Can I Slap You Now?

[Vidalia 122]

I decided to go check out a local gym because the weather is horrible here and I can't get my walks in. When I was talking to the trainer I explained that I had recently had gastric sleeve surgery and needed to work my muscles and do cardio. Immediately, she got a bad look on her face and said, "Oh, nooo." ...like I had done something horrible. I gave her a not so happy look back and she said, "Well, it's just that my friend and I were both 100 pounds overweight. I was able to lose all my weight just doing this (pointing to all the equipment), but my friend had gastric bypass and gets sick every time she eats.

I have not kept my surgery a secret from anyone. In fact, I am quite proud that I had the guts (no pun intended) to go through with it. I know the reasons why I did it and I am satisfied with my decision. This is the first real negative reaction I have received since my surgery and I guess I was a little unprepared for it. I can see now why some people keep it a secret. Does anyone have a standard answer they give to people who have negative reactions to their surgery? Needless to say, the trainer's reaction makes me not want to attend this gym now that I know what she is thinking about me.

[NancyDec20 212]

I would report them. But thats just me.. they are there to help us.. not to put us down or give negative feedback..

[delta_girl 931]

Everyone has a reason for their choice, but I don't share my business. It is personal and I couldn't care less for anyone's opinion about what I elect do do or why I elected to do it. I don't lie and I'm not hiding anything, I just don't share my personal business. I wouldn't tell a salesperson that the reason why I am looking for a certain size panties is because I lost weight from vsg. Not their business.

I don't suggest that someone should agree with my approach because a lot of people are helped when someone who has had bariatric surgery shares their experience and can encourage others to seek similar help if they need it. It depends on your personality, your goals and your preferences. If you are going to willingly disclose your surgery with everyone, then be prepared for any and every reaction.

[BigCraig 87]

Tell them to EF OFF

[gingerRN 81]

I'm very open too and have had all kinds of responses. Yesterday when a quite large coworker asked " why would u have that done??" I found myself skirting the truth not to offend her.

[elizabethowen79 34]

Yes you can slap her. I understand why people are either open about the surgery or private; I have chosen to be open about it. That was a very insensitive remark. I would have said something like "that's great that you were able to lose weight by exercising, but after struggling with my weight for so long I decided that surgery was what I needed to help me do that". If the trainer is still negative, I would ask to see another trainer. I would also ask to speak to the owner of the facility and relay the conversation and explain that you are not asking for anyone's approval, that you just need help with exercise.

Best of luck!!

[KarissaKhaos 170]

Yes you can slap her. I understand why people are either open about the surgery or private; I have chosen to be open about it. That was a very insensitive remark. I would have said something like "that's great that you were able to lose weight by exercising' date=' but after struggling with my weight for so long I decided that surgery was what I needed to help me do that". If the trainer is still negative, I would ask to see another trainer. I would also ask to speak to the owner of the facility and relay the conversation and explain that you are not asking for anyone's approval, that you just need help with exercise.

Best of luck!![/quote']

I agree completely, they aren't supposed.to judge you.

[Geminidrive 389]

I haven't had anyone give me negative responses, but I would have said to her with a smile on my face, "Aw good for you sweetie now back to me, I had this surgery because my butt was fat and I was in poor health and I decided to take control of my body, hence the reason I'm here."

[vsginnj 415]

When I go to the gym I always get dressed in the dry sauna , tie sneakers , and stretch. This guy said why do you need to sweat your so skinny? I explained my need to warm up I ain't no ninja. Then gave due credit to my surgeon and sleeve he in turn related he consulted with My surgeon 10 years ago and was talked out of rny bypass by family. I educated him about this "new " procedure and my so far success . He is 55 and has been 375 - 425 as long as he remembers and is "calling him back this week" I will take 100 bad reactions if I can help one person by sharing my experience it's how I say thank you to god for this gift I have been given. As far as trainers negativity " let your haters be your motivators" !!!

[Joy0125 95]

I start with a trainer on Monday. I hope my experience is much better. Sorry to hear that they commented the way they did. They should really keep their personal opinions to themselves.

[AStephenson 159]

Well la-de-dah for her...she may have actually been genuinely concerned that you may have problems like her friend, but I think she was tooting her own horn...a little too loudly....and right in your face!! I would feel the same way you do about going to this particular gym. I'd go somewhere else.

[Threetimesacharm 1,400]

Well in reading your post her comment was that her friend who had gastric bypass gets sick everytime she eats. How is this statement negative towards you? You could have pleasantly stated how well you are doing yadda, yadda. Maybe this would have lead to conversation about not every patient having a negative experience. Just my two cents.

[theshrinkingchef 61]

Hmm.. I probably would have said, it's a different experience for everyone and that it has nothing to do with you. Sorry that she's experiencing those problems, but that you are not. I would have congratulated her on her weight loss and since she's a trainer, ask her how she did it! We still have to put the work in! If she has a problem and wants to judge you, move on. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your choices or decisions.

[atelux17 135]

I'd say, "I made the right choice for me. I'm very well informed about this surgery. (Unlike your ignorant ass that will likely regain in a year or in a time of stress) Im sorry your friend has problems, but you cannot judge someone's situation unless you've lived it& I knew what I needed to do to help me lose weight."

[Boofster 159]

Sounds like a bit of jealousy or bias On the trainer's part got in the way. I'd prolly look for another trainer. As someone whose main concern is health and vitality, I think she definitely could have been more positive. You want someone who inspires you, right?

When I told a good friend of my plans for surgery, she said "be prepared to throw up a lot." I laughed at her ignorance and left it alone. People say the dumbest things. And I haven't barfed once.

On the flip side, I went to the dentist for a cleaning & checkup today. The hygienist asked if here were any changes in my health. I told her about the surgery and my weight loss,and that i was off all my meds. She lit up like a Christmas tree, hugged me and said I looked great. She asked a few questions about the surgery and congratulated me again. You could tell she was genuine in her happiness for me.

Good luck, and kudos to you for hitting the gym!