New here...

[onelessfatgirl 103]

Hi I'm new here. Been lurking around a few days. Finally deciding to post.

I'm 29. Married 9 yrs, with hubs for 11. Our kids are 5 & 7. I have a similar "fat story" as many others here. I was a stick thin child but ballooned at puberty. My husband has seen (and accepted) me at all sizes. I'm so thankful for his unconditional love and support! But, my weight has gotten out of control. I suffer from knee pain, back and neck pain, and acid reflux. I'm now between 260 & 270 and I'm barely 5'5. My family has a long history of those who struggle(d) with diabetes, stroke, and heart disease. Last year we lost my aunt at 50. I'm getting pretty scared of this body I live in. I haven't recognized the face in the mirror for years. I'm not even 30! I have so much life to live!

I've considered wls for A LONG time. Each time I'd talk myself out of it thinking that it'd just give myself a few more months or a year trying a different approach to weight loss. Nothing was ever the "right fit" and I'd always gain more back than I'd lost. But I'm finally mentally and phyisically ready for the necessary, life changing (read: saving) transitions I and my family will need to make.

I don't have a surgery date set yet though I have had my consult, know what my insurance will cover, and have all my pre-op appts set for this month. I'm thinking I could be in by the end of March.

My question though, is this... For those of you with young kids, what kinds of things did you tell them? My boys are very compassionate and I'm sure will worry if they know I was getting surgery. My hubs and I do have some idea how we'll handle it with them but I thought hearing from others would be good, too.

Thanks in advance!

[JennyBeth 127]

My boys are 8 and 5 and I told them the truth. I told them mommy is overweight and unhealthy. I'm having an operation to help my tummy lose weight so I can get healthy again. I won't feel well for a little while, but then I will feel a LOT better and look better, too.

[onelessfatgirl 103]

That's pretty much what we were planning on.

How did they react? What kind of questions/cond did they have?

[Ballermom 803]

Welcome you will find great support here.

I'm waiting for my Surgical date. I have 5 boys!

2 younger ones I'm waiting till weeks before the actual date to tell them. I feel I don't want to overwhelm them. But I will tell them I'm having a procedure done. I will talk about food a little too.

Family needs to know. My youngest is 5 then 11.

Your right I'm concerned bout the younger on

Ones.

The older onesI talked to early on.

[chely135 0]

Hello when I had my surgery date I told them the truth. I have 3 girls an 18, 14 and 8 year old. I waited til I got my date amd told them.

[Ballermom 803]

As I post my first one I decided I will tell the truth just not till I get a date!

My 5 year old is my inspiration. I dream of going to the park with him. He actually was going with my skinny Neighbor last summer. I want to be the skinny Fit Mom on the block.

[Ballermom 803]

I have 2 in college and a 16 told them in the beginning the truth!

[JennyBeth 127]

Mine had questions like, "how long do you have to stay at the hospital?" (I've only spent 1 night away from them for a business trip and obviously I spent a few days in the hospital when I had my youngest, but my older son was only 3 and obviously doesn't remember much)

"who will stay with us and take us to school?" (I told them daddy and grandma)

"If grandma is at our house who will feed her dog?"

The operation itself doesn't seem to worry them right now just the logistics of everything else. Once we talked about it and I explained everything they were fine. I know they'll have more questions/concerns as the day gets closer (I don't have a date yet I just know it'll be Feb/March timeframe) I just believe being honest is the best way to handle it. I don't want them to feel like I'm keeping stuff from them because that is much scarier to a child. When I was young my mom was very sick with cancer and my parents tried to "protect" my sister and I and it just made my anxiety/fear much worse!

[onelessfatgirl 103]

Thank you for the responses. It's been helpful to hear how those with similar age kids have responded.

I by no means want to lie to them. I pride myself on being very honest and transparent with people, even my family.

My husband and I will tell them oune we know the date and logistics. I just want to be as prepared as possible.

Thanks again!