Some people here are meanies

[Fiddleman 4,376]

You can also report any one that you feel is a regular negative contribution to the forum. They will be banned and will not be allowed to post.

[doxieville 799]

You can also report any one that you feel is a regular negative contribution to the forum. They will be banned and will not be allowed to post.

Well.....not quite. You can report people and their posts get reviewed. I think if they are found to be violating rules, they get a warning. If continued, then banned. If it's really bad, then yes, they'll get banned immediately. The reason I want to clear that up is because it's important that we do

follow the basic rules on this board, but being a meanie doesn't automatically mean being banned (unfortunately, in some cases.). Like someone previously mentioned, what may seem mean to one person, isn't necessarily mean to another. :-)

That being said, there has been a lot snippy going on but I think the tide is changing, thankfully.

[clk 3,519]

I see VST less as someone's personal cheerleader and more as a place to share information, ideas and strategies on life with a gastric sleeve. It's a forum full of strangers from across the globe and I cannot expect everyone here to think and act the way I might.

I don't know, but as an adult I suppose I'm just used to dealing with both nice and not so nice people, with people that are blunt and with people that are delicate, and with people that take everything very personally and with people that let things roll of their backs. It's part of life. In the real world, I interact with those people just fine without the need for someone else to back me up or intervene.

I think what frustrates many people isn't that people don't search out old searches (though many people never bother to search at all), it's that on any given day you can find four active threads about the same exact topic in a forum. Most often, I simply ignore these repeats, but yes, seeing the same questions and information (and sometimes misinformation) being continually revived gets annoying. I think what frustrates people here the most is that those of us that don't need to be here come back to help. We want to share our experience and we genuinely want to see people succeed. Finding repeated posts from people that simply want validation for what they know are poor choices gets aggravating and I'm sure you'll understand that once you've been here a while.

This isn't kindergarten where we need a moderator to separate us into opposite corners because we disagree on occasion. We're all adults here, right? It's very easy to simply ignore someone that posts something you don't like or don't agree with and to avoid posts where you know that particular member has been active.

Oh, and I'm not only a meanie, I'm a hormonal pregnant woman.

~Cheri

[delta_girl 931]

It may really depend on what your definition of a meanie is.

I suppose we each have different sore spots and buttons that get pushed.

And I agree with clk .... when you come here on a regular basis for months and every day there are multiple new posts about the same things over and over and over, many asking for support or feel good comments on non-compliance, then it can be irritating.

I am not very sensitive to comments from people I don't know and who don't know me personally so I have seen very, very few comments that I would classify as mean. People vent, are frustrated, are scared, are depressed, are angry, are joyful, excited, curious, in pain, etc.... Are some of these feelings better or worse than others? No. Should people spend a lot of time pondering every word they write here for how others might interpret them? No. It is an open, public forum. We aren't substitutes for family members, best friends, counselors, nutritionists nor doctors. We are just a large collection of people with a common interest in a specific surgical procedure and the academic and emotional aspects of it.

Some of us are more academic, some are more emotional. Some are more mature, some are less mature.

We are a great big interconnected population of our own human experiences.

When you think of the forum like that, you may be less hyper sensitive to anything anyone says here.

Also ..I laugh at myself often, just as I laugh inside at some of the comments. Don't lose your sense of humor.

[fluffylibra30 323]

Sometimes people come here for justification of their behaviors and only want positive posts. If you come on here a few weeks out of surgery "oh I ate a double cheeseburger and some chips with no problem" people are going to be upset and be opinionated. If you don't want both sides of the opinion spectrum maybe you shouldn't post. Just because someone doesn't AGREE doesn't mean they are a "meanie" should they call names, use offensive language and belittle anyone, absolutely not. But this IS an opinion forum. You take the good with the bad and don't let anything anyone says here get you down.

[cms213 119]

Just to speak on why there might always be duplicates postings or the same questions being asked. I know for me at least yes I can do research and maybe I have but I still need that reassurance that I'm ok and doing the right thing. Although every question I've asked I turned around and asked the medical office or support group in person the same thing. I guess lets just remember this isn't just a physical thing but a huge mental change so we can be in a delicate state.

When I first started looking at the forums I thought people did sound kind of mean but after a while it seemed to get better. I agree with everyone here to just ignore it because after a while you start to see who the same people are.

[AlbanyDan 32]

Though it isn't as 'hormonal' as being pregnant the VSG surgery IS trauma to the body and Psyche. I was always active before a knee replacement and two herniated discs 2002. I convinced myself that any exercise was painful (it was). I discovered Kingsize online and Big and Tall stores. 2x became 3, 4, 5 then 6X. Arthritis pain stopped being an excuse. But the after surgery I felt I made a mistake. Depression, regret sets in. I actually missed coffee more than food at first. Now I miss being able to treat ourselves to meal out on an occasion and not having to.take half the meal home in a doggy bag

[AlbanyDan 32]

Though it isn't as 'hormonal' as being pregnant the VSG surgery IS trauma to the body and Psyche. I was always active before a knee replacement and two herniated discs 2002. I convinced myself that any exercise was painful (it was). I discovered Kingsize online and Big and Tall stores. 2x became 3, 4, 5 then 6X. Arthritis pain stopped being an excuse. But the after surgery I felt I made a mistake. Depression, regret sets in. I actually missed coffee more than food at first. Now I miss being able to treat ourselves to meal out on an occasion and not having to.take half the meal home in a doggy bag

[thinoneday 445]

Yup, totally agree, some of the people on here are mean and totally miserable, but like fluffylibra30 stated "is is an opinion forum, you take the good with the bad".

[hanners2009 40]

Many people on this page are extremely rude. I try to ignore them.

[mommybo 71]

Wow, thanks for all the posts but I think some people took it too literally. I wasn't talking about reposted topics, I am very aware that this is an opinion forum, I don't get upset if someone doesn't agree with my opinion, and I am not being over sensitive. I was just wondering about other sites. Actually, I don't get upset with any posts and if I don't like what's being posted, I do stop reading them. I was just making an observation and stating "my" opinion.

[ArcusX 216]

I love that I found this sight but is it me or are some people here mean?

Why do people have to be so darned sensitive?!?

Ok, you had that coming

I tend to agree with CLK and others. I've found this forum to be generally positive and mostly supportive. I find that I feel that I have to approach this forum much like I might approach folks I work with. I walk on egg shells a bit. Some folks are a little more sensitive than I think they should be, but, it is what it is.

Personally, I try to stay positive, yet truthful. I don't think VSG is for everyone. They may be prime physical candidates, but not emotional ones. And that's the hardest part; how do you nicely tell someone this probably isn't for them? It isn't always easy to be as tactful as everyone needs.

There was a post last week of someone who was devastated that they insurance had denied them for not having done a 90-day NUT supervised diet. My opinion: it's pretty standard if the surgeon's office didn't specify it, had she done ANY research, she might have even asked, "hey, don't i need to diet or something?" My comment was general enough to lay all blame on the doctor, but anyone considering this procedure needs to do their due diligence and be informed, and question anything that seems out of the ordinary. Does that make me "mean?" You might think so, but I honestly don't.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I see VST less as someone's personal cheerleader and more as a place to share information' date=' ideas and strategies on life with a gastric sleeve. It's a forum full of strangers from across the globe and I cannot expect everyone here to think and act the way I might.

I don't know, but as an adult I suppose I'm just used to dealing with both nice and not so nice people, with people that are blunt and with people that are delicate, and with people that take everything very personally and with people that let things roll of their backs. It's part of life. In the real world, I interact with those people just fine without the need for someone else to back me up or intervene.

I think what frustrates many people isn't that people don't search out old searches (though many people never bother to search at all), it's that on any given day you can find four active threads about the same exact topic in a forum. Most often, I simply ignore these repeats, but yes, seeing the same questions and information (and sometimes misinformation) being continually revived gets annoying. I think what frustrates people here the most is that those of us that don't need to be here come back to help. We want to share our experience and we genuinely want to see people succeed. Finding repeated posts from people that simply want validation for what they know are poor choices gets aggravating and I'm sure you'll understand that once you've been here a while.

This isn't kindergarten where we need a moderator to separate us into opposite corners because we disagree on occasion. We're all adults here, right? It's very easy to simply ignore someone that posts something you don't like or don't agree with and to avoid posts where you know that particular member has been active.

Oh, and I'm not only a meanie, I'm a hormonal pregnant woman.

~Cheri[/quote']

Sometimes I think we share the same brain. Oh God, does that make me a hormonal pregnant woman? I sure hope it's not twins.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Honestly y'all....the bitching and whining about mean people is getting way worse than all the truly mean statements ever were. Accept or ignore....move on. Don't let it keep bothering you and certainly don't keep rehashing old news.

[twoolley 141]

Honestly y'all....the bitching and whining about mean people is getting way worse than all the truly mean statements ever were. Accept or ignore....move on. Don't let it keep bothering you and certainly don't keep rehashing old news.

You make an interesting point. This "people are so mean here" thread popping up kinda often lately.

Anyways....

I'm probably considered one of the mean ones, I just don't take the extra time to sugar coat things. I work in a high pressure professional environment as a financial analyst and I am just a nononsence tell it like it is personality type. My wife actually just reminded me to be sympathetic about something this weekend... I can't remember what it was, I think her sinuses hurt or something. Obviously I failed that one. My son also knows that little Suzie stealing your toy car at school isn't a newsworthy complaint.

I would like to point out that the alternative is that people stop caring.

So next time someone posted that they haven't lost any weight but they just figured how to eat an entire Jack in the Box bacon ultimate cheeseburger if they just took off the top bun and cut it into 16 pieces and at one piece every 15 minutes they got SO much Protein in just 4 hours & they at all the french fries that they thought would make them sick but they didn't! Ok come on, I LOL'd while typing that!