I really need help/orientation

[paulaleiva13 8]

Hey guys =)

It is 5:38 in the morning and I haven't been able to sleep thinking about this surgery. My parents talked to me last night and asked me how I felt about the surgery, and my answer was "I don't know, its already scheduled so let's get it over with."

I think I should tell you my history a little bit:

Weight has always been an issue with my parents. MY weight to be exact. I actually had liposuction when I was 15, and I lost weight but I gained it all back when I entered college last year. Ive tried diet pills, diet, exercise, Gyms, everything. . My parents have talked about this sleeve since the middle of last year and I didn't want to so it. They tried to convince my boyfriend into persuading me into getting it around the beginning of January. When we talked about it he said "I'm sick of your parents being so obsessed over your weight and this surgery. I would get it done just so they don't bother you anymore". I said I felt the exact same way. So after fights and fights I said okay...I'll do it.

I just want them to leave me alone.

Here's the thing, I'm not "sure" I want to do this. I love to eat. I love food. I would be a chef if I could. I Love to cook and try new things. I'm known for eating a lot, and for not caring if I'm thin or not. I know this surgery isn't about being thin, it's about being healthy. Yeah I know. It just seems that being thin is all that matters here.

I

I'm scheduled for surgery on the 22nd of this month and I'm absolutely freaking out. I don't know if I want to do this. I need help...please. I need orientation.

[paulaleiva13 8]

Sorry for writing so much. I have so much on my mind.

[college_chick 20]

I'm not an expert on any of this and I'm new to this whole process but my feeling is please don't do this for someone else. It sounds like there is already resentment between all the parties involved and I think it will only get worse if you go through with this surgery. Regardless of what your family thinks please consider what YOU want for YOUR body and for YOUR future. Hate to be blunt but there will come a day when your parents are no longer around, what will you feel like about your body then? This is a life altering change and not something that can be "fixed" if you dislike it. The way I see it you have until you show up for surgery to change your mind. Please think about this in terms of YOUR life, not anyone else's.

[college_chick 20]

Also you mention that you just want them to leave you alone. If you go through with this surgery, I don't think they will magically disappear. I think the discussions will still center around your weight, how you are doing, what you are eating, what you are doing about exercise, etc. I don't think this surgery is the answer to getting your parents to stop talking about your weight.

[fatGreek 20]

Hey guys =)

It is 5:38 in the morning and I haven't been able to sleep thinking about this surgery. My parents talked to me last night and asked me how I felt about the surgery' date=' and my answer was "I don't know, its already scheduled so let's get it over with."

I think I should tell you my history a little bit:

Weight has always been an issue with my parents. MY weight to be exact. I actually had liposuction when I was 15, and I lost weight but I gained it all back when I entered college last year. Ive tried diet pills, diet, exercise, Gyms, everything. . My parents have talked about this sleeve since the middle of last year and I didn't want to so it. They tried to convince my boyfriend into persuading me into getting it around the beginning of January. When we talked about it he said "I'm sick of your parents being so obsessed over your weight and this surgery. I would get it done just so they don't bother you anymore". I said I felt the exact same way. So after fights and fights I said okay...I'll do it.

I just want them to leave me alone.

Here's the thing, I'm not "sure" I want to do this. I love to eat. I love food. I would be a chef if I could. I Love to cook and try new things. I'm known for eating a lot, and for not caring if I'm thin or not. I know this surgery isn't about being thin, it's about being healthy. Yeah I know. It just seems that being thin is all that matters here.

I

I'm scheduled for surgery on the 22nd of this month and I'm absolutely freaking out. I don't know if I want to do this. I need help...please. I need orientation.

[/quote']

I know hope you feel I have Greek parents and they can be blunt like this. The hard facts are if we don't do anything we will die. Our parents love us we love food, one has to give.

They know you so well and know you need a kick up the back to get you going. Just imagine how great you will feel losing all that weight. It must bother you if you had Lilo at 15. I hope you do it. It's not easy but neither will death at a young age. Keep positive be happy that's the trick. Even if you feel down pretend your happy after a while it will become real as you would have re focused your negative thoughts into positive ones. I bet secretly your boyfriend wants you too lose weight also as he would point blank disagreed with your parents instead of saying to do it to keep them quiet. Life is about life not food xxxx good luck x

[NurseGrace 509]

Oh god, this sets off ALL KINDS of red flags in my mind. Have you talked with your surgical team about these feelings. I am sure they would be uncomfrtable operating on someone who is being coerced by their parents to have surgery. This is something that you have to want for yourself. There is a very important book I want you to read called

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Your parents are WAY overstepping, and I might add, setting you up for an unhealthy relationship with your boyfriend. They have zero right to speak with him about your weight and that is a huge problem for me, and it should be for you too.

[shuhnaynuh 142]

Man oh man, this surgery changed my life and all that jazz, BUT as someone that voluntarily had it - wanted it even - I still miss food and having a normal life. My family focused on my weight as well (they are all slim/fit - my mom weighing in at a whopping 120 lbs) anyway, what I'm trying to say is I understand where you're coming from BUT! I wouldn't do this unless you were 100%! There is no going back and not only is this surgery physically challenging, but mentally as well and you really need to be in a good frame of mind to handle this... I beg you to reconsider, at least until you want this for yourself... Honestly, you don't even look big in your picture! I hope you get the results that you want out of this, whatever they may be

[leeann71 539]

Maybe you should join a gym or something to show them that you are getting healthy instead. If I were you, I would not get the surgery. I believe you are not ready for it. Like everyone has said it is life changing. It is a forever change. One more thing I, myself didn't do this only to be thin. I did it to be healthy, so I can spend as many years as possible with the ones I love here on this earth. Good luck hope you find a solution to your problem :-)

[mokee 588]

Please think this over, it is not too late to back out. I am 66 with many health issues. I had this surgery for. My health. I wanted it, no one else wanted it for me. It changes your life more than you can imagine. I am 7weeks out and still can only eat 3-4 oz at a time and usually only twice a day. That is a half cup. Put a half cup on a plate so you can see how much this is.

I am only telling you this because you need to want this for yourself. Did you see a therapist? Did you discuss this with them?

Best of luck and may god bless you.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

let's get it over with."

Weight has always been an issue with my parents. MY weight to be exact. liposuction when I was 15,ms, I didn't want to so it, parents wanted it for me

would get it done just so they don't bother you anymore"after fights I said okay...I'll do it.

love to eat. I love food., it's about being healthy.don't know if I want to do this.

hun, you sound very young - this is a hard decision for anyone any age to decide on major surgery for weight loss

you are more than doubtful about the surgery (like many of us are/were)

you hint all over the post that you really don't want the surgery - but you'll give in just to shut your parents up!!!

if you have the sleeve - you'll be the one that needs to follow all the hard rules of the sleeve - from drinking 64+ ounces of Water, to all the other Water rules for the rest of your life

eating very small portions. i'm sure (i hope) you know totally whats involved with everything post surgery

this is a forever new life that you need to adhere to many new rules

you can loose the weight if you follow the rules - and work with your sleeve - the sleeve "assists" you, acting as tool in helping you to loose lots of weight.

But you have to do a lot of hard work for the REST OF YOUR LIFE to keep the weight off for good

it is not a quick fix - no way, no how

you must want this for yourself - you can't do this "to give in to your parents"!!!

your serious doubts - even admitting you don't want surgery - IMO it would be a mistake to have surgery just to please your parents

All parents only want the best for their children - but you need to do this surgery for yourself, not your parents

i'm so sorry your parents have been on your case all your life

just because surgery is already scheduled for january 22nd, doesn't mean you can't change your mind and cancel

sure you 'could" talk to someone about your concerns - maybe a friend or relative

if you have the surgery it must be because you want it!!! you yourself, no one should push you

IMO you need to stand up to your parents (it will be hard) but having an invasive surgery???i

if you don't want it now????don't do it

good luck

[vonego82 36]

Hello Ms.

okay, ummm... I want to be very honest as you have been.. You are known for eating a lot and not caring if you're thin or not. You are unsure if you want to have surgery------> I think you might need to talk to your surgeon and reschedule your surgery date for another day. You need to think long and hard if this is what you want. Let me tell you there is not one person here that has regretted this amazing new lifestyle, but I agree with you, if this isn't what you want, PLEASE don't make the mistake of going thru with it. Here's what I deal with: Protein Shakes, 2-4oz of food! compared to the full entree, I used to eat. I still get embarrased when my bf and I go out to eat because he's still eating and I'm done eating haha, also; there are a lot of food restrictions your body will not tolerate. For example for me: boiled/steamed veggies, any meat, and; rice, pastas, breads! within months we'll be able to eat these foods, but I'm choosing to be vegan as for I just decided I didn't need to eat meat.

see what I mean, and a lot of us any like this!! So make sure you do it for you and not your parents!

best of luck!!!

[Beautyandbeyond 227]

I'll have to concur with pretty much everyone here, if you don't want the surgery, DON'T DO IT! You will be the one who will have to go through the physical pain and discomfort of surgery and God forbid you experience any complications. Trust me even if you have the surgery your parents may find something..."now she's too thin!"

Perhaps take this opportunity to have an adult conversation with them. Thank them for what they have instilled in them ect but moving forward you will not have anymore conversations about.your weight and if the convo ever heads in that direction exit stage left.

You are so beautiful and I know what its like to want your parents to be proud and pleased, however now is the time to create boundaries. hugs

[paulaleiva13 8]

Thanks everyone =) I'm really still not sure why to do, but I'm still leaning towards actually doing this. Maybe it'll be okay.

[SweetnCurvy 112]

Hey guys =)

It is 5:38 in the morning and I haven't been able to sleep thinking about this surgery. My parents talked to me last night and asked me how I felt about the surgery' date=' and my answer was "I don't know, its already scheduled so let's get it over with."

I think I should tell you my history a little bit:

Weight has always been an issue with my parents. MY weight to be exact. I actually had liposuction when I was 15, and I lost weight but I gained it all back when I entered college last year. Ive tried diet pills, diet, exercise, Gyms, everything. . My parents have talked about this sleeve since the middle of last year and I didn't want to so it. They tried to convince my boyfriend into persuading me into getting it around the beginning of January. When we talked about it he said "I'm sick of your parents being so obsessed over your weight and this surgery. I would get it done just so they don't bother you anymore". I said I felt the exact same way. So after fights and fights I said okay...I'll do it.

I just want them to leave me alone.

Here's the thing, I'm not "sure" I want to do this. I love to eat. I love food. I would be a chef if I could. I Love to cook and try new things. I'm known for eating a lot, and for not caring if I'm thin or not. I know this surgery isn't about being thin, it's about being healthy. Yeah I know. It just seems that being thin is all that matters here.

I

I'm scheduled for surgery on the 22nd of this month and I'm absolutely freaking out. I don't know if I want to do this. I need help...please. I need orientation.

[/quote']

Having Gastric Sleeve Surgery is not something u do to “shut someone up“, this surgery is very serious. Making YOU happy should be the first priority in this situation.

[paulaleiva13 8]

Maybe in the long run it'll be good for me. Maybe I'll be happy.