My Story... For better or worse

[suejersey 263]

Congratulations to you on regaining your identity and YOUR LIFE! God is good. If you both put God first in your marriage he can and will heal it! So happy for you that you are taking care of yourself. Keep up the great work!

[lose2win 32]

Congrats on your success mamacita

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[Yasmine 109]

Thanks Everyone...

[Territravel 217]

Thanks for posting your story. Never doubt for a second that your brave, beautiful and on your way to being healed!

[punzel426 19]

1/13/13

I am 35... Married with 2 kids... Ages 16 & 17 <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

We started off young LOL

Well to be honest- Being a mother and wife consummed and defined me. Over the years I put myself on the back-burner' date=' and my body packed on the pounds <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> 5 pds here... Another 5 there :/

Before I knew it- Years went by in a blink of an eye, and I found myself lost! The 2 titles I held dearest... Mother & Wife were fading. I was dealing with my two children who mean the world to me... Pushing away. I guess impart it's normal for High Schoolers to distance themselves... But I wasn't ready for the change... Especially from both at the same time! Oh how I missed the days of elementary & junior high!

Next my Hubby... My partner since the age of 16 1/2... Had an affair... Yes <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /> It was the most painful and hurtful experience I have ever delt with. I had NO idea... He was Sooooo sneaky... This went on for 8 months until I found out. My kids knew about the affair, because the lady contacted them via Facebook. And their way of coping was to confided in one another, and for my sake not tell me. The truth finally came out once I found out that my daughter was "cutting", and the reason why :'( Honestly this was too much to bare... I felt like I was in horrible Spanish- Novela <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />

My kids were growing... and dealing with the effects of my crumbling life. My marriage was hanging by a thread. It was time to focus on repairing damages. My main focus was the kids, and offering them comfort and stability. Next myself...I started to eat less... Mostly due to stress, but after a while I made the choice to change. I watched my diet, and started to work out. The weight started to come off. I went from 310 - 240.

Since I wasn't sure if I would still have insurance through my husband I started the process for WLS. I had played with the idea for 5-yrs or so. But finally I was ready!!! I was sleeved on Nov. 12th, 2012 in Fresno, CA.

As for my family... We have attended counseling, though the church and privately, and some how we are still standing. My children are happier & healthy ... and my husband and I are working on reconnecting... I'm still a Mother & Wife... The only difference is that I finally am taking care of me.

I realized... I'm not just a Mother and Wife... I'm a person too!!! What did I do to myself... My highest weight was 310. I felt unhealthy & ugly. Over the years I excluded myself from actitives due to embrassment. I was tired of feeling like a failure... I wanted to renew my life!

I'm only 2 months out, and I know that WLS was a great choice. It may not fix everything, but the changes in my personal life and weight are getting better!

Thanks be to God O:-)<[/quote']

Wow, thank you so much for your courage and honesty to share. I went thru something similar with my husband approx 2 yrs ago and there are certainly some trust issues. Allegedly with my husband though there was no physical but more emotional which I personally think is worse. My heart is still broken, our marriage have since been up & down and I still haven't had my surgery and I'm really hoping me being self confident will help our marriage but at the same token I am terrified it may destroy our marriage.

I still feel I have resentment and I'm worried when I lose weight and begin to get different attention from him I will feel more resentment. I'm afraid my feeling would be "why couldn't you always love me the way I love you" regardless of the physical appearances. Marriage is suppose to be thru "better or worse". I am committed to my marriage and making it for the long haul but I am truly afraid of what will happen after surgery.....

Any suggestions how to make it thru and not let resentment consume you???

Thanks again for sharing!!

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[Diamondeyed 399]

Go you!!!