Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

no family support for having surgery..lots of guilt though



Recommended Posts

In the end...misltoe you have to do this for YOU...You are the only one that can make the right choices for what goes in your body, or how much exercise to do...If YOU want it You have to get it...despite what they 'your family' are saying or doing...There is plenty of support here at LBT if you need but this has to be YOUR decision. Keep us posted... and Welcome to LBT we are here for YOU!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hello, i'm Jennifer. Even though you aren't getting support from home you'll find lots of support here. I'm not banded yet, waiting for insurance approval. I mentioned the band surgery with several of my friends I thought would support me. Wrong! so I dropped it. then there are those that support me 100%. My husband is on a need to know basis. I won't tell him until I have a surgery date.

Don't worry, you can do this. Just think how healthy you'll be in a few months.

Perhaps your husband is insecure about himself and feels threatened. Fear of the unknown can cause people that love you act crazy. I'm sure they have your best interest in mind. They'll come around. You just do what you know you have to do!!!

Take care.:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am right there with you!!! Are you my twin? I am self-pay, my insurance excludes it and we live the Dave Ramsey way. I am getting support from everyone BUT my sister who is a doctor. She has never had a weight problem so she can't possibly know what it is like to be me. I have struggled for years. I had a friend do the lap band last year and has been very successful. She is the reason that I am doing this for myself!

You will be fine. Look at it this way, when you have lost all of oyur weight then what will your nonsupporters say then?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was self pay too. Right after the surgery, I told my primary care doctor, who is a twit, that I had the surgery. His response was "I lost 40 pounds and all I did was eat 6 small meals instead of 4" and he pulled out his drivers license to show me the change. All I could say was "Good for you." People who should know better often don't get it..... so we hang with people who do!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Besty Jane: I guess I'm lucky, my primary was happy that I asked about being banded and was 100% behind me and even gave me the phone # to start the process. My insurance will pay 100% however, some of my friends are another story.

I'm going to do what I have to do for me and everyone esle is on a need to know basis and all they need to know is that I'm losing weight, looking good and much healthier!!

While the on-line support is good for all of us to question and vent don't forget finding a support group that you can attend in your area. The one here in St. Louis is great. We meet twice a month and each meeting we have guest speakers. My first meeting we had taste testing on Protein shakes we can make so we don't get tired of drinking the same old thing. New recipes for fat free dips, tuna ... plus major question and answers period.

Second meeting, a plastic surgeon. Last night a pharmicist. It's great to see others progress and make new friends that can eat all the same things as you.

I'm not banded yet but still want to encourage all!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Misltoe,

I am being banded on 12-19-06 and I have only told a few women friends at this point and my orthodontist. I think I will wait until after the procedure is done to say anything because I need to focus on being positive right now. I keep reading that it is important to have a good attitude so the recovery goes well. I have a laser

I agree with Wheetsin that obesity is a disease. I've been fighting this battle since I was 8 years old. Unfortunately, I inherited my mom's features from the neck up and my dad's body from the neck down! :girl_hug: I am now pre-diabetic and I need to get my weight under control so I don't get any sicker. I don't want to hear about how "lazy" I am, how I'm taking the "easy way out," etc. from people who don't understand that I need this tool to control my disease.

So, here's my advice: :lalala: Block out that negativity. It's time to focus on yourself--I would bet money that you spend an awful lot of your time doing everything for everyone else! It's your time to work on improving yourself. :xena_banana: If no one else likes it, then they can lump it! :girl_hug:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband was not supportive my kids were I just told my mother the day before because she had to go with me to drive me home otherwise I told a girl at work at work did not get much support at all but i did it for me and who cares what everyone else thinks i had to make my self feel better about myself in i other words i was desperate i have been on a perpectual diet since age 13 and i am sick of it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi,

You need to do this, and not let your husband stop you. My husband didn't agree with me getting the surgery either!

One thing, are you getting the best price possible? I was going for the

$17,000 surgery also in the US and I was having trouble getting my

insurance to cover it. They told me who to go to and they don't cover all

methods (i'm not sure about banding), also they wanted me to gain weight

before I went through with it! Yes I am 100 lbs overweight.

I researched Doctors in Mexico and was very happy with the price difference I saw, and forget the insurance companies and I did not

have to go through 3/4 of the paperwork and pre op requirements.

The hospital in Mexico was great, the surgeon was great, the after-care was great.

giantangel----Hugs

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mexico was GREAT and fun too. After getting the band I went to the beach, drove 1000 miles around the Baha and stayed in wounderfull hotels. My girl and mother-in-law ate at every taco stand. They had a blast teasing me with the smell. I walked all over TJ till 2 in the morning with them. The only trouble I had was pushing mom in the wheelchair up hills. As for the Americans with ignorant ideas, good luck to them. I would have prefered to stay at home in my local area for this. But I felt that waiting untill I saved the money to be banded at home would have been a death sentence.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Theweightisover2024🙌💪

      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        I had about 6 months between deciding to do surgery and getting scheduled. I came across the book The Pound of Cure by Dr. Matthew Weiner, a bariatric surgeon in Arizona, and started to implement some of the changes he recommended (and lost 13 lbs in the process without ever feeling deprived). The book is very simple, and the focus is on whole, plant based foods, but within reason. It's not an all or nothing approach, or going vegan or something, but focuses on improvement and aiming for getting it right 80-90% of the time. His suggestions are divided into 12 sections that you can tackle over time, perhaps one per month for a year if a person is just trying to improve nutrition and build good habits. They range from things like cutting out artificial sweetener or eating more beans to eating a pound of vegetables per day. I found it really effective pre-surgery and it's an eating style I will be working to get back to as I am further out from surgery and have more capacity. Small changes you can sustain will do the most for building good habits for life.

      2. Theweightisover2024🙌💪

        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I've hit a stall 9 months out. I'm not worried, though. My fitness levels continue to improve and I have nearly accomplished my pre-surgery goal of learning to scuba dive! One dive left to complete to get my PADI card 🐠
      I was able to go for a 10K/6mile hike in the mountains two days ago just for the fun of it. In the before days, I might have attempted this, but it would have taken me 7 or 8 hours to complete and I would have been exhausted and in pain for the next two days. Taking my time with breaks for snacks and water, I was finished with my wee jaunt in only 4 hours 😎 and really got to enjoy photographing some insects, fungi, and turtles.
      Just for fun last week, I ran two 5Ks in two days, something I would have never done in the past! Next goal is a 10K before the end of this month.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Teriesa

      Hi everyone, I wrote back in May about having no strength. I still get totally exhausted just walking from room to room, it’s so bad I’m using a walker with wheels of all things. I had the gastric sleeve Jan. 24th. I’m doing exactly what the programs says, except protein shakes. I have different meats and protein bars daily, including vitamins daily. I do drink my fluids as well.  I go in for IV hydration 4 days a week and feel ok just til evening.  So far as of Jan 1st I’ve dropped 76 lbs. I just want to enjoy the weight lose. Any suggestions or has anyone else gone thru this??  Doctor says just increase calorie intake, still the same. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Stone Art By SKL

      Decorative Wall Cladding & Panels | Stone Art By SKL
      Elevate your space with Stone Art By SKL's decorative wall claddings & panels. Explore premium designs for timeless elegance.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Losing my hair in clumps and still dealing with "stomach" issues from gallbladder removal surgery. On the positive side I'm doing better about meeting protein and water goals and taking my vitamins, so yay? 🤷‍♀️
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×