HE JUST DOESNT GET IT!

[JPSnAZ 33]

I just had my first appt with the surgeon a week ago and I should be having my surgery in July. I have already started mourning the loss of food, just knowing that things will severely change. I guess because of this, lately I have been eating more of the things I love since I wont really be able to (& shouldnt) eat these things anymore.

My fiance has been getting upset with me and my eating habits lately. He doesnt understand what its like to be fat or to love food (as much as I do). He says that I shouldnt eat like this just because Im getting surgery. I know I shouldnt. But if I could help myself, well I wouldnt be fat then would I?

It just makes me mad.... He has no idea what its like and yet he criticizes me about it.

I know things are going to change and I just need time (& I have it) to process it before the surgery. I have my 1st psych appt next week so I hoping it will help too.

[Traci J. 207]

Hey JPS, I think we all had our "food funerals"; however, please remember that you will be able to eat most of the foods you love after your surgery, albeit maybe 3-6 months out. The thing with VSG is you don't have any real food restrictions, just recommendations. You can eat anything your stomach can tolerate, but your cravings will fade for the junk foods. I haven't been hungry since the day of my surgery and basically only eat to get my Protein in. Since I'm not hungry, and can't eat but 1/4c. of food at a time, I focus on protein (chicken, eggs, lunch meat) and don't even really want anything else. My hubby has made Cookies several times, had ice cream (which was always my weakness), and I have been around alot of cakes lately due to work parties...but I honestly have no desire to even have a bite. They just really don't interest me anymore. My point is, there is no need to mourn food, cause you'll eventually get to eat them again and you will savor every 2 bites of it you can have. Good luck and I wish you all the best.

[Annie B 89]

I did something similar. I didn't eat massive amounts of food, but I did eat every single thing I thought I would miss after. However, Traci is absolutely right - you are not prohibited from eating anything. You just can't eat the quantities you used to. For me, I do get hungry. I also miss being able to eat a large volume, however, I'm praying that will change. I do find myself tempted, but then I remember that my stomach can hold so little, that I better make it worthwhile. I have had every one of my food weaknesses offered to me over the past 3 weeks, and I looked at them, knew I was allowed to eat them, but just decided not to - why open the door to foods that landed me in this spot in the first place? I'm not a food lover - I'm a junk-food lover. It was a road to obesity and diabetes. I'm now on the road to weight loss and glucose control. I'm not mourning the loss of food at all, and I hope you don't either.

[JPSnAZ 33]

Hey JPS, I think we all had our "food funerals"; however, please remember that you will be able to eat most of the foods you love after your surgery, albeit maybe 3-6 months out. The thing with VSG is you don't have any real food restrictions, just recommendations. You can eat anything your stomach can tolerate, but your cravings will fade for the junk foods. I haven't been hungry since the day of my surgery and basically only eat to get my Protein in. Since I'm not hungry, and can't eat but 1/4c. of food at a time, I focus on Protein (chicken, eggs, lunch meat) and don't even really want anything else. My hubby has made Cookies several times, had ice cream (which was always my weakness), and I have been around alot of cakes lately due to work parties...but I honestly have no desire to even have a bite. They just really don't interest me anymore. My point is, there is no need to mourn food, cause you'll eventually get to eat them again and you will savor every 2 bites of it you can have. Good luck and I wish you all the best.

Thank you, I know that I will eventually not want my favorite foods anymore, Its just hard imagine it right now! I just cant wait til my surgery date is sooner & here! Its hard to prepare mentally when its so far out. And it is comforting to know that I can still eat everything I want and it will be nice to just WANT one or two bites and be done.

Im just having one of those days I guess.

[fyre_storm 1,412]

All I have to say is your surgery is in July that's 5 months away so if you keep eating like that your livers not going to shrink and your adding more risk of something happening during the surgery if you've gained a lot. I would think your food funeral would be a few weeks before surgery not 5 months. So don't let it get to you! On the other hand you have more time to lose it lol. Your fiancé is getting on your case cause he loves you! If he didnt care he wouldn't say anything! And it's great you have a good support person! Oh and you can eat whatever you want after a few months from surgery minus like breads and stuff. Just be happy!!!! You'll be like why'd I even care a few months after!!!!! Lol

[circa 333]

Its hard - when people you love don't understand what you're going through. But you don't understand what he's going though either. He has to sit and watch you do this - its destructive behaviour. The surgery is supposed to make you healthier, but he's watching you make unhealthy and harmful choices on your way to this supposed healthy choice for a better life. So he questions, criticizes and remains confused. Then you come here and question, criticize and remain confused about his actions.

food funerals may be normal to people that have them, but they're not to people who don't. Its completely bizarre to someone who has no concept of it. Please remember that he's asking questions and trying to understand. Look at it from the outside in - exactly what you're asking him to do.