on things. An ambulance was called but my daughter said she was fine and eventually they left.

This afternoon my daughter phoned to tell me she had just been to the doctors and is 5 months pregnant. I am just too tired to raise another child. I had to raise my 4 children on my own whilst working full time as their father died. I just want to have some life for me. Maybe I am just being selfish?

I feel for you Aussie. I've unfortunately seen this way way too many times

It's a catch 22 isn't it. Even though I've seen it too many times, I don't know what the answer is. Like a lot of drug uses it sounds like your daughter continues to take advantage of your kind heart.

The last thing you are being is selfish.

[AussieLady 521]

Thanks so much for the kind words and support everyone.

[AussieLady 521]

I can totally relate. I have 5 grown kids. My 29yr old daughter now has 2 kids and a drug problem. She has lived with me on and off since her first pregnancy and Dylan my grandson has always lived with me because frankly' date=' I don't trust her. She now has grace, 10 months old and we recently discovered she's using again. She denies it or says well I stopped 2 weeks ago. Just crap. Now she's taken the kids and moved 2 hrs away from us, saying she needs to get away from the access to drugs, her friends etc. in reality I believe it's me and her dad she's trying to get away from as she doesn't like us trying to make her get clean.

So here we are. Out of reach with her. She's a good mom to the baby. A little lazy with Dylan. Isn't getting him to school every day. But other than that I can't call her a bad mom enough to have the kids removed. And if I could have them removed, that would mean we are raising them! I just don't know if we are up to raising a baby again. It's one thing for them to all live here. I love having my babies here where I can love on them every day. It's quite another to take total care of them. Kinda feel like we are between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what the future holds, but I hope it works out for you.[/quote']

I totally understand where you are coming from. Your heart gets so torn, but your head is telling you something else and you end up in a complete battle with yourself!

[arthritis_me 12]

Is there a way you could convince her to get her tubes tied? Have you asked her, as incredulous as it may seem, if she wanted this pregnancy and if not, why not shut down that avenue for more future accidents. I don't know what to say other than take it one day at a time. You're crossed with the well being of the little ones and protecting your self and living the life you want to live. I say take it one day at a time, try not to react and LOTS of walks on the beach, I'm so sososososososo jealous of you with the beach right there. I'm totally land locked in a cold miserable town (mind you there's excellent employment here) but it would fill my heart with happiness to have a walk on the beach whenever I felt like it. Hugs, I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation.

[AussieLady 521]

Is there a way you could convince her to get her tubes tied? Have you asked her' date=' as incredulous as it may seem, if she wanted this pregnancy and if not, why not shut down that avenue for more future accidents. I don't know what to say other than take it one day at a time. You're crossed with the well being of the little ones and protecting your self and living the life you want to live. I say take it one day at a time, try not to react and LOTS of walks on the beach, I'm so sososososososo jealous of you with the beach right there. I'm totally land locked in a cold miserable town (mind you there's excellent employment here) but it would fill my heart with happiness to have a walk on the beach whenever I felt like it. Hugs, I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation.[/quote']

Yes the beach is my saviour. My photo is the view from my house. And yes, I have already thought about the tubes being tied. When the time is right it's a conversation we will be having.