Great to Find LGBT Support on Here!

[Kennedy310 33]

So sorry your date was changed! That would have sent me over the edge that close to surgery! I had a lot of setbacks during my prep period due to insurance, but I got through it all, and had surgery 12/11. So far everything has gone really well!

I had to comment about your question regarding who you should tell. As others have said, that's entirely up to you. I have to say, I was really worried about how some would react, because I agree, there's a huge stigma attached to WLS. But I have yet to have a negative reaction. In fact, I haven't gone around advertising it, but when people have asked why I was out of work for 2 weeks, I told them. The girls in our front office at the school where I teach were instantly super excited and very supportive. They wanted details and asked me to keep them posted about how it was going. They offered to be my cheerleaders. It's a small thing, but it felt really nice to be so openly supported in such a major life decision. There will be those who judge, but they tend to be the same people who judge about everything else, so there's just no winning with those people.

Good luck! It will happen before you know it!

Thanks, Jennie. Yes, it was a rough hurdle for sure. But you're right, it's gonna happen soon enough.

That's a great story. It is wonderful when the kindness of folks lifts us up like that. More reason to live our lives open and without shame or regret. Thanks for sharing.

[WillowAnn 7]

Hi, all -

I was really reluctant to tell anyone about even looking into surgery, except for my partner and a couple we're friends with in which one had RnY a few years back. After a couple of weeks, I had to tell my mom - she has dinner with us 2 or 3 days a week. At first she was surprised and very worried, but I talked to her and she came to see that I had done a lot of research and soul-searching. She has a gym friend in her 70s that had it a couple of years ago, and talking to her helped my mom, too.

I told one of the 9 docs I worked with, and he was wonderful. Apparently he has a family fiend who is a bariatric surgeon. But I still don't feel like making announcements, so I told him that while I'm on leave he can tell the other 8, and any of my staff who asks why I'm out on leave.

This is going to sound really weird, but my biggest worry isn't people who will try to talk me out of it - it's the many very overweight women whom I have hired over the years. Several are significantly larger than I am - probably 4 or 5 of my 38-member team are over 300#. Will they feel like my decision to do this is a judgment of them - like "she must not want to end up like us (ergo she thinks we're bad)"?? Will seeing me get smaller quickly make them feel uncomfortable, or shamed?

I tend to be a person who judges myself far more harshly than she judges anyone else, and as a manager I worry a lot about how whatever I do and say affects my team's morale. I'm probably going way overboard here, but I can't help it.

I have to say that when I finally came out 7 or 8 years ago, it didn't seem to make one darned bit of difference to any doctor or any of my staff.

[Kennedy310 33]

Hi, all -

I was really reluctant to tell anyone about even looking into surgery, except for my partner and a couple we're friends with in which one had RnY a few years back. After a couple of weeks, I had to tell my mom - she has dinner with us 2 or 3 days a week. At first she was surprised and very worried, but I talked to her and she came to see that I had done a lot of research and soul-searching. She has a gym friend in her 70s that had it a couple of years ago, and talking to her helped my mom, too.

I told one of the 9 docs I worked with, and he was wonderful. Apparently he has a family fiend who is a bariatric surgeon. But I still don't feel like making announcements, so I told him that while I'm on leave he can tell the other 8, and any of my staff who asks why I'm out on leave.

This is going to sound really weird, but my biggest worry isn't people who will try to talk me out of it - it's the many very overweight women whom I have hired over the years. Several are significantly larger than I am - probably 4 or 5 of my 38-member team are over 300#. Will they feel like my decision to do this is a judgment of them - like "she must not want to end up like us (ergo she thinks we're bad)"?? Will seeing me get smaller quickly make them feel uncomfortable, or shamed?

I tend to be a person who judges myself far more harshly than she judges anyone else, and as a manager I worry a lot about how whatever I do and say affects my team's morale. I'm probably going way overboard here, but I can't help it.

I have to say that when I finally came out 7 or 8 years ago, it didn't seem to make one darned bit of difference to any doctor or any of my staff.

Hi WillowAnn-

That is a really interesting concern that your workplace presents. First off, kudos for the self-awareness it takes to realize that you may be internalizing the issue & worrying more than necessary.

That very well may be the case, but it is still a legitimate concern even so because so many of us who have dealt with weight/food issues are uniquely sensitive to those issues.

I can share a recent personal experience that may be helpful. I have a co-worker who is also overweight. She & I have become friends over the year we've known one another. I decided to share my journey to surgery with her. I followed her cues as to how comfortable she was in discussing it & didn't over-share information with her. I approached our discussion from a "I know you can relate to this frustration" point of view & it went very smoothly. In fact, she revealed that she has thought about WLS & will be interesting in my journey to see if it is right for her as well.

I know not everyone reacts or handles things the same, so the people at your work may be different. And being a boss can make it a different dynamic that may not make a lot of persona discussion possible. But so far, I have found that it can be a supportive relationship rather than an adversarial one.

[T'snewstart 251]

Hi, I am.sorry that your date was changed last minute. Honestly, I would not have handled that well. However, it sounds like you have made the mental adjustment you needed.....You sound like a strong person....More power to you! I am gay and must say it is nice to see family on here..... I feel for those who have struggled with people not being kind to those of us who have chosen wls. I never expected a few of my friends to struggle with my wls surgery. They were fine until my weight dropped lower than their own. Now there is trouble in the water... My approach has been to just encourage them to take care of their health. Never in my wildest dreams did I see this coming. However, I feel sorry for them. At work I chose to tell very few people pre op. Post op I tell everyone at who asks.That worked out well for me. I have gotten nothing but positive reactions from every co worker who has asked. Anyhow enough of my rambling... Best Wishes...... Tina