My Story... For better or worse

[Yasmine 109]

1/13/13

I am 35... Married with 2 kids... Ages 16 & 17

We started off young LOL

Well to be honest- Being a mother and wife consummed and defined me. Over the years I put myself on the back-burner, and my body packed on the pounds 5 pds here... Another 5 there :/

Before I knew it- Years went by in a blink of an eye, and I found myself lost! The 2 titles I held dearest... Mother & Wife were fading. I was dealing with my two children who mean the world to me... Pushing away. I guess impart it's normal for High Schoolers to distance themselves... But I wasn't ready for the change... Especially from both at the same time! Oh how I missed the days of elementary & junior high!

Next my Hubby... My partner since the age of 16 1/2... Had an affair... Yes It was the most painful and hurtful experience I have ever delt with. I had NO idea... He was Sooooo sneaky... This went on for 8 months until I found out. My kids knew about the affair, because the lady contacted them via Facebook. And their way of coping was to confided in one another, and for my sake not tell me. The truth finally came out once I found out that my daughter was "cutting", and the reason why :'( Honestly this was too much to bare... I felt like I was in horrible Spanish- Novela

My kids were growing... and dealing with the effects of my crumbling life. My marriage was hanging by a thread. It was time to focus on repairing damages. My main focus was the kids, and offering them comfort and stability. Next myself...I started to eat less... Mostly due to stress, but after a while I made the choice to change. I watched my diet, and started to work out. The weight started to come off. I went from 310 - 240.

Since I wasn't sure if I would still have insurance through my husband I started the process for WLS. I had played with the idea for 5-yrs or so. But finally I was ready!!! I was sleeved on Nov. 12th, 2012 in Fresno, CA.

As for my family... We have attended counseling, though the church and privately, and some how we are still standing. My children are happier & healthy ... and my husband and I are working on reconnecting... I'm still a Mother & Wife... The only difference is that I finally am taking care of me.

I realized... I'm not just a Mother and Wife... I'm a person too!!! What did I do to myself... My highest weight was 310. I felt unhealthy & ugly. Over the years I excluded myself from actitives due to embrassment. I was tired of feeling like a failure... I wanted to renew my life!

I'm only 2 months out, and I know that WLS was a great choice. It may not fix everything, but the changes in my personal life and weight are getting better!

Thanks be to God O:-)<

[AdeptDreamer 104]

Hi

I just wanted to say you sound very strong. I admire your courage, and that you knew what mattered most. Also I hope you know he cheated because he's a pig not because of you or your weight. If Halle berry gets cheated on, you know something must be wrong with men :/

And congrats on the sleeve, I hope you had a smooth recovery

[shawn9x9 16]

Bravo....... Very inspiring .... God bless you very happy for you.

[Yasmine 109]

Thanks... I'm working on renewing my Life... Health & Priorities!

I'm pleased with my weightloss... Currently I'm 204. My Dr wants me at 145. Not sure if I want to get that small???

I'd be happy at 165-175... I think?!?! I'm Puerto Rican, and we have hips Lol

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[shawn9x9 16]

You look good yasmine.... Proud of you

[KickRocks 163]

Wtg! You are so beautiful! ( before and after!)

[firelle 146]

You are beautiful, brave, and strong!!

[Yasmine 109]

Thanks everyone... I really debated posting this thread - Because it's soooo deep and personal. But it was a release, I found it to be therapeutic! I must admit, I paused several times while writing because I was so emotional.

I'm thankful to have this forum to vent, and release. Not only my weight has weighed my down... Holding on to my feelings, and not being able to confide my experience to friends/family has been difficult.

(Only a few trusted people know of the affair & now my WLS)

I figure... Since my weight is coming off- I might as well lessen my mental load too. Feeling lighter Lol

Thanks <3

[chitowngirl 885]

Wow you look great. I am also married and a mother. I did noticed that I was starting got loose myself in my titles. It's hard as a mother because our first concern is usually for others. However if we really want to take care of others and make them happy, we must be happy and taken care of ourselves. It's hard and almost not natural to try to make myself a priority, however if we don't no one else will. Best of luck to you on your marriage and with your kids.

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

Thanks everyone... I really debated posting this thread - Because it's soooo deep and personal. But it was a release, I found it to be therapeutic! I must admit, I paused several times while writing because I was so emotional.

I'm thankful to have this forum to vent, and release. Not only my weight has weighed my down... Holding on to my feelings, and not being able to confide my experience to friends/family has been difficult.

(Only a few trusted people know of the affair & now my WLS)

I figure... Since my weight is coming off- I might as well lessen my mental load too. Feeling lighter Lol

Thanks <3

I think sometimes the mental loads we carry is heavier than the extra weight. Congratulations on taking care of you. You are certainly a wonderful model for your children. Continued success to you!

[Jenipher 28]

Wow is all I can say..... I'm speechless my problems are nothing compared to what you were and still are going through. But I have to agree with you on losing myself in my titles. I am guilty of that as well as women we take our roles very seriously. Our families need us to keep it together. You would think that the way we take care of them they would reciprocate some of the attention back to us. But we are on our own at least we have each other. Thank you for sharing your very inspiring to us all. You could have continued feeding your problems with food but you turned it all around and said ok enough already!!! My son's father is Puerto Rican and he cheated on me a lot when we were together. I finally just said enough already and I haven't looked back since. He regrets it every time he has to look in my face and see me happy with someone else. He knows his cheating broke up our family. I've been married to a faithful man for 14 yrs now. Thank you for making me appreciate him all the more. God will carry you through your storm nothing is to heavy for him!! Keep moving and losing to bring you happiness, you deserve it.

Jenipher

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

made the choice to change

Yasmine

sorry you have been dealing with a lot these days

Good for you that you are realizing your importance!!

You are strong, good for you for standing tall, and realizing your importance

putting yourself first - working on yourself - getting healthier, happier, proud, becoming self-confident , all these new happenings will touch everyone around you

"they" will be thrilled for you

you feeling better about yourself will make everyone happy

congrats on your continueing weight loss

good luck

[DanaInNewOrleans 513]

Congratulations on finding YOU and becoming so strong!!

You look wonderful -- before and after WLS!

I wish you and your husband all the success in the future....

~Dana

[Yasmine 109]

:-)

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[MOMW 71]

What a great story of finding yourself and taking care of you even when the world around you is trying to tear you down. I hope your heart feels lighter for sharing your inspiring story. Continue to stay strong and fight for the new you that is emerging