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Compulsive/ Binge Eating



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I am a compulsive binger (had bulemia at weight 350...and everyone thought it was impossible)it occupied my life full time,bingeing and purging.

I still have massive blowouts and funny enough it is just when I manage to lose some weight...I just have to sabotage myself all the time...

What irks me is a blow out now is a fraction of what I use to be able to eat,yet I still gain weight faster than anyone I know.

anyway,little bit more self control every day and cut the carbs.they make the bingeing so much worse I find...

keep going,decide daily...what options do we have but to persist until we succeed?That thing about if not at first you succeed try,try again...its all one can do...baby steps.

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Boy sometimes it's hard to be happy just doing baby steps, but I think it's the way we can get past the binge problem. Every time I don't freak out and go on a binge when I think about something I like, I congratulate myself and feel really, really good about it. Now if I can just do that more often, someday maybe these silly little baby steps will be giant leaps, like what it sounds like Jack can do.

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When we go on a BINGE we leave a good portion of reality behind us. The BINGE is all consuming and until it has run it's course... WE dissapear too! Not literaly just as a figure of speech..ha! And if we think long and hard about it...isnt that what we are trying to make happen after all? Don't we all just want to disappear off the face of the earth?

I am so tierd of the SHAME associated with this disease! There is soo much isolation and depression! So many people just think we lack will power, when that could not be the farthest from the truth! I would like to see these same people follow the dieting we have done in our lifetime, then we can talk will power!

I just know that every single day of my life I wake up with the very best of intentions. I pray for strength and courage and Divine guidance to overcome my compulsive eating addictions! As somebody just said...I give it to God!

I am still struggling daily, but starting this thread and reading about what you all are also going thru makes it easier. Stay strong and true to you!

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Terrilen and all else concerned

I really use to feel exactly like you do until I started low carbing.It is horribly limiting and I low fat and low carb so no nice high fat treats and foods....but when I cut my carbs way back I just somehow have control over my appetite.Cannot explain it but it really really works.

It is not easy but it is a heck of a lot easier than being as unhappy about myself the way I use to be before.Healthy,unhealthy??Good for one,bad for you?Who knows but it really works...Maybe you can try cutting carbs and up the Protein to .6 grams per pound bodyweight and a 2 to 3 cups of green or white veggies per day (including Tomato, bell peppers ect)

Anything is better than just having to give in to one's uncontrolled eating..the way we bingers do.

Good luck and when someone finally manages to really overcome this,please let me in on the secret of how.

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I just have to tell everyone that I am so totally proud of myself!!!!!!!!!! After my binge yesterday morning I decided to go on Clear Liquids again to help my stomach recover.....isopure, Water and broth......and I did it! I have never in my life binged and not kept going.....I woke up feeling so powerful like I think I can really do this!!!! I know that this is just one of a series of battles I am going to encounter in this war with food....but like Jack says it is about today, about the choices that I have the power to make!!!! I am not a slave to food! I will not be a slave anymore. This thread really helped me yesterday...so thank you all. ps Jack my two year old really likes your dancing bannanas!

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It is kinda funny how this topic reached my conversations today. I gave my family an Atkins kit I found online, one to each household. My brother, who has been on Atkins for two months now plans on cheating on Christmas. He has the pie ready to go down. I told him he needs to forget eating the whole pie and go for a little slice if he could do nothing at all. He says that with him it is all or nothing. I have found it to be the same with me. I tried to explain to him that it is a carb addiction and basically put it like this: If a cocaine addict is to be reformed, they must go cold turkey. No one tells them to take a little hit three times a day to survive. With a carb addict it is the same, we need to stay away from the carbs to be reformed, because one hit will turn into a whole pie, just like one hit for the cocaine addict will turn into many. He basically, just said I was crazy.

Then I told him about being on Atkins for 3 years with no slips, then one day I was off (my last meal syndrome before the band), now I find it hard to stay on Atkins for more than 3 days. (Primarily because my band will not allow me to eat my favorite Atkins receipes, and partly because carbs have taken over my life again.) The addiction has taken hold.

As a female, I have found that the Schwartzbein Principle diet is better for me because of its mix of Vitamins. It has been found that females will go off low carb faster than males (or so her book says) because of a lack of Vitamins we need, like B vitamins, E, etc... This lack of vitamins causes a binge cycle for us. So we need to look at both the physical need for some foods as well as the mental.

As Jack stated, simple carbs are our crack. We just have to find a way to live without it.

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Poodles: Don't think too bad of your brother... it was the drugs talking (pie).

I've done Adkins more successfully (lbs. lost per diet) more often than any of the other diets I've used. And I've used them all. But when I fell afterwards, I always fell hard! Nothing is more all-consuming than a taste of carbohydrates after a long spell of Adkins!

At the insistence of a doctor who treats women to help them achieve overall good health, I tried the Schwartzbein diet a couple of years ago. I actually felt better than I had in a long time. But it was so restrictive and took so much time and planning, it was very difficult for me to stay on it. Within a few months, I was off the wagon and taking my crack hits (carbs) as fast as I could get them. Which led me to my last hope, the LB surgery.

Recently, one of my friends from high school who has fought the pounds all his life, who weighs a lb. less than he did at age 16 (he's now 60), insisted over and over ad nauseum that I buy and read the Blood Type Diet by D'Adamo. I fought it tooth and nail because I was sure it was just some other diet gimmick. He wouldn't give up and I finally relented. After reading the theory behind it and reading the book every chance I got a free moment, I started wondering if it really might be the answer to this wrecked overeight body.

I am just phasing into it, in a reasonable way, nothing too far from the norm. I had to go get my blood typed (which they didn't do before the LB surgery). I found out that, if D'Adamo's theory is correct, since I'm a Type A, I was killing myself with the Adkins diet. The jury is still out since I am just getting into it, but it has so much promise for the ever-eluding good health and ability to conquer the binge compulsion that I've been hoping for and fought for so long.

I can report back in a few weeks, if anyone is interested. And if you're at a bookstore, find it and scan it and see what you think. Blood Type diet book by D'Adamo.

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What is wrong with me?

Well I "tried" to eat right and I must admit I did ok with the eating good stuff part, but when it came to the eating stuff that was bad part, i did even better.

As I posted before I went pecto(seafood)vegatarian where you eat tofu and veggies and nuts and stuff but you include seafood. Well I have kept to it but that damn chocolate crack kill's it for me.

Just yesterday my husbands grandmother came over and what did she bring us for christmas? food. sugar free candy(which is loaded with fat) and such. So i went in the room and staired at the gift bag with this little or rather big green box of russel stoffers milk chocolate for what seemed like an hour.... then blam! I was like "ok, christy just one piece, the package states 5 pieces is 190 calories, so if you eat just one you will be ok"

well dont you know, one ended up being the whole box of like 25 pieces?

I ate that whole box in a day/night.....

So last night I got sick, this wierd sickness of a headache and gas and such and food seemed like blah crap. but what i realized is i ate a little handful of nuts and it filled me up....

I am tired of the pain when eating to fast or to much.....i'm tired of feeling bad.... So today i woke up to start over, i had just a tofu scramble which was yummy but only a little and yet in my head im dreaming of sweets and french fries....

what makes it worse is im in los Angeles and on march 1st i am moving to knoxville TN to help raise my 5 yr old daughter, something i thought id never get the chance to do but was asked... so everytime i'm stuck saying "hey you christy, you keep shoving that stuff in how are you going to be a roll model"

AAAAAHHHHHHHH! I'm so lost.:help:

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I felt great on Atkins, and did well, for awhile. I felt great on diet pills, and did great, for awhile. I can't eat carbs! I can't eat sugar! I can't eat sugar substitutes! I can't eat mayonnaise! I know they set me off binging. My feeling now is that there is no diet that works. For me, it's about whole food, raw food, unprocessed food, and lots and lots of variety and fun spices and herbs. Lots of veges, some Protein, a few fruits. And a Protein Shake now and then.... Whenever I vary from that, I'm toast! So I can putz through a day pretty well, usually. BUT I have trouble in my car! Good grief! Seems like I'm on autopilot to junk food in the car! I guess I'll always be plugging holes in the dam. Did you ever play whack-a-mole? That's me and bad foods......

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I just pulled out my Atkins book and read something that might help. It says if you find yourself craving carbs to increase your fat/protein and minimize simple carbs.

It also says to keep Snacks in your purse, like nuts to help that draw to the Mickey D's...

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You guys are such an inspiration to me. I feel your pain and I have the exact same issues all of you have. I also know I'm in great need of extensive therapy. Not only for my eating, but for other issues I have never dealt with that helped get me here to begin with. Sometimes when I'm binge eating, it's like an out of body experience for me. It's like I am another person watching myself eat and not being able to control it. I just hate it so much! For example, a few weeks ago I bought some Little Debbie Apple Flips. I like them because they're not too sweet. Before I knew it, I was going back for more after I had eaten 2. And going back for more after I'd eaten 4, until the entire box was gone. I could see and feel myself eating, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. After I was finished, I felt horrible and finally just cried myself to sleep. I have decided I'm going to see a therapist to help me deal with all of these issues, or I will end up right back where I started; fat and miserable. I hope everyone else who has responded will make the effort to get some help. All of us need it.

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Here's what I know about me. I binge when I eat any carbs. I graze on crap when I am bored...or driving. And I'm just learning to enjoy that "just full" feeling, and how to look for it. Sometimes it just whispers and I have to be able to hear it. For me it's about being quieter with food...slower, gentler, listening for cues...being mindful. It's a lot to learn, and I don't expect to get it all immediately. Maybe I'm in denial, but I don't think I need therapy. But I might need Overeaters Anonymous. Seems more like an AA type support group would help.... or maybe a behavioral therpaist....

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Although I am new to the board and am not even banded, I have been in recovery from bulimia and compulsive over-eating for over a year. My first step began at the Renfrew Center in Philadelphia. It's an all-female, intensive in-patient facility for women with eating disorders. I can honestly say that it saved my life. The Renfrew Center also offers programs in other cities on the East Coast some in-patient, some out-patient. They teach you how to get your LIFE back from food.

Last fall, my whole life was centered around binging and purging... then starting a diet.... then failing at the diet.... then binging.... then purging. I was so miserable but I didn't think it was that serious and I certainly didn't need an in-patient facility!! It was serious and I did need it. Binging has serious long term health consequences not to mention obesity. I do realize that I am preaching to the choir! Purging ie. throwing up, using laxatives, abusing exercise can have disasterous consequences. I will for the rest of my life have a heart problem due to a prolonged electrolyte balance.

Anyway, back to the Renfrew Center as a treatment option. Am I crazy? Nope....okay a little. But only when I dance! Now, I'm in control of my binging and purging and I'm ready get rid of this weight. I sound like an infomercial but seriously, go to the website (google Renfrew Center) and look around. If this sounds like you, SEEK HELP!!

Finally, I know some of you are looking at my age and asking what can a 20 year old really know about a life long addiction to food? My mom is a nutritionist/dietician, my dad is a doctor and I've been sneaking food since I was 4 years old. I'm an aspiring singer who was so committed to bulimia that I neglected the damage I was doing to my vocal folds by essentially pouring stomach acid on my throat. But, I didn't have a "problem." Nope. Other people had problems. I wasn't "depressed" and if I could just gather some gumption, I could stop by my own "will-power." I was lying to myself and was completely disconnected from reality.

So I guess, I have a little plea. Please get help. Take back your life. This is a progressive disease that needs to be treated. Eating disorders affect men and women of ALL shapes and sizes.

Don't wait until you pass out in the Union Square subway station because your heart isn't working right. That floor is NASTY! =)

With love, Sheila

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