please help! I afraid I will chicken out

[himalaya62 221]

I went to a support group tonight. Problem is I am having my sleeve on Feb 5 on the east coast of Florida and I live on the west coast (about 2 hours away). My insurance only paid for Cleveland Clinic Florida which I am thrilled with but its a long way to go for the support groups. I decided to check out a support group here in my hometown and although they had good intentions and everyone was so nice, I freaked out and started crying. I was the only one in the group of about 25 that was pre op. Although everyone had good results (except one who started drinking soda and beer post op and stretched her sleeve), it brought it all to reality to me. I'm scared to death. I am an active "social butterfly" who loves to have fun and enjoy evenings and happy hours out occasionally with my friends. Many said its not possible anymore. They talked about how difficult it was to change their lifestyles and how they just stopped going out because the temptation was too great to have a cocktail. I am by no means an alcoholic and I am 50 years old so this has been a big part of my life for a long, long time but I do enjoy a couple drinks after a tough week on the job, a day at the beach, a cold beer at baseball game, sharing a bottle of wine with my husband at a nice romantic dinner, etc. You get my drift. Even my job requires me to attend work related networking events and business trips. And it's not just the drinks, it's just how everything will change and I love the way my life is now except for the fact that I am obese. Can I tolerate the changes I am about to undergo? Can I really do this? Am I going to regret this decision? Am I going to start refusing to go out or to the beach or hang with my friends anymore? Will I still be a fun person? AUGH!!!!!!! This is so much harder then I thought and I cant stop crying. Help!!! I don't want to get this far just to chicken out!!

[kristikay 60]

I am having my surgery on Tuesday and had/have a lot of the same concerns but from reading posts on here and talking to my NUT I think we will be able to have a normal life after awhile. We will just have smaller portions and need to limit our alcohol a bit more but I don't think that we can never have a drink again. Mine NUT said a drink or two down the road will be okay just not carbonated. That is a biggy for me because i love beer! But I will love being thin and healthy more!

[Optimist01 3]

OK, here's the 411... you will not be able to eat (more than a couple bites and I mean a couple of bites!) or drink (other than Water or Protein shakes) for the first 2-3 months. After that, you will be able to eat about a palm size portion of food at one sitting but still will not be able to drink liquid while you eat or it will be very painfull for you. Drinking alcohol is not a good idea. After 3-4 months, maybe a small glass of wine once or twice a week but that's it.

The thing is, you don't need to eat a lot or drink alcohol to have a good time, to relax, or to socialize. You need to realize this, really understand this, and know that if you do the sleeve you can still have a good time, relax and socialize ... it just won't include (a lot) of food or (much if any) alcohol. Life style change. That's what this is about. That's how we lose weight, and that's how we gain a new life.

[healthpro 6]

I agree with optimist. It is a lifestyle change and a serious one at that! You have to decide what is more important. The foods and drink you enjoy as a part of your social and work life,that helps keep you physically where you are now. I know you want to feel better and be healthier:) You should definately keep reading literature and get an understand that once you have surgery the eating and drinking change. There are pros and Cons to consider snd you should weigh them all.You may want to talk to the Psychiatrist again about your feelings which is ok:)

Godspeed to you on your journey!

[iggychic 1,405]

My job is community relations. I party for a living (WIthin reason LOL). I am also a social butterfly at heart and always have been...both when I was thin and when I was at my heaviest.

I am four months out from my first surgery and three from my second. I eat out, attend and host parties, drink wine, even champagne (but only on occasion...the champs...I drink wine regularly). I attend two to three functions a week and eat out gad...five or more times. I have wine with meals and it is not painful...I just don't have as much as I used to. (my doc allows limited beverages with meals, as long as it is under 4 oz and not with every meal).

Nothing you mentioned, aside from maybe the beer, will be off limits. I have no issues at a cocktail party. I just have what I can handle and don't graze all night. I enjoy a glass of wine or two without problem. I do not get drunk easier as many others do (though I don't drink hard liquor). You can continue to have the same kind of life you've lead, but you'll just drink and eat less.

I am the FIRST to tell you that there are lots of reasons not to have this surgery. I regret it significantly, but not because I can't eat or be in social circumstances due to discomfort with eating or drinking. If that's all that is holding you back, don't worry about it It's no big deal.

[mikeross 216]

I regret it significantly, but not because I can't eat or be in social circumstances due to discomfort with eating or drinking.

care to elaborate????

[slimmerdan 0]

Yea, I kinda want to know too!

[iggychic 1,405]

care to elaborate????

I was a low BMI (35) with no risk factors, no comorbidities, no family history of comorbidities (but a family history of being overweight). I had significant complications and nearly died. I was away from my family in hospital for weeks and couldn't be in my son's life for a couple of months. The costs are staggering financially, but the real costs are what it did to us, to my son in particular. He needs me and I nearly left him for what was basically a cosmetic procedure

For this I regret having had this surgery and always will. Yes by the way, I've lost weight, but in the weights and balances it doesn't pencil out. The risks were not worth the rewards FOR ME. If I were the king of the world this surgery would have a much more stringent process for approval than it does now.

So I regret it for that reason, but I wanted the OP to understand that her social life isn't going to be negatively impacted by this surgery. There are changes, but not entirely negative ones and being as it sounds like we live a similar life style socially, I felt it was fair to share that with her

[himalaya62 221]

I appreciate your honesty. I need to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. I know about the risks involved but its far riskier for me to continue to live at this weight much longer. I have bad knees a torn ACL three herniated discs in my neck had a back fusion in my lower back,high cholesterol, GERD, plantar facsitis and my father past away at the age of 65 after 4 heart attacks. Plus everyone in my family has diabetes except me but.....it's going to happen if I don't do something about it. My BMI is 43. I have a job that requires a lot if walking and socializing so looking good is also an issue. Sorry to say but we live in a world where the skinny girls get all the business and success. Thanks again for your response. It is greatly appreciated. I'm feeling much better today and I'm going through with this on 2/5. ????

[kyllfalcon 768]

So much of my life revolved around food. I am a very good cook, if I say so myself, and I loved to do it. I am an accomplished cake decorator, and I loved to do it. My relationship with my husband started around food 20-some years ago and continued to be centered around food. I was sought out for cooking advice. My coworkers asked me to make this or that for the group. I hosted all the family get togethers.

Of course I was terrified about the impact on all aspects of my life: family, marital, work, social.

But guess what? No impact whatsoever. I still cook and bake for my family and coworkers. My husband and I still enjoy good food together. I still decorate cakes, but not as often, because I really will kill myself licking icing. I still host all the family get togethers. I just send most of the leftovers away, keeping just enough to enjoy one more meal of Thanksgiving goodies or whatever.

I will say I don't enjoy eating out as much, but strictly from a practical point of view. I don't eat much, and it doesn't take me long to do it. I get fidgety while the others eat - but I'm not envious of them. I just don't feel like it's not worth the time or money anymore, but I go when I need to for social reasons.

I never did drink much alcohol and still don't, but I will enjoy a drink now and then.

It was altogether anti-climactic really.

Oh! Almost forgot!! I just turned 60 and my coworkers threw a pizza and birthday cake party for me. I ate almost one slice of pizza, kinda greasy, and a pretty decent sized piece of cake! Just like everone else, except they ate an entire piece of pizza or maybe two.

[sarahzamudio1091 185]

Girl I feel ya !! I loved my beer!!! I am12 days out and enjoying my wine as we speak ! Don't worry about it at all best decision I ever made

[himalaya62 221]

You can have wine 12 days out? I was told one year. Damn!!!

[iggychic 1,405]

You won't find a doctor who advises it before two months. At 12 days you are still healing and need to stay away from it. If you can't go a couple of months without it, you probably should look to other issues you're having

Many docs say avoid it for the first year because it's high in useless calories. I account for every glass on MFP to be sure it does not take me over any limits carb or calorie wise. I also wouldn't have it if my doc didn't advise me it was ok.

[imworthit 156]

Girl I feel ya !! I loved my beer!!! I am12 days out and enjoying my wine as we speak ! Don't worry about it at all best decision I ever made

I'm 3 months out and still haven't had a drink!!!

[himalaya62 221]

I'm feeling much better today. My anxiety had gone away. I think I was having a moment but alls good and I am back on track!! Who needs beer anyhow! Not this old broad!!!