I hate this surgery.

[fatGreek 20]

What Exactly Is A Stall?

The last time I was on Weight Watchers (June 2011 through February 2012)' date=' I lost an average of .9lbs every week and I followed the program religiously.

Forum members report first month losses of 20, 30, and even 40 pounds and then refer to a two- to three-day hiatus as a stall?! I don't get that.

The body morphology has to catch up with the tremendous weight loss. That necessary phenomenon isn't a stall. A "stall" is what I experienced during my last month on Weight Watchers: no movement at all in close to 30 days.

A massive weight loss of 20, 30, and 40lbs in one month cannot reasonably be referred to as a stall.

I am only 29-days post-op but what I see is a two- to three-day "body adjustment (or catch-up) period" followed by another one- to two-pound drop on the scale. This is normal. You can't expect to see the scale drop every single day for an extended period of time. No one loses weight like that, not even malnourished cancer patients in the end stages of their disease.

What I've noticed is that during this "body adjustment period," I will not lose pounds but mass. My stomach will tighten a bit more and areas that used to have fat will have less (or no) fat.

On many other forums, they have a list of definitions of commonly used terms that members can refer to. Maybe we can agree that a "stall" means no movement on the scale for a minimum of seven days when weight loss was reasonably expected. Obviously, if I am consuming 3,000 calories a day, I can't reasonably refer to my failure to lose weight as a stall because I shouldn't expect to lose any weight.

The point of this post is not to be picayune (nor is this directed at anyone in particular) but to alert forum members to the fact that, when it comes to weight loss, mindset is everything. If you expect to see the scale drop every single day for weeks and weeks on end, you are unnecessarily setting yourself up for frustration, disappointment, and resentment.

I have lost 23lbs in 29 days: that's just over 1/3 of my excess weight in less than one month. The scale doesn't move every day nor do I expect it do. If I had experienced even 25 percent of this kind of weight loss on Weight Watchers, I NEVER would have signed up for the surgery.

Do you know how long it took me to lose 23 pounds on Weight Watchers? It took 26 very difficult weeks or half-a-year! This surgery has expedited my weight loss by a factor of 83 percent!

Should I be bummed-out, depressed, and resentful because my scale remains still for as many as three continuous days at a time? Should I refer to that three-day hiatus as a stall? Of course not.

Knowing what to expect and having reasonable goals are critically important to maintaining a healthy and positive mindset.[/quote']

Completely agree

[AussieLady 521]

I am totally amazed at how many people have this surgery and then whinge and whine about it. Didn't you do your homework? Didn't you do it so you couldn't eat so much food anymore and lose weight. Get some maturity and strength and embrace the decision you made. Maybe you can't eat so much anymore but you might live long enough to see your children grow up. Look at your priorities and see that food is not at the top of the list.

[Pelekania 156]

The first month is hard for everyone and everyone stalls at different times! I think you just stalled earlier than some but there are plenty of people that are and have went thru this same thing. Just be patient and the weight will come off! Trust me once it does you will love the decision you have made and will enjoy shopping in the smaller sections! !istarted at 240 now after 4 months I am currently 156 only 6lbs away from my goal! I wud do this surgery 3 more times if I had to!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using VST

Wow you look great and your weight cane off really fast!

[Mason 122]

I am totally amazed at how many people have this surgery and then whinge and whine about it. Didn't you do your homework?

I agree with you 110 percent in theory but I think there is more to this than immaturity or ignorance. Psychologists have explored this very phenomenon in what is referred to as the online disinhibition effect.

When online forum members are posting anonymously, they are able to express feelings and thoughts that they would never post if they were writing with their real names. Depending on your point of view and the purpose of the forum, this can either be a really good thing or a very destructive one. There are two basic types of disinhibition: toxic and benign.

Toxic disinhibition is frequently expressed as cyberbully and cyberstalking, i.e., making anonymous death threats towards another member, particularly one who is onymous. Benign inhibition often takes the form of expressing amorous or intimate feelings or, in the case in question, a regression in the service of the ego.

I think anyone with an I.Q. above 70 understands, at least in a very general and practical way, what it will mean to have 75- to 80-percent of one's stomach removed. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean it won't be hard and that there won't be regret. I am guessing the original poster knows that she can't return to her surgeon and ask him to reattach her old stomach. There is no other choice but to find a way to adapt to it. For some members, belly-aching anonymously on these forums and inviting the stories of how other members coped with the early stages of this surgery helps enormously with the adjustment. It's not my style or apparently yours but it does actually work for some.

Anonymity allows members to "whinge and whine" (as an American i would write "moan and groan"... smile) in a way they would never even think of doing if they were writing with their real names. It's self-soothing in the way that eating a whole quart (liter) of Ben and Jerry's ice cream had been before the surgery. It's an attempt at achieving an emotional catharsis in the same way a good cry in private often does, "Oh my God, what did I do?! Please tell me I didn't make the biggest mistake of my life!!"

___________________________

For anyone who is interested in this topic, just conduct a search on online disinhibition effect and, especially, look out for the work of Prof. John Suller, who's a major pioneer in this area of study.

[alley-gator 96]

I am totally amazed at how many people have this surgery and then whinge and whine about it. Didn't you do your homework? Didn't you do it so you couldn't eat so much food anymore and lose weight. Get some maturity and strength and embrace the decision you made. Maybe you can't eat so much anymore but you might live long enough to see your children grow up. Look at your priorities and see that food is not at the top of the list.

This has got to be one of the worst things I have read on this forum. If all you can do is attack people with your snarky, condescending, self righteousness then please refrain from posting on my threads in the future. I didn't post here to be attacked & treated like an idiot. Responses like yours are the reason that new members are afraid to post, because they don't want to be treated this way. For you to assume that I must have gone into this blindly is completely judgmental. I researched for over a year, and my form of research was more than looking at before & after photos. I read medical journals, research studies, death rates, complication rates, personal stories...I knew exactly what I was getting into physically & emotionally. That doesn't mean it isn't hard, and that there aren't moments of regret. And someone in that moment needs support that they did the right thing. They need a safe place to vent, not to be talked down when they are already feeling badly. It isn't as if I ate a cheese burger 10 days out and came here asking for absolution and to be cottled. I came here venting that I was frustrated with this process which, last I checked, doesn't mean I am the uneducated idiot you make me out to be.

In the future you should refrain from commenting on peoples post until you can say something constructive that adds a useful voice to the conversation instead of beating someone over the head. But I don't know, maybe that's how you treat one another in the outback.

[fatGreek 20]

This has got to be one of the worst things I have read on this forum. If all you can do is attack people with your snarky' date=' condescending, self righteousness then please refrain from posting on my threads in the future. I didn't post here to be attacked & treated like an idiot. Responses like yours are the reason that new members are afraid to post, because they don't want to be treated this way. For you to assume that I must have gone into this blindly is completely judgmental. I researched for over a year, and my form of research was more than looking at before & after photos. I read medical journals, research studies, death rates, complication rates, personal stories...I knew exactly what I was getting into physically & emotionally. That doesn't mean it isn't hard, and that there aren't moments of regret. And someone in that moment needs support that they did the right thing. They need a safe place to vent, not to be talked down when they are already feeling badly. It isn't as if I ate a cheese burger 10 days out and came here asking for absolution and to be cottled. I came here venting that I was frustrated with this process which, last I checked, doesn't mean I am the uneducated idiot you make me out to be.

In the future you should refrain from commenting on peoples post until you can say something constructive that adds a useful voice to the conversation instead of beating someone over the head. But I don't know, maybe that's how you treat one another in the outback.[/quote']

My sister is blunt like this I would not take it personally each person deals with the situation differently. One thing we all have in common is that we are all big. I think you both have valid comments although I must say I believe Alley-gator is the most mature in this instance from my personal point of view. Anyway guys lets all keep the peace and re focus our efforts on our flab!!!

[elektrik_rose 63]

@Alley-Gator POW!!!!! I love the come back! Some of these people on her need that. Thanks!!!!! :-)

[ArtSong 291]

I am totally amazed at how many people have this surgery and then whinge and whine about it. Didn't you do your homework? Didn't you do it so you couldn't eat so much food anymore and lose weight. Get some maturity and strength and embrace the decision you made. Maybe you can't eat so much anymore but you might live long enough to see your children grow up. Look at your priorities and see that food is not at the top of the list.

Rude much?

[amytug 996]

Alley-gator, what about all the positive feedback though? I know Aussie lady rubbed you wrong but I do hope you're taking in all the good encouraging replies too!!

(Hug) I learned about this procedure from a friend hat had just gotten it done 8 mos earlier. She told me that he first month is SO hard, because you have to learn to deal with life in other ways than eating. Then after that its just a way of life.

I hope that you start losing faster and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I second the suggestion for therapy. Couldn't hurt to get help.

[Brandywine 74]

At Mason, I just wanted to chime in and day I really like to read your posts they are smart and come from a different perspective

[alley-gator 96]

Alley-gator' date=' what about all the positive feedback though? I know Aussie lady rubbed you wrong but I do hope you're taking in all the good encouraging replies too!!

(Hug) I learned about this procedure from a friend hat had just gotten it done 8 mos earlier. She told me that he first month is SO hard, because you have to learn to deal with life in other ways than eating. Then after that its just a way of life.

I hope that you start losing faster and see the light at the end of the tunnel. I second the suggestion for therapy. Couldn't hurt to get help.[/quote']

Amy don't worry, I am, and I will respond to some specific ones that really helped, but I was up at like 5 reading it after getting a sick baby back down & couldn't take the time just then

[alley-gator 96]

hun

sounds like you didn't have any physical problems during or after surgery???' date=' thats great

so the main problem is you are now hungry???

you must have been aware that you would not be eating immediately after the surgery, and your way of life would be changing??????eating much less food - doing a whole new way of life with your eating

you made the wise decision to have WLS involving cutting out 85% of your tummy. this is not a decision i hope you made lightly - you chose to have major surgery!!!! i could tell you look smart

you wanted to improve yourself, be healthier, happier for yourself, family, for whatever other reasons too

looks like you have a lovely young family. you want to be able to run along that cute little one, cute big one too get healthy for them in addition to you of course

don't give up so quickly please ???

i "don't think" you mean it when you say "wish i was back where i started"???

do you mean you want to be that unhealthy person forever???

I "think" i know that you want to be better, and not go back to your old ways, that brought you to this point in your life

i feel bad that YOU feel bad - but please, give the sleeve a chance, its barely 2 weeks old, don't give up on it

we all deserve a second chance

chin up

don't give in/up before you've really started

good luck [/quote']

Hi proudgrammy thanks for your thoughful response I was aware I wouldn't be eating after surgery but that does not make it any easier unfortunately, so I was still having some hard times. I still do, and probably will for the rest of my life because like all of us, I like food way too much for my own good. Plus I got the 2 week curse of stalling earlier than everyone else, so while they lose weight I'm not. Not even inches! Ugh. But anyway, your response helped so thank you for taking the time to write it and your email as well. You truly are a good support.

[alley-gator 96]

The first month is hard for everyone and everyone stalls at different times! I think you just stalled earlier than some but there are plenty of people that are and have went thru this same thing. Just be patient and the weight will come off! Trust me once it does you will love the decision you have made and will enjoy shopping in the smaller sections! !istarted at 240 now after 4 months I am currently 156 only 6lbs away from my goal! I wud do this surgery 3 more times if I had to!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using VST

Holy **** girl you look A M A Z I N G. Great job lady!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

Anonymity allows members to "whinge and whine",moan and groan"... smile) in the same way a good cry in private often does, "what did I do?! tell me I didn't make the biggest mistake of my life!!"

Mason, as always, well put!!!

AussieLady - I'm going to "try" and give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't realize your words might be interprettated harshly - unfortunately thats how they were received

Alley-Gator is scared, upset about the WLS - regrets WLS like many OP do at first

IMO she is looking/asking for a little reassurance/help that this surgery wasn't done in vain

most people here are responding with positive thoughts - encouragement

thats what we're here for, to answer some questions, but to support each other

Alley-Gator (and anyone else) - please don't let the words of a select few - keep you away from the board, we want and need you

this board is invaluable - especially for NEWBIES

hope your feelings do sway more in favor of the WLS

As everyone says - it will get better

we're all trying to tell you that the WLS is terrific

you made the wise decision to be sleeved - don't second guess yourself, ok

we 'all" hope you come back to the board, and you will feel better/more optimistic about your sleeve

take care bud

good luck

[alley-gator 96]

Don't judge a life long decision by one week. Bowl parties that center around good isn't a good place for a 7 day post op person to be. Know where you are in your process and surround yourself accordingly.

WHY would stuffing yourself with crap food be better? You'll feel gluttonous and crappy for having done it.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

I was almost 3 weeks post op but its true, parties are hard. And for some reason even feeling crappy for me doesn't override wanting to eat. But I'm trying to fix that!