Help

[kmbrlycool 214]

I know I've asked before...

I need help. I need a kick in the ass. I got sleeved 4-24-12 starting weight 375. Today 1-4-13 I weigh 244. I know I know. That's a fabulous weight loss. But I'm simply not happy. I haven't lost weight in about 2.5 months... And I know why... I'm falling back into my old patterns. I'm eating things that I shouldn't and I know it. I'll eat a piece of candy and ill say to myself... It's just one piece. Then it turns into 2-3-4 Etc. and the thing that really sucks is that my stomach handles it all just fine... No nausea, no stomach ache, no sliming, nothing.

How do I get my ass in shape? How do I resist the temptations of bread. Of candy. Of chocolate. Of chips and dip and Cookies. I just can't stop

It's getting so bad I just had a conversation with my husband pleading with him to not let me eat this crap. And I told him if I catch an attitude with him when I go to eat this I'm sorry and it's only because I have an addition. I truly feel like I'm addicted to food. I feel like its what I think about from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. And I can easily wake up in the middle of the night and go eat.

I picked cookies out of the garbage a few nights ago. That's embarrassing and ridiculous. And gross.

I got this surgery to have a different better life. Not to lose the weight and stop here or to gain it back.

I'm 27. I want to get pregnant.

I know nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but a Hershey's kiss tastes damn good

What do I do? How do I fix this? I was doing so well and then I started making a small exception here and there. I saw a mini candy bar didn't make me sick, so I ate more. A small bag of Doritos had no effect.

When I get hungry, I feel like I must have it now! When I went in the grocery store tonight I was shopping for dinner, but I was also thinking about what I could eat on the 4 minute ride home. It's just that pathetic. I wound up only buying good stuff and had a cheese stick on the way home. But I attempted to make a hamburger for dinner (93% lean) and had a side of potatoes. Stupid decision on the potatoes and wound up burning the damn hamburger to a crisp so all I ate was the potatoes... So stupid. And then I saw a box of candy on the licing room floor and even though I was stuffed from the potatoes, I just had to have the candy.

I have since thrown away the box of candy, and a bag of chips (that I convinced myself were healthy because they were veggie straws) but how do I avoid this all together?

Why am I so obsessed with food? What is wrong with me? How do I get back on track?

[valdostaGA 149]

Have u ever thought about therapy to see why you're addicted? That's what I had to do! I took therapy before surgery and will go back if I need to.

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[Traci J. 207]

Maybe you should see a counselor to help figure this out. Maybe you are trying to fill a void. Maybe you're not happy in some area of your life and you turn to food. I hope you figure it out and get back on track.

[kmbrlycool 214]

I think I will really look into therapy. I just got insurance through my employer and will check it out!

[Susmcmur 124]

I feel such empathy for you and can really sense your pain and shame. I had a similar slip and slide in the week between Christmas and New Year's Day. One cookie led to three, along with chips, pretzels and crackers at random, non-meal times. Felt like crap; wished I would have felt physically ill, and am actually surprised that the sugar and fat didn't make me sick. I made it through 7-8 months following Dr and Nut guidelines and eating Protein first, avoiding processed carbs, drinking tons of Water, getting 65+ grams of Protein daily. I try some new (OLD) foods and have no ill effects, and pretty much immediately revert to a carb junkie.

I can't say this will work for you, but I woke up today and literally listed every truth I could think of about my surgery and weight loss so far. I drank 80-some oz of Water today, logged 77 grams of protein, and had some croutons on my chicken Caesar salad as my big carb treat of the day. I already feel so much better. It's kind of my way of getting back to basics and pulling a Ms Divas Boot Camp. I will be 54 on Monday and I figure that's a lot of years of building up rotten patterns of eating and relating to food. Its great that I've lost 80 pounds so far and have 20 to go to my surgeon's goal, but I love myself enough to nurture myself to good health, too. I am so proud of you, and a little jealous too! You are half my age (I was married at 27, and had my first of three sons at 32), and have such a bright, light future ahead. You can do this!

[kmbrlycool 214]

Thank you for that. I just need to cut the crap.

[TheGamer 406]

food is addicting. I mean that in the most literal sense. We are, for lack of better explanation, hard wired to want things that are bad for us. Especially people in our situation. Nobody gets to close to 400 pounds (I weighted 383 at my worst) eating healthy, reasonable portions. We evolved when sugar and fat were scarce things, not something that you can find in spades in every aisle in every market and corner store. While your average person can have one thing and step away, we can't. It's a terrible addiction to have, because food is unavoidable if we want to live.

I can't have "just one". I can't have any food around me like that because if it's there, I will eat it. I'm not that strong to sit there and look at it and not have it be the only thing on my mind until I fail. I realize it may be difficult to do since you live with another person, but if it's possible, get everything out of the house that's high sugar, high fat, and high carb. If there is something and getting rid of it isn't possible, lock it up and give the key to someone else.

Nobody would expect an alcoholic to sit around in a bar all day, but there's such a stigma around being fat and around being addicted to food that it's hard to get anyone to take it seriously.

[kmbrlycool 214]

Thank you. I will go through mg cabinet and buy a lock.