Parent/Teenager Poll

[angel bear 2]

MMMmm. I have 3 kids - one is gone and on his own - doing well and staying out of trouble - actually he's a blessing. My middle is a girl - teenager and full of life - but I keep her busy within the community and volunteering at school. I had one incident with her and took away the internet and phone for a week and it hasn't happened again. It's my youngest whose always been the trial - although I love him to death and he is cute (and know it) I'm not looking forward to the teenage years.

My mom still gives me advice even though I don't ask for it. I don't think you can ever take the "mom" out of mother.

[j_war06 0]

They arent that's the problem . LOL I know I wasnt . Your mom is probably just trying to get to know you . Or be involved when she realizes she wasnt last yr. I did not want my parents to know anything about me, what i was doing , they would have been the LAST people I would have told my problesm to as little as 5 yrs ago . ( I still had some rebel in me then ) Now, my mom is the first person I go to with problems . My husband and My dad are so a like its SCAREY SOmetimes. lol.. When i was younger I could not STAND my parents . >>>>> I just caught something. Were you living with your parents last yr ?

If not the probbaly have empty nest syndrome. LOL They miss you and want to know everything your doing because your not at home. I saw a thing on oprah about this wants. They are called Helicopter parents. Cause the "Hover" From a far LOL

Mindy

Oh my parents and I have always had a close relationship. she is having empty nest syndrome, but I cant come home all the time, number one I dont want to, and number two its too far. I moved this far away so I wouldnt be home alllll the time. They were involved in every thing I did, like I did Theatre and they totally came to my plays even though they have no taste for theatre, they helped out a ton with Project Grad. But My mom JUST started doing this like 2 weeks ago, the last time I went home due to unfortunate circumstances, and ever since then she has tried to extend a leash all the way where I live now! Its crazy

[CLOE 0]

WOW, if nothing else, I certainley know that I'm not alone. You guys have all been extremely helpful.

My daughter hasn't had her car for a few days now, except to drive to work. And every now and then I pop in at work to see her, bring her a tea (make sure she's really working). And from past experience, and it baffles me every time we've had to come down on her, she's happier. GO FIGURE!! She whines and pleas for her car back, but mostly she's just nicer to be around. She seems more grounded or something. We see her teachers on Thursday night, we will talk to them, and then we told her we'll go from there. Right now my husband and I both agree, and to her, that our most important goal is to get her threw grade 12, successfully!! and get her to 18. Secondly, make her see the sense with this boy. On that issue I try to just let her see how I feel about it. If I'm angry, I let her know, if I'm sad, I cry in front of her. Really, she needs to know how I feel, not so much that I disapprove(although, she knows that).

Anyhow, another day goes by in the saga of a teenager!!

Thanks again to all:) !

[missy4gordon 0]

I did not want my parents to know anything about me, what i was doing , they would have been the LAST people I would have told my problesm to as little as 5 yrs ago . ( I still had some rebel in me then ) Now, my mom is the first person I go to with problems . My husband and My dad are so a like its SCAREY SOmetimes. lol.. When i was younger I could not STAND my parents .

Mindy

Could we be long lost sisters? This describes what my relationship was with my parents too. I am 32 but I came around when I was like 23 and starting actually being friends with my parents. I remember what being a teenager was like as if it was yesterday and I want my kids to be 100% the opposite!!

[coltonwade 27]

Could we be long lost sisters? This describes what my relationship was with my parents too. I am 32 but I came around when I was like 23 and starting actually being friends with my parents. I remember what being a teenager was like as if it was yesterday and I want my kids to be 100% the opposite!!

LOL Maybe so . I came around about the age of 25 or 26 . I still had ALOT of rebelion in me. About the time I got married things changed. Its funny though how parents can make grown children ( adults) feel like they did when they were children by saying or doing certain things. My parents stilll do something.

I was SUCH a screw up as a teen. (ie having a child at 16 lol) My parents STILL treat me like I screw things up on occasion or like they dont trust me.

But I get over it now.

My parents were good parents but they made some mistakes. They still are making mistakes that I THOUGHT they would have learned from me . I have a little sister who is 15 , she's 8 months older than my son . My parents apparently didnt learn when it came to their " Ways' On sex w/her. Well guess who she came to to ask about getting on the pill ? ME ... Why ? My parents didnt make it easy for her to talk to them just like they did w/me.

They frustrate me to no end sometimes with her. She told me the other day " Im glad I have you cause mom and dad sure dont make it easy "

Mindy

[argon 3]

They were involved in every thing I did, like I did Theatre and they totally came to my plays even though they have no taste for theatre, they helped out a ton with Project Grad.

Uggghh... don'tcha just hate it when parents are supportive?! Lucky you got out of there.

[coltonwade 27]

Uggghh... don'tcha just hate it when parents are supportive?! Lucky you got out of there.

ROFLMAO I was just thinking the same thing.:clap2:

Here I have 3 boys at my house every weekend who's parents could care less what the hell they are doing. :cry

All 3 of them play football and 2 of the boys ( the brothers) their mom has NEVER seen them play. THe last game of the season the boys begged her to come and she didnt they were so crushed ! :cry Things like this are appreciaed later in life .

Mindy

[argon 3]

All 3 of them play football and 2 of the boys ( the brothers) their mom has NEVER seen them play. THe last game of the season the boys begged her to come and she didnt they were so crushed !

She probably just doesn't like football! LOL

[Yoda 0]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm watching muscular young men slap one another on the ass...!!! What's NOT to like?!

[argon 3]

Kid's football, Yoda, kid's football!! LOL

[Yoda 0]

hehe....:nervous

[coltonwade 27]

Kid's football, Yoda, kid's football!! LOL

ROFLMAO :heh::heh::heh::heh::heh::heh:

MIDDLE SCHOOL FOOTBALL YODA Middle School. !!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL

Mindy

[Yoda 0]

Alrighty...well CANADA here!! What grades are middle school???

In Canada....there is even a very small %age of High schools that have football teams!!! It's just not that big up here (in schools)....

But, I get the point! LOL

but....now, grown men playing football.....and all that ass slappin' is about the only thing worthwhile watching wrt football!!!

[sophrosyne 0]

She's in "love." This too shall pass.

I would talk to her, but keep in mind that she'll probably tune you out and do what she wants. So I would just tell her that I think her relationship is great, I'm so happy she's in love, support the bf, no matter how stupid you think he is (she'll figure it out eventually). Talk to her about birth control (if you haven't already), the importance of school, and even university - maybe one close to bf, or maybe they can rent an apartment together by the university. When she's ready. Just keep it in mind.

If you fight with her or nag her about getting pregnant, you're just going to shoot yourself in the foot. Just tell her that you love her and will support her, whatever her decision is, but you hope that she won't give up on school.

Even if she does, it's only temporary. She can always choose to go to college later.

The more you fight against the bf and point out what a skank he is, the more they dig in their heels and see themselves as Romeo and Juliet. And then they run off together, have babies, and you get banned from seeing your grandchildren, because they can't forget how much you hated the skanky bf.

Unfortunately, she's pretty much an adult. And if you push, she might just move out. She might move out anyway.

Teenagerdom is hell.

PS: If you want to be sneaky, start having acceptable, cute boys come over to help you with something. Maybe some university boys. Just don't make a thing about it. Eventually she'll see that she has better options.

[marjon9 6]

I voted for setting tight rules and if she goes, she goes. But it's not that I think setting tight rules will make her do what the parents want or otherwise change her behavior. I voted that way because I think one of the most important things we can do for our kids is to draw boundaries and stand for what we believe in. Teenagers are going to do what they want one way or another. But eventually, when they have more life experience and think things through for themselves, they will have a solid parental example to reflect against. Even if it turns out that she was right and knew best what was right for her and the parent was wrong, that does not make any difference in my opinion. What matters is that we demonstrate love, courage and integrity. If we just tell her she is free to do whatever she wants, it seems to me that the message there is that we are not willing to pay the price for our beliefs, and we don't care enough to fight for her.