Other's opinions

[JennyBeth 127]

I am still in the Pre-op process (submitted to insurance today in fact!), but I have to say I find dealing with other's opinions (so far) to be extremely frustrating! I have only chosen to tell 3 people about my decision so far (husband, mom and 1 co-worker at work). My husband and mom have been supportive, but the look on my co-worker's face when I told her has kept me from telling anyone else! She didn't say much at all, but the look on her face said enough!

I can't tell you how many posts I've read on Facebook about losing weight (especially with the new year and resolutions) and doing it the RIGHT way vs. the EASY way and it makes me want to scream! Anyone who has not gone through this process or the changes you are forced to make has no idea that this is in NO way the EASY way! All of this makes me not want to tell anyone else until I start to show results so I don't get people's unsolicited/unintelligent opinions! How has it been for you to tell others either before/after your surgery?

[clk 3,519]

I only told people that would be worried about me having major surgery (my parents, for instance) and didn't tell anyone else until much later. My in-laws still don't know, because my husband is very private about things like that.

It wasn't until after I was already showing success and after I'd lost a considerable amount of weight that I started being open about the fact that I had surgery. Now, at goal (or at least, having reached goal before getting pregnant), I have no qualms about sharing information about my surgery. I will say that once you're already successful, people are less likely to say judgmental things about the "right" vs. "wrong" way to lose.

And anyone that really knew me (and therefore mattered to me) already watched me struggle for years to control my weight the "right" way only to fail time and time again.

I'd say keep it to your intimate circle for now. It's exciting news and we're tempted to share. But the reality is that too many people think that knowing about your surgery gives them a pass to offer opinions and judgment, as opposed to their support. And really, nobody wants fifty different people asking them each week how much they've lost or to babysit how much they're eating during the loss phase.

Good luck. Everyone encounters this choice, you'll have to do what you're most comfortable doing.

~Cheri

[kyllfalcon 768]

I've reached an age and a place in my life where I don't give a dang about other people's opinions. I told everyone and when I got that look from a couple of them, I just shrugged it off. I expected some folks to not understand, and I really understand them not understanding!! A couple of years before I even heard of the sleeve, my husband suggested the bypass and I gave HIM the look - how could he even suggest such a thing?!?!

Just do what is comfortable for you.

[Paul11011 372]

Hi JennyBeth. I keep trying to find an eloquent answer for how to handle uninformed people and for over 2 years now I really can't find one so I've concluded to just tell it like it is. If a person wants to find fault with me for taking advantage of a medical procedure that has added immeasurable years and quality to my life so be it. I do wonder if these same ignorant people find fault with cancer patients undergoing chemo, heart patients receiving by-passes or those hoping to get off dialysis via transplants. Be yourself and tell your story, it is who you are. Those that find displeasure will say so and you'll be better off knowing were you stand with them. An ignorant person will never learn a thing unless someone is brave enough to tell them the truth. Best of luck to you.

[deli89 5]

i've told quite a few people about wanting to get sleeved, almost all have been supportive with the exception of 2, 1 totally disagrees with my decision and the other swears that i can do it on my own, but what they fail to realize is that i have been trying to do it on my own for my entire life and i haven't succeeded. No one knows your struggle other than yourself, and the people closest to you such as parents, spouse, kids, even your primary care doc (depending on how long you've been seeing your pcp).