Excited, Nervous, Thinking too Much!

[petra1124 33]

Hey guys!

I am still pretty new to this site, and I am very early on into the process...I am nervous about insurance, but excited for the next couple months of appointments, they cant come soon enough!! I am excited to think about how my life will be if/when I get the surgery, but nervous about possible complications...I just keep thinking too much!!!

I was working late one night last week and went through reading all the posts in the complications catagory and almost scared myself out of getting the surgery. But I think that the very low risk of complication is worth changing my life. Ive been obese almost my whole life (diagnosed with hypothyroidism at age 13, overweight since age 10 or 11). Ive tried dieting, exercise, everything...and while I am able to lose 10-25 lbs temporarily, it never stays off and I fall into my old eating habits. THIS also makes me nervous...never being able to have the foods I love...or will I be able to? My in-laws got me a Pasta machine for xmas (something I've been wanting for years). I realized last night after talking about making Pasta with my husband that I may not ever be able to even EAT pasta after surgery...will I ever be able to have a bite or two of the foods that I love? I love to cook and Im scared I wont be able to eat anything other than bland food for the rest of my life. From what I gathered at the seminar I will eventually be able to eat foods Ive normally eaten, just in much smaller portions. Ive had my gallbladder out for going on 3 years now, and so I stray away from fried and fatty foods, but a few times a month I might indulge and have a small portion of a fish fry (usually just eat the fish and only a bite or two of the breading) or some french fries. Will I ever be able to eat a french fry?! I know that this thinking is bad...but I figure that even people of regular weight are able to have a few french fries once in a while.....

Mostly I am scared of complications, although I have a (relitively) lower BMI [required for the surgery] 39 right now, I am opting to get this surgery because I have high blood pressure and I am pre diabetic. Diabetes runs in my family and I want to reduce the risk of getting this. I also want to be able to model healthy eating habits for my future children so that they might avoid leading a life of obesity. I want to be able to do physical activity without feeling like I am going to die. I used to ski and I want to ski again so badly!! I want to go for a jog or hike with my husband who loves the outdoors.....I most of all want to be healthy with no blood pressure or other major health issues!!

I am also nervous about telling family. I brought up surgery to my step mother (is a nurse) who expressed that I am a 30 year old woman so I can do what I want, but strongly advised against it due to the risks. My step mom and my father are both very health concious thin people, and I feel like they just dont understand what life is like for an obese person. I feel like they will think that Im trying to take the "easy way out" and Im not even sure if I want to tell them about the surgery until after Ive had it. Im scared about being judged, but Im judged every day for being obese.

I could go on and on, but I dont want to rant....thanks for listening guys!

[Newme4ever 12]

Hi Petra 1124, you took the words right out of my mouth. I felt the same way this past week. I'm scheduled for the 24 th and all fear and concerns have played over and over through my mind a million times over . I decided that I was not going to tell anyone except for my husband and my children. I don't want to hear anyone's negativity . This is not the easy way out like I've heard when I expressed to a friend that I was interested in doing this. And guess what even if it is so be it, this is for our health and well being,I want to enjoy my children and do what I love to do with them, just like you, I am nervous that we can't eat the things that we used to but I keep telling myself that is what got me here in the first place. I'm sure in time we can eat what we want in super small portions ( works for me) . Once we start losing weight everything will fall into place . We will do great ! Good luck and don't let anyone discourage you. We are finally doing something for ourselves. ( at least for me everyone else came first and I put myself on the back burner , not any more) ttys

[petra1124 33]

Thanks so much for the support! It is nice just to be able to share feelings with someone who could actually relate! I have support from my mother (who has also struggled with her weight for most of her life) and my husband. My husband is of a normal weight, could stand to lose 10 lbs, but still in the normal range. I have seen him gain weigh since we first started dating, and I dont want my bad habbits to continue to affect his life either! We have both agreed to adopt a healthier lifestyle, surgery or no surgery and are trying to include more physically active activities in our life. Right now I have to be careful of losing too much weight (was told this by my PA at the bariatric center), because if I go under 210 I will not be eligible for the surgery (236 at the moment). So we are watching what we eat and trying to walk more.

[petra1124 33]

Is there no one else who might be able to answer some of the questions I have?....feeling a little let down here, the one place I thought I could get some more support.

[michelleooo513 245]

all I can say .. since I'm not getting surgery untill the 26th of feb... is after the honeymoon phase is over you can eat what u want in moderation. if u deprive urself of everything ull probably end up back to where u started. with that being said... you gotta use.comment sense. it doesn't mean go fry everything and have a bucket of fries. AND btw u can still eat noodles... just make sure they are what noodles

[SoCalDixieGal 172]

I've also read a lot of the forum posts and from what I can gather there may be foods that you might not be able to tolerate well after the surgery. However, for others they can eat anything but in much smaller quantities.

It seems that the more successful longer term sleevers make healthy choices, but don't eliminate any one particular food. That's our "old" diet mentality and we know how successful that is! You won't be able to sit down to a huge plate of Pasta (one of my favorites as well). But it's likely you may be able to have some in the future.

But, at least for the first several months that is off the table. Personally, I like the idea of getting rid of the huge piles of junky foods and replacing them withe small quantities of very high quality food. Besides if you eat one lovely homemade ravioli and are completely full, how is that any different than shoveling in a dozen of them to be full? How often do we truly savor and taste the food we eat today?

As to the complications - you already have complications from being obese and they aren't going away, but will get worse. You are facing possible complications versus real current complications.

[petra1124 33]

I would love to be able to have 1 or 2 ravioli or a couple bites of Pasta instead of having a whole bowl full!! And I agree, depriving myself of the foods I love is the worst part about dieting! I want to be able to have healthy and enjoyable meals without being able to eat tons of it...or even wanting to eat tons of it...

[twinRN 10]

Petra,

You and I are similar. I am about as far in to the process as you and have doubts now and then, but then I get on here and all my doubts go away. I'm 35 and my BMI is 38 and I have high triglycerides and high fasting blood sugar. So I'm not diabetic yet, but w/ my fasting sugars and the fact that my identical twin is already diabetic, I'll take the small chance of possible risks over the ill health effects I'm already having. Nicely put by SoCalDixieGal

I am an RN and I'm getting surgery so don't feel bad like you're taking the easy way out! My primary care doc who is skinny is AWESOME and she said it nicely when she said I'm taking control...as are you.

I think the rate of leakage complications is 1-2% so I'll take that over the 50% chance I have of getting diabetes. I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant so that increases my risk.

You will be able to have foods you had before but in much smaller amounts and not until probably 6 months to a year out (at least that's the idea I've gotten from these boards and my classes I've had so far:)

Good luck to you, wish me luck that my insurance approves me! They say they want a BMI of 40 or 35-39 w/ co-morbidities which I have, but they seem to be more strict for the sleeve than the bypass which seems backwards doesn't it? Oh well, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

[petra1124 33]

Thanks so much for the support twinRN! Sometimes I feel crappy about not being able to keep the weight off, but Ive struggled my whole life...its hard when people can be so negative, but I like what you said about taking control! I need to take control now before I mess myself up for life.