Who did you tell?

[Primanna 2]

I don't really know if I should be responding to this... for two reasons.

First of all, I'm pretty early in the process. Second of all, I'm telling absolutely EVERYONE. Mainly through a blog that's linked into my Facebook account. It's amazing the positive responses I've gotten. Actually, the only negative responses I've gotten have been that of concern, and once I've talked to them about it they've changed their tone. And honestly, it's only been 2 or 3 people out of HUNDREDS.

But my parents are going to all the doctors appointments with me (I'm 25 yo)... and I can't imagine doing this without all the support.

Just my experiences, I don't mean to change anybody else's! Good luck to everyone!!!

[mandymay 31]

I pretty much told everyone. I'm not ashamed of having weight loss surgery by any means. There is still work that we have to do in this process, surgery isn't magic. I look at it as a tool. If people want to make judgments because I had this surgery, they can go right ahead and do so. I did this for myself. I'm very lucky to have such a great support group between my family and my friends and coworkers, but it someone in my life wants to react negatively towards me because of a decision I made for MYSELF...they can kiss my ass. lol

[pomeerin 44]

I think you both have really healthy attitudes towards it, and I'm jealous! My best friend just told me yesterday that she supports me no matter what, but she thinks cutting my body up and changing it forever is the wrong decision. I'm really struggling with that feedback from her. It's not *negative* per se, and she's still very supportive, but it kinda hit me hard. I really value her opinions, and now I'm doubting myself. With this much emotional turmoil just from one person's opinions, I'm not sure I could handle dozens of people's!

[Youngun 53]

I'm jealous of all the support you guys have!! Be thankful for that! I wish I had support - if I had support I would have told people!

[ladyluna22 9]

I've told my parents, my fiancé, and people on my tumblr (blog). My fiancé and I decided to tell my mother in law (cause she tends to cook a lot of food when we come over and wanted to give her a heads up lol). She told me not to do it and basically said i was crazy (in a joking concerned way). I plan to still do it but not tell so many people. I really thought she'd be supportive cause she wants me to lose weight but I guess not so I feel like everyone will be like her.

I think after the surgery, I'll announce it on Facebook. I want to be happy so I'm doing it for me, forget everyone else. I am happy to get support from the important people in my life though.

I hope others can get the support you need while going through this transformation.

[Dquarles 32]

Only 4 ppl know that I had surgery. I didn't feel the need to tell anyone in have ppl in my business. I told the ppl I needed to know in the event that something happened to me during surgery n they person I needed to take care of me when I returned home.

[Ballermom 803]

On the bright side' date=' I told my family doc and she said I was "an incredible young lady" and that she's proud I spent my money on my health. I was very pleased at her reaction![/quote']

That is the best thing one could tell you.

IMO.

Congrats to you

[mamachef 37]

I am in the public eye a lot so even though I am just starting the process I am completley open and honest about this journey. When you sing in front of a couple thousand peiple you cant hide much...

[Garlandfam 12]

Let's see my hubby knows of course...told my immediate fam (my mom, sis, and brother), one of my friends. My boss only knows that I am having surgery that is it! I feel that is my biz and if I want to share I will, but right now I don't feel like I am ready!

[moniq22 12]

Sometimes I wish I hadn't told so many ppl because some things annoy me like people only talking to me about it or saying things like "you've never been so thin before in your life" which isn't true.. I have been thinner I was thinner 2 years ago so it's not like impossible to remember so I kinda feel ppl feel forced to say something when I actually wished they didn't...

My friends and family have been really supportive so I'm fine with ppl knowing i wanted to be honest with them but my mom and dad seem to have told everyone they know so I get random ppl I don't really know asking how I'm feel and how much I've lost and stuff when I don't even know their names... Also something that makes me wish ppl didn't know is the fact that in the past as soon as ppl started noticing weight loss and saying things something would change in my mind and I would soon break the diet or whatever and stop losing so ppl saying something just because they know makes me feel like that's gonna happen again...

Anyway I wouldn't have done it without my family's support much less without them knowing, that would mean having to lie to them forever and I wouldn't be able to manage that...(no offense to ppl who decided not to tell theirs families but I'm my case I would never be able to pull that off)... My family has been really supportive and understanding and its nothin weird since my aunt had gastric bypass years ago and 2 of my cousins had their sleeves last year too also my dad is a doctor so he's pretty open to this kind of thing...

[fatrosie 176]

I didn't really have a choice about who to tell. I did this surgery self pay in the US and my mom paid for it, so she told a lot of people about it and her struggle to get the money together. I haven't announced it on my Facebook yet, just because I want to do a "big reveal" of sorts. When I found out my mom was telling everyone I had to get over the fact that it wasn't a secret. I was doing the absolutely right thing for my health and I don't regret it.

My boyfriend who doesn't have a weight problem was sooooooooo excited for me because he's watched me struggle with each new complication my obesity has caused. The nights I spent in tears due to my weight. He told EVERYBODY! So, no secrets here.

[Jacqueline Marie 73]

I am really glad to find this post. For about 2 years I kept it a secret that I was looking at getting surgery. I went to a few dr appointments and what not but never told anyone. MY family is all thin to thick, my parents push that working out is the key to all problems. Never fully understanding how I felt. I was scared to tell my family I didn't want to be judged. All the OMG what are you doing that for, just work out it will be better, just didn't want to deal with it. The 1 person I was most scared to tell was my father, he is strict.. eat this eat that work out your good.. One day he was looking at some papers I had, and suggested that maybe surgery was the best for me. That made me feel so good to hear that at least he is here to support me and would be by my side every single step of the way. He has been the one to push me to get my appointments done, bc even though it was out in the open I was still nervous to get it done. He has gone to all my appointments with me, never letting me go myself because he feels as though I am a grown woman you need that one rock solid person to support you on your choice so you don't question yourself. So far only my immediate family knows and 1-2 friends. I have come to this site for support so if you ever need to talk just send me a message. Sometimes it is nice to get feedback even from people that are in the same boat! I think when you feel confident in yourself, you will tell your family. This is your journey, and once your family sees you happy and healthy as a parent that is the only thing that should truly matter.

[jessicamarie75 6]

I told everyone. I had surgery for me, my health, and to be a better parent. If people want to judge, let them. It wasn't about them. It took me 28 years to learn to really love myself, this is bigger than that. It's about self preservation.

[NewKristen 356]

Who did you tell about your surgery and why?

How did you explain your recovery/eating to those you didn't tell?

Ill start...

I'm 25 started out 31-ish BMI

5'4" close to 195 starting weight' date=' 185 by surgery time.

Now 175

Sleeved on December 18 2012

I told my best friend. That's it. I went alone. She was very concerned (more concerned than judge-y, but I think it's hard for a 5'5" 115 pound waif not to judge). I gave her my just-in-case letters. She couldn't afford the flight to Mexico.

I didn't tell my parents or any family members.

My parents wouldn't have approved (mentioned it to my mom who forbade it, and with a much stricter father I didn't even mention it to him). Some family members would have been understanding, but they've been known to tattle on me when they were concerned about something, so I didn't want to risk it!

During my recovery (holidays at home) I told everyone I had been in a horseback riding accident where the horse crushed me and they had to repair some internal organs (mainly the stomach - hence the diet restrictions).

Why did I keep it a secret?

Aside from the fact that my parents would have murdered me, I also won't tell strangers because people have an easy-way-out mentality when it comes to wls, and I want the credit for my weight loss! I don't want people to have the attitude that I got surgery and a year later I was a lot skinner (fingers crossed!)... People don't understand that it's not like that. Especially thin people who have never had weight problems which bothers me because they obviously don't understand what we go through.

As a completely unrelated tangent: I have an MSc and plan on getting a PhD on obesity work and I'd love for it to make a difference in the perceptions of the general population about the PHYSIOLOGICAL causes of obesity. I find too much media (biggest loser, dr. Phil, dr. Oz, etc) focus on the PSYCHOLOGICAL... "It's all in your head" kinda perception. Which is why 98% of those people gain their weight back and those who don't gain back need to maintain abnormally active lifestyles with uncomfortably limited portions because they treated their symptoms (the fat) not the cause (the physiological problem; hormones, etc).[/quote']

You are so brave! It makes me sad that you don't have any family to share this with, and didn't have anyone to go with! But I believe through your courage you can now conquer anything!

[foxymomma 91]

I've told almost everyone lol! All my "friends" on Facebook new. People have been very supportive. Before surgery...people worried but now...they are amazed!