Who did you tell?

[Kelly1334 52]

I struggle with the same question but I decided if i was going to commit to this lifestyle I needed to be honest with myself and everyone around me. Also I knew I'd need help after surgery was over. I'm about three days out now and I'm happy I'm able to be honest. The hardest and most awkward was probably telling guys I've been dating.

I've heard nothing but positive feedback (even from my job) but I understand how there could also be negative aspects. It's a huge commitment and I applaud you for going it alone! Hope all is well

[Jenna P 1]

When I first decided to have the surgery, I only told my parents and older brother. Then, once I got mixed reactions from them, I decided I wanted to tell my friends. I started with just my best friends who I see a lot. It would be nearly impossible to keep it from them!! And then I decided I didn't care who knew...I'm proud that I got this surgery and I want people to know that it works. Of course I got the 'WLS is the easy way out' speech from some people. But luckily the people in my life listen to me and understood that this was FAR from the easy way out. I feel better that people know about it...they ask questions and support me and everything. And I made it clear to everyone from the beginning that they don't have to accept what I'm doing or agree with it. I was doing it no matter what because it's what I wanted. And now I have a huge support system and it's made things easier for me.

[NurseGrace 509]

I told my husband, my parents, his parents, and two friends. No one else.

[*Dean* 1,594]

I tell everyone who asks how I did it. I get asked often.

I've told so many people now I get sick of talking about it! I must have told over 100 people in 16 weeks.

Not one bad reaction. Some people really gush at what a great thing I've done, which I like. And they're right.

In the 16 weeks I've had 3 people get the ball rolling on having a VSG directly because of my story - my cousin, a work mate I hadn't seen for years and a daughter of a current work mate. She's about 3 weeks post op currently and loving it (you can have surgery a lot quicker in Australia).

Long story short - I love flying the VSG flag.

[SavannaA 6]

I love that this was posted. I'm pre-op right now. Surgery in 8 days in Mexico. I struggled a lot with who to tell at first, I told my closest friends and my family. My parents and grandparents are chipping in on surgery costs and my grandma is going with me to Mexico. Word spread through my family quickly and a few weeks after we set my surgery date, I got a call from one of my aunts telling me that this is the stupidest thing I've ever done and she doesn't even think I need it anyway. Really? I'm 22 and have a BMI of 41. I'm on 2 different medications for things that are affected by my weight, and you think I don't need this? So I just laughed and said "well, it's too bad I already bought the plane ticket and I'm an adult who can make her own decisions."

The closer it gets to my surgery day, the more people I tell. I've found that generally, everyone is supportive. Even if they're thinking this is the "easy way out," they understand its my decision and I make it clear that I am not doing this for cosmetic reasons. This is for my health. No one (other than that one aunt) has expressed their opposition. Many people are very happy and excited for me. They see it as a great opportunity. I recently started a blog to document my surgery experiences. In my irate blog entry, I gave a description of the procedure, it's results, and why I decided to do it. I linked my blog to my Facebook and my friends have responded very positively to it.

My advice-- do whatever you're comfortable doing. Tell whoever you're comfortable telling, but don't keep it a secret because you're afraid of the response because I think in most cases, you'll find more support than you expected.

[ShrinkingInSeattle 13]

I'm an open book , everyone knows and I've had zero negative support. I'm not going to lie and make up a magic diet I've been on ..

[SavannaA 6]

And by "irate blog entry," I meant "first blog entry".... Autocorrect.

[djmelen 22]

So I had the same problem who should I tell how will they judge? I always get but your not thst big to need sugary mind you I'm over 300 lbs the way I see it is this is life changing I'm going away with negativity! And that includes people if there not with it then they don't have to be a part of it after all the tears and fears they knew no matter whst anyone said I'm determined and I'm was going to do it took a little bit to come around but everyone is so supportive now! It's kind of like coming out of the closet for gay or lesbians but it has to be gone eventually and it's not healthy to hold things in! Not to mention when they do find out its worse cause most people feel dipped like your making a fool out of them but everyone's diffeent I have a new screw you policy lol

[Kelly1334 52]

So I had the same problem who should I tell how will they judge? I always get but your not thst big to need sugary mind you I'm over 300 lbs the way I see it is this is life changing I'm going away with negativity! And that includes people if there not with it then they don't have to be a part of it after all the tears and fears they knew no matter whst anyone said I'm determined and I'm was going to do it took a little bit to come around but everyone is so supportive now! It's kind of like coming out of the closet for gay or lesbians but it has to be gone eventually and it's not healthy to hold things in! Not to mention when they do find out its worse cause most people feel dipped like your making a fool out of them but everyone's diffeent I have a new screw you policy lol

Lol screw you policy I like it

[aquitenonnymouse 206]

I'm 25, and my husband has been on board from the beginning. I told my family once it was 'actually happenning'. Now that I'm 4.5 months out from surgery, if someone sees me and says "Wow! You've lost weight- you look great!" or something to that effect, I say "Thanks, I have!" If they ask how, or what diet I'm using, etc, I'll tell them I had weight loss surgery to help. I don't want to hide. If I can help other people too, I might as well bare myself. That is the biggest obstacle is that I'm kind of putting myself out there, but so far I've only had positive responses, and all of my friends are very supportive and proud of me. This is NOT an easy way out. This is a tool.

[VivaDiva01 53]

This is what I've been struggling with also! I'm still pre-op and both my parents know, my dad even went to the seminar and the consult with me, my 2 besties, and my aunt (who had the roux-en-y) and a cousin. Other than that, I've told no one. But I work at a pharmacy and I really don't want my co-workers to know...that's my biggest concern. Idk, what excuse I'm going to give for the off time I'll need to get the surgery or the meds I'll need afterward!!!! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!!! I'm not that clever when it comes to making things up! Lol

[Dreamingofhealth 223]

This is what I've been struggling with also! I'm still pre-op and both my parents know' date=' my dad even went to the seminar and the consult with me, my 2 besties, and my aunt (who had the roux-en-y) and a cousin. Other than that, I've told no one. But I work at a pharmacy and I really don't want my co-workers to know...that's my biggest concern. Idk, what excuse I'm going to give for the off time I'll need to get the surgery or the meds I'll need afterward!!!! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!!! I'm not that clever when it comes to making things up! Lol[/quote']

Hmmm maybe tell them you are on a medically supervised diet? And get your medication at a different pharmacy.

I'm happy to hear that your family is so supportive! I think that's a huge part of success!

Good luck

Sheena :-)

[YupthatsCyn 5]

Who did you tell about your surgery and why?

How did you explain your recovery/eating to those you didn't tell?

Ill start...

I'm 25 started out 31-ish BMI

5'4" close to 195 starting weight' date=' 185 by surgery time.

Now 175

Sleeved on December 18 2012

I told my best friend. That's it. I went alone. She was very concerned (more concerned than judge-y, but I think it's hard for a 5'5" 115 pound waif not to judge). I gave her my just-in-case letters. She couldn't afford the flight to Mexico.

I didn't tell my parents or any family members.

My parents wouldn't have approved (mentioned it to my mom who forbade it, and with a much stricter father I didn't even mention it to him). Some family members would have been understanding, but they've been known to tattle on me when they were concerned about something, so I didn't want to risk it!

During my recovery (holidays at home) I told everyone I had been in a horseback riding accident where the horse crushed me and they had to repair some internal organs (mainly the stomach - hence the diet restrictions).

Why did I keep it a secret?

Aside from the fact that my parents would have murdered me, I also won't tell strangers because people have an easy-way-out mentality when it comes to wls, and I want the credit for my weight loss! I don't want people to have the attitude that I got surgery and a year later I was a lot skinner (fingers crossed!)... People don't understand that it's not like that. Especially thin people who have never had weight problems which bothers me because they obviously don't understand what we go through.

As a completely unrelated tangent: I have an MSc and plan on getting a PhD on obesity work and I'd love for it to make a difference in the perceptions of the general population about the PHYSIOLOGICAL causes of obesity. I find too much media (biggest loser, dr. Phil, dr. Oz, etc) focus on the PSYCHOLOGICAL... "It's all in your head" kinda perception. Which is why 98% of those people gain their weight back and those who don't gain back need to maintain abnormally active lifestyles with uncomfortably limited portions because they treated their symptoms (the fat) not the cause (the physiological problem; hormones, etc).[/quote']

I was reading your story and this sounds just like me. I've only told my boyfriend and of course he doesn't understand why I need to go and have a WL procedure. I haven't told any of my family member just for the simple fact that, they won't understand and they would eventually worry and tell my parents and they would kill me. Good Luck with your journey!

[stefaniwg 172]

I'm 29 and am revising from the band to sleeve. When I got the band I told my husband, parents and sister. Other than my husband all thought I was crazy and "not that fat", but my whole family is overweight and has health problems. I'm revising due to band complications and only told my husband. However we are extremely private people and really don't like others all up in our business it's always been this way. I may tell my parents after its all over and when all is well or I may not. They know I am private but am also a ball of fire if they give me grief about it or told anyone without my permission. This is no different to me than not telling everyone I got a new car, job, house, purse or that I'm going on vacation. This is just who I am. I have lost lots of weight off and on thru the years so I'm sure no one will be suspicious when I pop up thin. Especially since I don't see extended family often. IMO this is your body and life and if you don't want to tell people that's your right.